Vampire Heart
by AniolMroku
Summary: Have you ever imagined how it would be like to find your own Edward? Because I have. And THIS came out. R&R No Bella and Cullens here.
1. 16th October: Tuesday

**A/N: It wans't supposed to be read by anyone whe I first write it. It's also my first attempt at publishing my story. So advices appreciate. English is not my native language so if you find any mistakes, please tell me.**

**It's only connected with the Twilight series. You won't find Edward Cullen or Bella Swan here (though there are some mentions).**

**Takes place in Poland. The main character is supposed to be me-like. It's me and not me at the same time. I'm taking advantage of some similarities... for example names... ;)**

**16.10 Tuesday**

Dilapidated buildings, which remained after an old railway station, were surrounding me. Places where trains had been fixed probably in times of the People's Republic of Poland. Places where many people had used to work and live. The buildings were completely empty now. There were only a few window panes left – the ones which hooligans hadn't reached with stones. Trash and bird's droppings were lying on floors and pseudograffiti were defacing walls. Though it was said the homeless used to sleep there the place was dead. That's why I liked it so much; it was just like me.

It was dark already and I was going back from school. Engrossed in my daily routine, I was going straight on through my wellknown trail. I didn't know what time it was. To tell the truth, I didn't even think about where I was going. My legs were moving on their own. I wouldn't see anything in the dark anyway, even if I wasn't shortsighted. I had forgotten I should have taken a bus to bypass such a dangerous place.

Suddenly, I felt something picking me up with unusual strength. I didn't even have time to shout and I was on a floor of one of the empty buildings. My mouth was gagged and I was pinned to a wall. What had happened wasn't even worth thinking about. There were only three kinds of people I might become a victim of:

a) a thief,

b) a rapist,

c) a murderer.

He might be a mix of these professions of course, but it didn't matter to me. I preferred the c)option.

I looked at my torturer and my breath stopped with shock. The guy, who was squatting in front of me, was so exceptionally beautiful that he would make many models jealous. His hair was black, necklong and a little messy. It was contrasting with extremely pale, not to say white, skin. A sinister smile was contorting his slim, noble face. But the most sensational things were his eyes. They were intensive red and deep like two wells, almost hypnotic. HeWas fairly tall and wellbuilt, however he didn't look like an athlete, he was too skinny. Practically all of him seemed ideal. The impression wasn't ruined even by the dark shadows under his eyes. Even his clothing was spotless, though he was just attacking a girl in an unsafe area!

"If you're quiet I'll kill you quickly and painlessly." he whispered. His voice was beautiful and strangely familiar. After a while I knew why. I could hear it every time someone phoned me. A chorus of 'What I've Done' could be heard then. The voice of Chester Bennington. However, the boy in front of me wasn't him for sure. He let go of my face uneasily. His smile widened when he was sure I wouldn't shout.

"Good girl." I was wrong. His voice was more unusual than Linkin Park's vocalist's. It was deep and musical, with a lot of tones.

The kidnapper's gaze inspected me. I saw fascination and incredulity on his face. "Well, well, well." Finally, he shook his head with reflection.

His behavior was at least strange. He should just do what he wanted and go away. Meanwhile, he seemed to have a great fun with only watching me. _Maybe he's some kind of a cruel nut who wants to play with human life and is going to torture me?_ I thought. It was very probable as he was looking like a child thinking what to do with his new toy; take to pieces or trample.

I should start to be scared, I should actually shout for help and take to my heels, but I couldn't. Not because of shock – it faded away a while ago. Simply, the dead can't be scared, and I had been dead for a long time in my own eyes. A stupor I had been living with didn't let me experience any strong emotions. I had been living from day to day, next to the world. Life hadn't been satisfying to me. I had accepted the death a long time ago. No, not accepted it; I desired it.

Suddenly, I felt his nose on my neck. I trembled, surprised. I didn't even notice when he leaned in! So it was option b)? I definitely didn't like it. The guy inhaled deeply, surely sniffing at my skin. His nose was unnaturally cold. The darkhaired man went back to a squat, so I was finally able to look at his face. I tried to read it so I could know what he was going to do. Inoticed with surprise that his eyes were almost completely black now.

"Well, well, well." he repeated with regard, his voice a little husky. All of a sudden, he laughed loudly."What an irony." he said looking at me strangely. "The person who poses as a vampire will be killed by one." That statement surprised me. How could he know that I was sometimes joking, calling myself a vamp? Had he spied on me? "You do have some vampire features, indeed... Pale skin, sharp fangs..." he smiled wide showing snowwhite straight teeth. Very sharp ones. "And some superhuman powers." He bent over me unexpectedly. "Can you tell me what I'm gonna do now?"

I guessed he meant my welldeveloped intuition – my feelings were always right. I decided to check something. Not that I was very interested in what my aggressor was going to do with me. Simply a conversation with a murderer seemed to be quite an interesting experience for me. A murderer? If it was so, then why didn't I feel death breathing down my neck? "You won't kill me now..." I answered slowly. "But..." I shook my head with thought. "That's strange..."

The man was looking at me fascinated. "What do you feel?"

I was lost in thoughts. It was something I hadn't experienced so far. Emotions, big emotions. Neither fear nor anger, however. Then what? I didn't know any other strong impressions. I shook my head, resigned."I don't know what it is."

He seemed disappointed. "You don't control your power properly yet." He said with rebuke. "However, maybe it's better as it is…" he smiled mischievously.

Half a second later I felt something cold pressing my mouth. Just after a while, I noticed they were the boy's lips. I smelt a strange, sweet smell, unfamiliar to anything I knew. I was dizzy, my stomach did a somersault. "M… Delicious." The darkhaired guy licked his lips when he finally unglued them from me. "La tua cantante…"

Finally, I was able to associate the facts. I had had an impression that my torturer's look, his features and statements reminded me of something from the very beginning. Stephenie Meyer's Twilight. A tale about a romance between a girl and a vampire. But was it possible that I had experienced my first kiss with a bloodsucker?

The guy was looking attentively at me. He probably saw understanding on my face and smiled with satisfaction. Had I already told that he had an incredible smile? "I can see that you already know who I am." he seemed amused. I nodded. At the same time I felt an unfamiliar sensation somewhere around my heart. Excitement. My life became interesting at least. The conversation with the vampire was fulfilling my need of uniqueness completely. I could feel that this wouldn't be the end…

The darkhaired man sat in front of me on the floor. "I was hunting nearby at the very moment," He started in a talkative voice "when I smelled your scent. I have always heard that 'the singers' are exceptional., and I must admit that I'm not disappointed."

"If my blood attracts you then why haven't you drunk it yet?" I asked with pure curiosity.

In one moment he was on his legs bending over me. He was moving nimbly and quickly, like a cat. "You've intrigued me." he stated with regard. "By the way, though I know it's not proper, I just love playing with my meal." His tone was now sinister.

I giggled. It threw him off the track.

"Aren't you afraid of me at all?" He asked gloomily.

"Nope." I told him with satisfaction. "On the contrary. I'm glad there's finally something interesting happening in my life." I said, with more honestly than I intended, hypnotized by his irises, which were now changing their color back to red. He got clearly sulky.

"It's a pity. I like when my victims scream and beg me to save their lives…"

"I'm sorry I disappointed you."

He looked at me attentively. "Don't think I'll leave it like that." He grunted. He stood erect and said with a grand voice: "I will watch you. Be on your guard." And then he just disappeared.

Excitement, which had been filling my heart for a while, completely faded away. _I suppose it will appear as a delusion when I get home_, I thought, _Or I will wake up soon_. I stepped over a window frame and dragged myself to my home, resigned.


	2. 17th October: Wednesday

**17.10 Wednesday**

My cell phone crowed. Actually, that was my cell's alarm. I held out my hand to turn it off. I was getting used to the thought of getting up a while later. Such an interesting dream I had had! It was about a conversation with a vampire…

I sighed and opened my eyes while sitting up. "Ah!" I almost shouted with shock. The guy who had been in my dream was now sitting on my armchair! He smiled a mischievous smile as he saw my face.

"I frightened you?" He asked ironically.

"You surprised me." I corrected. "I thought it was a dream."

He laughed resonantly. "Actually, for someone whose life is so ordinary, meeting a vampire really could seem to be a dream."

I frowned. How could he know so much about me? "Can you read thoughts?"

He laughed again. "No, not exactly. I can read memories. Not thoughts, but pictures and sounds you've seen and heard. I can also read sensory impressions and smells, though less sharply. It works by physical contact only, of course, not from a distance."

I nodded. It explained everything. "And why are you here?"

He shrugged. "I did warn you I was going to watch you, didn't I?"

"And you've been _watching_ me like this all night?" I felt anger slowly cumulating inside of me. How dare he spy on me like that?

"It was pretty interesting." He chuckled. "I've never seen someone who thrashes around so much. I thought you'd get concussion as you'd hit your head against a wall."

I threw a pillow at him but he caught it nimbly. I got up and started to piece together clothes to wear. Suddenly something came into my head. "I don't even know your name, in general."

The boy giggled again. "Edward."

I turned around shocked.

"Yup." he grinned at my expression. "My _fathe_r was a fan of this book. It's the only one which described us properly."

I smiled. I wasn't surprised he knew what was on my mind. "Great. Edward the vampire. Isabel the girl and my blood sings to you. What a strange coincidence."

"But it won't be like in the book here. I'm going to kill you."

I shrugged still smiling wide. "In that case, I'll be waiting."

I went to the bathroom to prepare myself for school. When I get back to my room, Edward wasn't there. I went out quickly locking the apartment. I got to the bus stop at the very last moment; the bus was already arriving. I sat at my usual place and turn on my mp3 player. I was looking through a window so I didn't notice someone who sat beside me. Only a familiar voice 'woke me up'. "I haven't taken a bus recently. Its way too slow…" The voice stated with disappointment.

I turned around impetuously, straining my muscles by the way. Reclined conveniently Edward was sitting next to me. He chuckled as he saw my reaction. "How often are you going to surprise me like that?" I asked with reproach massaging my nape.

"It's funny." He didn't excuse himself, he just stated that fact.  
I sighed with resignation. "Are you gonna go with me to my classes?"

He reconsidered for a while. "No, I'm going hunting now. I'll have to do it more often, I don't want to attack you too early after all…" He smiled sinisterly. "However, after your lessons I'll drive for you and inquire about everything."

"You'll drive for me?" I was surprised.

"I have to learn some things about you… The fact that I can see your memories doesn't mean I know you well."

"I have an appointment for today…"

"With WhiteIsa, I know. You wanted to search for a jacket. You'll go with me."

"And what am I gonna tell Isa? That a vampire invited me for a psychological session with tea?"

He laughed silently and got lost in his thoughts. "Tell them you're going on a date. I will gladly see how they will react to the news. Especially considering that dating your only boyfriend wasn't serious."

"They will be shocked." I growled.

He looked at me carefully. "If you want your life to be more interesting you should leave all your standards and feminism alone." He stated.

I didn't speak to him till the end of our journey and when I got off the bus he simply disappeared. During my lessons I was on pins and needles. The school had never seemed so boring to me. I couldn't wait for my appointment with Edward. I wondered why there was so much emotion inside of me and I came to the conclusion that it was because of his vampire nature. The boy attracted like a real predator should.

There was also my best friend's problem left. I had to inform her delicately that I would go shopping with a boy instead of her. I didn't want whole grade to know about it, did I? I managed to draw her away from Kate and Moniq for a while.

"I can't go shopping with you today. Sorry." I did my best to make a pained face.

"It's OK, I should meet Kris anyway." Kris was her mysterious admirer, with whom she had been writing SMS's for some time. They had made appointments few times but each time something had happened and they couldn't have met. It had been Isa's fault after all. "Do you mind telling me why?"

_Tell them you're going on a date._ I heard the memory of Edward's voice in my head. "I'm going on a date." I said with no delicacy.

Isa's jaw dropped.

"With whom?" Smiling, Kate appeared behind me. She had to be looking for us and heard everything accidentally. Great…

"You don't know him."

"But you can tell us his name, I think." Kate became suspicious.

"Edward."

They both burst on a laugh.

"Who is giving such an old-fashion name to a kid nowadays? It was in fashion in XIX century!" White snorted. I looked daggers at her.

"Handsome, at least?" Kat tried to patch up the situation.

A pale face with hypnotic red eyes appeared in my mind. The face smiled boisterously. Even our rigorous Polish teacher's heart had to melt at the sight of this smile.

"Oh, yeah." I sighted. Dammit, I hadn't wanted it to sound like that!

Girls looked at each other significantly. "Good luck, then." Isa gave me the eye. "And we're expecting detailed relation tomorrow." I hoped they would forget about the whole thing till tomorrow.

As we went off the school I started to look for Edward at once. However, I didn't see him anywhere. Isa and Kate were looking at me strangely.

"He sorta left you stranded…" White stated sympathetically.

Then we heard a horn. There was a real-killer black Porsche on our school parking lot. The car's streamline bodywork was glinting with novelty. I fell in love with it from the first sight. A darkened pane fell open automatically and Edward motioned to me from the inside.

I took a look at the girls. Their mouths fell open. I smiled with satisfaction. "So, see ya!" I said sarcastically and got in the car.

The inside of it looked just as good as the outside. Creamy leather on seats and upholstery were lighting up the inside. The car was equipped with automatic gearbox and a lot of other cool things which names I didn't know.

Edward smiled as he saw my face. "You like it, huh? You'll see how fast this beauty can go right away."

He pulled away with a screech and in the blink of an eye he was rushing down the street with an ultimate speed. I had my heart in my mouth. What a wonderful feeling! When I peeped at the boy I saw that he was looking at me instead of the road. It disconcerted me a little. He held his hand out to me.

"May I?" he asked with a smile, though I knew he wouldn't really mind my answer.

I knew he wanted to see my memories. I gave him my hand. He closed his eyes, probably wanting to concentrate on pictures in his head better. He burst out laughing after a while. "It's more fun than I thought. Their facial expressions were priceless."

Though I was sure he had ended his 'memory roundup', he didn't let go of my hand. He squeezed it tighter instead. His hand was extremely cold. I took a look on his face. He was staring at me in meditation.

"You really think I'm handsome?" He asked with real curiosity.

I felt I was blushing. I quickly turned my face away, but I was sure he noticed. "I think it's obvious as you're a vampire." I answered.

"Right, you're 'a vamp' after all." He chuckled.

I blushed even more. "That's not quite what I meant." I mumbled.

He laughed loudly. We weren't saying anything for a while.

"Where are we going?" I asked finally.

"To buy you a jacket." He stated as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. And before I could look back, we were stopping in front of the most expensive shop in the town.

"I can't afford a jacket from this shop." I frowned. He should know.

He raised his eyes. "Maybe you can't, but I can."

I looked daggers at him. Did he completely lose his mind? He wanted to buy his future meal clothes like they have in Hollywood?

"And what would I tell my parents?" I snarled. "Mom, a vampire bought me a jacket that cost a thousand. Don't worry; you don't need to give it back. He wants my blood as payment."

Edward snorted. "You'll tell her what you always tell her when you buy something with the money you've taken from her." I heard reproach in his voice. "You can always lower the price anyway. I don't think your mom visits these kind of shops, so she surely wouldn't notice."

I sighed, resigned. I had no more arguments left. "Why are you doing this?"

I surprised him with this question. He reconsidered for a while. Finally, he shrugged. "Just a whim." He stated and got off the car. He opened the door on my side gentlemanly.

Finally, after over an hour, we left the shop with an elegant coat. It would probably last longer but Edward retreated when he saw I was getting pissed off. He had been turning his nose up at everything a saleswoman had been showing us. He had found those coats 'too long, too elegant and not matching my dark eyes'. Finally, we succeed in reaching a compromise. The owner of the shop sighed with relief as we were leaving. The worst thing was that the vampire persisted in buying me a matching cap and scarf. And shoes. And earrings. And gloves. So we went back to the car with too many additional packages.

"Dammit." I swore. "Mom's gonna kill me."

The vampire smiled wide. "She better not try." He bent over me suddenly. "You're my prey…" He whispered in my ear sweetly.

As I arrived home, I miraculously managed to convince my mother about 'the bargain price' and 'money kept for a rainy day'. When, after a solid hour of picturesque lies, I went back to my room, Edward wasn't there. I came to a conclusion that he grew wiser and wouldn't 'observe' me that night. I set about doing my homework with relief.


	3. 18th October: Thursday

**18.10 Thursday**

When I was rushing to the bus stop, the sight of the black Porsche parked in front of the gateway surprised me. Edward was grinning light-heartedly from the inside of it. He motioned to me to come up to him. I got in the car obediently.

"Good mornin'! How was your sleep?" He greeted me cheerfully.

"You're gonna pick me up to and from school every day?" I asked, ignoring his interest in my sleep.

"Do you mind?" He didn't sound like he really cared.

"My parents will finally get interested in the owner of the black sport car, who picks up their daughter."

"It's obvious." I saw amusement in his eyes.

"And I don't know what to tell them if they ask. I know nothing about you. I mean, I don't know the official version. Or perhaps I hafta tell them the truth...?"

He looked at me carefully, surely evaluating if I could do that. "My name's Edward Favors, I'm 20. I'm doing a degree in English at a local university."

"And how long have you been 20?" I now got interested.

He grinned. "A while." He answered quoting bookish Edward.

We arrived at the school. I was going to get out of the car, but he stopped me, grabbing my hand.

"I'm taking you to 'the Sweetshop from Maple-street' after your classes. I didn't have enough time to learn anything about you, though I've promised."

I looked at him skeptically. I saw real curiosity in his ruby eyes. Was he really interested in his meal-to-be?

Meditations about the vampire's motivations took over me through all my morning lessons. I managed to avoid the girls for a couple of breaks, but they finally caught me in the hallway.

"How was your date?" Isa winked at me knowingly.

"Goody." I answered outdistanced. I had to be on my guard not to spill the beans too much. I often don't think about the consequences before I opened my mouth. It makes my life so much more difficult.

"Could you be a little more precise? What were you two doin'?"

"We were buying a coat." I could tell them that much.

My two friends seemed disappointed. However, they quickly found another topic to discuss.

"What is he like?" Kat got interested.

"Handsome." I didn't know whether Isa answered the question instead of me or simply stated her own opinion.

That was not the word for it! Even 'exceptionally handsome' wouldn't fully express his charm. I didn't say it aloud of course, not only because of my sensation-seeking friends. I thanked fortune that 'my' Edward couldn't read minds like the bookish one. However, the girls had to read something from my face 'cause they giggled.

"So…" Isa started carefully. "What are your plans with him?"

"Plans?" I tried to concentrate on the talk but the vision of the vampire's angelic face made it effectively impossible.

Isa rolled her eyes with disapproval. "Plans, plans. Are you already together?"

I snorted. "Yeah, sure, after 3 days of knowing each other." My voice was full of sarcasm.

"You have to do your best then."

I shrugged. "As far as I know it's the guy's job to try to fawn upon a girl. I've never seen a girl ask a guy to go out."

The girls became gloomy as they saw my lack of interest. Ha! They surely hoped for acting as matchmakers! They may not count on that! Also because 'the candidate' was going to take my life in the not-too-distant future.

"But just take a look. He has a car…" White started to enumerate; she hoped she would talk some sense into me with reasonable arguments "Long hair, gorgeous smile, eyes… And he's probably rich as hell. It's exactly like your ideal guy!"

_Oh, if you knew how right you are…_I thought.

"Then what's the matter?" She looked at me strangely.

Dammit! Did I say it aloud?!

Fortunately, the bell rang this instant, rescuing me from making up a credible lie. I was sitting next to Moniq during a History lesson; she thankfully wasn't acquainted with my private life. As soon as the favorable bell, telling the end of my lessons, rang again, I scrambled off my chair and reached the door first. Irritated glances of the History teacher and my two friends were following me. I took it easy, put on my coat in a blink of an eye and sprang out of the school. Edward was already waiting for me in his car. He was smiling encouragingly and leaning nonchalantly on the open pane. I took a deep breath and moved towards him feeling troubles in the air.

"Hello!" Edward greeted me as I got in the car. "How are things?"

"Hi." I growled.

He looked at me questionably. I held out my hand without a word. _Come what may, I don't care anymore!_ The vampire closed his eyes watching my memories. His face stiffened. Why do I always have to be right? He let go of my hand rapidly as if it burnt him. I was looking at my knees. I felt like a kid who received a note for a fight with a classmate, and is going to be punished by a parent. We were driving in silence for some time. I didn't have the courage to say anything, or even look at his face to check if he's mad. Finally, he sighed.

"I guarantee that I'm less of your ideal guy than you think." I couldn't read anything from his voice.

I felt my cheeks getting red._ You're telling me that, and so what?_ I thought._ I still see it differently._ For the first time, I met someone exactly like my artistically inflated vision. I was simply fascinated; at least I hoped so. _It will pass._ I was explaining to myself. I was a sworn feminist after all, I couldn't fall in love. Especially not with my torturer-to-be.

Wait a sec; it was him, after all, who had told me that if I wanted my life to be more interesting, I should leave all my standards and feminism alone! I looked at him courageously. He surely saw something in my face expression because he became sulky again. He looked at the road.

"It's starting to get out of control…" He muttered so quietly I wasn't sure I heard him well.

Suddenly, he stopped the car. I looked through the window. We were below my apartment building.

"You said we'd go…"

"But we won't!" He snarled and then sighted. "Go now. Your mom's waiting." He said in calmer voice.

I went home, sullen. When I looked up at my window I saw mom's face. _So I got what I deserved_. I thought, thinking of my mother as well as Edward. As I entered my apartment mom was already standing in a hall with a menacing face.

"Whose car was that?" She asked suspiciously.

I looked daggers at her. "That's none of your business." I growled, knowing that I was only making my situation worse. I didn't mind any more.

"It's exactly my business! It's some boy, right?!"

"If you already know, why are you asking?" I touched my temple; I was starting to have a headache. I moved towards my room.

"Wait here, young lady!" Mother stopped me. "I think we need to talk!"

I looked at her with disapproval. "If you're gonna have that 'talk' with me, then you should know school has already done it."

She snorted impatiently. "Who's that boy?"

"Edward Favors, 20 years old. He's doing a degree in English at our local university." I recited obediently the formula Edward told me in the morning. Mom was slightly surprised with my sincere and consistent answer.

"How long have you known each other?" She asked, calmer.

I shrugged. "Some time." She looked at me skeptically. "I dunno, I didn't count." If only she knew it was less than three days she would surely get mad.

"If you fail school because of him…"

I rolled my eyes. Always the same. "Mom, calm down! I'll cope with it."

Thankfully, she didn't order me to describe him in detail like my friends had done. If she did I'd surely get nuts.

**A/N: ****I don't know if "my" Edward's quotes of Edward Cullen are right 'cause I've only read Polish version of "Twilight". It's like I'm translating English text, which was translated into Polish, back into English. ; So if it's different from the original, let me know.**

**See the site of my home town, where it all happens: ****www.siedlce.pl/english/index.php**


	4. 19th October: Friday

**19.10 Friday**

I thought I wouldn't see Edward in the morning, but when I went out of the house, I saw a familiar car beside the gateway. My heart jumped; he wasn't mad at me yet. Or he was there only to tell me that he would leave me alone? Killing me here and now was out of question. I still didn't feel the death.

Not knowing whether I should be glad or frightened I got in the car. Edward didn't even greet me, and he pulled away at once. His face didn't show any feelings. I was watching him, waiting for him to finally say something, but I miscalculated; he was as silent as a statue. And he looked like a statue; only his hands gently moving on the steering wheel were showing he was still alive. Alive? Could I use this word to describe a vampire's existence?

Before I realized it, we were parking in front of my school. I was going to get out disappointed, when Edward grabbed my hand.

"We need to talk." He said in a blank voice.

"Now? I'll be late for school." My voice was trembling, I didn't know why, though.

He nodded with understanding. "Then I'll fulfill my promise from yesterday and take you to 'the Maple-street's after your classes." He let go of my hand. "And I'm sorry for causing you troubles."

I understood he meant my mother and shrugged. We used to argue all the time. At least we had a reason, other than the mess in my room and bad marks, now. How much variety Edward had brought to my life!

"See you later." He smiled, but it didn't reach his eyes.

When I was sitting in my classrooms, I wasn't thinking about what the teachers were saying at all. I reproached myself that I hadn't let him say what he wanted to say. He would have disappeared from my life faster than I could have blinked and I could have returned to my old everyday routine. And now I had to delude myself for the next few hours. However, I could give anything just to prolong this exceptional situation for at least few minutes. Seeing my desperate state the girls didn't accost me even once. They let me look at all versions of my future appointment in 'the Maple-street's' and plan my talk in peace.

This time Edward was waiting for me on a bench in front of the school. He was brightening fall landscape with his presence. All girls were looking back at him – the Geography teacher tripped over her own feet from the strong impression. He looked like an angel who had accidentally fell from the sky to this earthly existence.

The Angel of Death.

This association came so suddenly I nearly sat down in a surprise. Why hadn't I hit on this earlier? My Angel of Death. His kiss heralds the death. And I'd already received one…

Edward saw me and sent me a smile, also this time not reaching his eyes. He stood up when I came to him and we both went to the car. We were driving in silence for some time. I was so sulky I didn't even notice when the landscape started to change – housing was replaced by thick-growing trees. When I realized that I got frightened. I had a strange feeling.

"Edward, where are we going?" he surely heard panic in my voice. "We were going to eat at 'the Maple-street's'…"

Rapidly, the car stopped on some forest alley. Edward looked at me; his eyes were almost completely black. He leaned over me rapidly. I felt his cold breath on my neck. My heart was throbbing from fear. Few days ago I would have probably been happy about this turn of things. But not now. _Please, not now!_ I was begging in my mind. _I don't wanna die yet, not now, when I finally started to live, not only exist!" _His cold lips touched my skin. I closed my eyes tight with fear. I remembered an excerpt from "Das groβe Buch der Engel" describing the Angel of Death. 'His kiss brings the death. Then the soul is released and can hover with the angel.' Was it the death kiss already? _I wonder what will happen to me after my death._ I thought. And in that moment I reproached myself that I hadn't read all those esoteric books more carefully. There should have been something about this.

Suddenly, I heard a silent curse. I opened my eyes in shock. I was still sitting in the car. I didn't feel pain or blood, actually, I felt kinda comfortable. Edward was still leaning over my neck, he seemed irritated now though. I was alive.

"Damn it!" He swore louder, and drew back from me rapidly. He quickly stepped on the gas and pulled out on the main road. I noticed with relief that he was heading towards the city. His face was gloomy, and he was muttering something incomprehensible. I was keeping as quiet as a mouse not knowing how to act. He looked at me suddenly and smiled with satisfaction.

"You're afraid of me already, huh?" He mocked.

"No." I said proudly, though my voice was trembling.

He laughed loudly. After a while his laughter turned into a dull growl. He bared his sharp teeth. I stiffened; I knew exactly what it meant. I fastened my hand on the door-knob, ready to jump out at any time. I couldn't decide whether I prefer to die by smashing my head on asphalt, or be bitten by a vampire.

Edward stopped growling immediately, he looked at me menacingly instead. "Don't even try!" He said gloomily.

All of a sudden, I heard a voice of irresponsibility in my head: _What if I tried? _I wanted to see how he would react. However, did I have anything to lose? If death awaited me anyway…

I smiled at him slightly and pushed the knob. I had enough time to see shock on Edward's face; he probably hadn't expected me to be so brave or so stupid to do this. Then, I leaned back to fall through the open door.

Abruptly, I felt a jerk, the car jolted slightly and my head hit something. I thought it was the road so I was very surprised to see the vampire's sweatshirt in front of me as I opened my eyes. He was hugging me so tight I couldn't breathe.

"Are you mad?!" He shouted.

I glanced at him. His eyebrows were knitted, and his eyes were throwing lightening. He was angry. No, that's not the word for it; he was furious with me! I cowered inside.

"Have you completely lost your mind?! You wanted to kill yourself, or what?!"

"You know exactly what I wanted to do." I muttered weakly. The closeness of his cold body and his scent didn't let me concentrate.

He shook his head with incredulity. "You're crazy. They should keep you locked up."

I tried to release myself from his deadly embrace. I didn't have any chance to succeed; it was like trying to move a boulder.

"Why did you do that?" He asked gloomily.

I made an effort to shrug, but it didn't work out very much because of the lack of space. "Curiosity." I answered honestly.

"Like your suicide in primary school?" He was becoming more and more enraged.

I didn't answer.

"What were you curious about? How your brain would smear on the asphalt?!" Now he was shouting.

I started at the image of what he'd said. "You want to kill me anyway, so what's the difference how I will die?" I poured out what had been worrying me for some time.

Edward looked at me carefully and sighed. "Big difference. Huge. You won't die. Not yet."

"Why?" His self-confidence was annoying to me.

He was silent for some time. I saw sadness in his eyes. "Because I don't want this." He whispered, hardly audibly and turned his face away quickly. This confession surprised me, though I wasn't sure if I had heard him well. "Promise me you'll never do something like that again." He demanded categorically, looking deep into my eyes. I nodded enchanted by his glance. Just then he released me and stopped the car.

I looked through the window. On the other side of the street I saw shining windows of 'the Candy-shop from Maple-street'.

"As I promised." Edward said, as he saw astonishment on my face.

In 'the Maple-street's' there weren't many people. One couple occupied by each other, a few giggling teenagers and two women sipping coffee from little cups. We sat at the most remote-from-people place.

"As usual?" The vampire asked. I noticed that his insensitive mask was disappearing slowly.

I nodded. He came back with my favorite cake after a while. I slowly set about eating, waiting for him to say something. He was in a dither for a while. Finally, he sighed and looked at me. All indifference had disappeared from his face; it was troubled now.

"I've recently noticed that you're acting as if my appearing in your life was some kind of…" He was searching for a suitable word "Fate's gift." _Well said_ I agreed in my mind. "You can't think of this that way!" He hissed. "I'm going to kill you, don't forget it!" In view of what had happened in the car it seemed to be quite a strange statement. "The fact that it's… delayed a little doesn't mean I won't do it at all. And if you…" He took a deep breath as if the word didn't want to go through his throat. "If you… fall in love with me… you could raise illusory hope."

"What are you talking about?!" I denied energetically. "I couldn't fall in love…" In that moment the realization hit me; how much this, what I was saying, distorted the truth. I hadn't let this thought come to my mind yet, but what if…? It would explain everything. That I feel so comfortable around him. That I'm happy when I see him. My spontaneous statements. That I'm dreamy. My uncertainty. My strange reactions to his voice and touch. And most of all… longing for life, with him at my side. Dammit. Me, single forever, a feminist filled with stoicism? And yet, finally, it would reach everyone…

I didn't let him see what I was thinking about. Edward relaxed noticeably. He seemed to be satisfied with my answer.

"By the way" He smiled wide "it comes to my ears that you're having some trip soon…"

"Can't you just say you've seen it in my head?" I asked ironically.

He laughed cheerfully. "Can I come with you?"

He surprised me. I didn't think he would want to go on a trip with school crowd of the over-excited youth. "Well, I dunno." I admitted honestly. "You hafta ask Alice, she organizes all these things…"

"I'll ask her then." He seemed excited by the vision of the trip.

I looked at him suspiciously. "Why do you wanna join us?"

"For fun." He shrugged.

What kind of fun did he mean? Did he want to satisfy his desire for young blood by making a blood bath in a bus?

Seeing uncertainty on my face he smiled cheerfully. "If you ate we should go. Your mom will worry."

I looked at a clock and choked. It was already past six!

In the blink of an eye we arrived at the place. I entered my apartment out of breath; I had been running all the way up. Mom only bit her lips and said nothing. That night I fell asleep with a feeling that the following weeks would bring much good…

**A/N: Thanks for all reviews, favs and alerts! I'm glad you like this crap, especially considering it wasn't destinied for anyone to read at this point (when I was writing it at first).**

**Check out my profile for some pictures and info!**


	5. 2nd November: Friday

**2.11 Friday**

Next two weeks passed in routine, though this time was not tiring. In the mornings Edward was picking me up for school. Classes were extremely boring, so I was killing time sketching my vampire's face in manga style in each notebook. After school he was picking me up again and we were going to confectioner's to talk. It wasn't monotonous; each time it was another one. I hadn't known there were so many confectioners' places in our city.

Just as he promised, Edward was bombarding me with questions. He was asking me how I had felt in different moments of my life and what I was thinking. I didn't remember much but I tried to answer him as truly and precisely as I could. After some time I was getting irritated, what constantly evoked bursts of laughter. My mom was already used to the black car and its mysterious owner, whom she had never seen. That's what I had thought until one Friday morning.

I was preparing breakfast as she walked into the kitchen. She had just woken up and she was in her night gown still. She started to make herself a coffee.

"When will I finally meet your boyfriend?" She asked, as if she didn't really mind, but I heard reproach in her voice.

I frowned. "He's not my boyfriend, mom. We're only dating."

"Then it's high time for him to ask you to go out!" She was indignant. "You meet every day!"

I sighed while reaching into the fridge for a cucumber. Edward would be angry again as he would see this.

"Bring him here today." She announced categorically and simply left with her cup.

I was so surprised that I was still standing there with a cucumber in one hand and a knife in the other for some time. Finally, I recovered and returned to making sandwiches. Preparing for school took me longer this morning because I wanted to delay meeting Edward. It may seem strange, but he was getting very… unpleasant at times like this. He had a specific vision about our predator-prey relationship and wanted nothing to destroy it.

Again I was leading up to Edward's car like for a beheading, but I was completely wrong. When he saw my memories he just laughed at my reaction and then got lost in thoughts.

"Hmm… Maybe I really should… It's already over two weeks, it actually could seem a little strange…" He was muttering quietly to himself. Suddenly, he giggled. "And I will gladly see how your friends would react to the news." He looked at me strangely.

"So, we're a couple now, am I right?" I mumbled trying to hide my joy. It was totally not like him! Was he bi-polar or something?

He probably saw my happiness anyway and looked at me gloomily. "Don't forget about the promise!" He said.

That's what he called what I had said in 'the Maple-street's'. 'The promise'. Though I hadn't really promised anything. If I had, I would have broken it the next minute when I realized my true feelings. And since that time those feelings hadn't weakened at all.

"What about the trip?" I asked, also to change the subject.

He smiled wide. "Everything's settled. I'm going with you on Thursday."

I was pleased. Maybe during these few romantic hours in the theatre he would change his mind? I didn't count on that too much. Edward was really true to his word (and stubborn), but who knows… This hope was lifting my spirits.

In the school, the girls found me without my help to ask me about any news.

"We're a couple now." I announced trying to keep my voice calm.

"Dammit, girl!" Isa shouted with respect. "Such a handsome guy!"

I giggled. Someone standing behind me also giggled. It was Alice. "Yeah, he's fairly good. It's a pity you don't match him." She laid caustically and walked away roaring with laughter.

And then it shot me. Edward didn't want me to fall in love with him not only because I was to be his pray. He didn't see any chance to return my feelings. Because I was too ordinary. No, that's not the word for it. I was simply ugly. I weighed too much. I didn't wear makeup and fashionable clothes. However, it was better now with my weight. I was so occupied with thinking about Edward that I often forgot to eat. Trousers, which had fitted perfectly not very long ago, were now so loose I had to use a belt. It was consoling, but only slightly. I wasn't worthy of being loved by someone like Edward anyway. In this one moment all my hopes disappeared. Now all faces I saw seemed to grimace at me with mocking smiles.

I was so gloomy that when I got into the car after school Edward didn't even greet me. He just took my hand immediately. He snorted irritated after a while. "What impudence!" I guessed he meant Alice's comment. His outburst didn't make me feel better though. Suddenly, I felt his cold lips on my forehead. I stiffened.

"Take it easy." He whispered. "Don't let them throw you off your balance."

My heart jumped. _What am I gonna do? _I thought in panic. _What should I do when he's sending me such contradictory signals?! _

I tried to focus my attention on something else. "What are we gonna do today?" I asked.

The vampire looked at me strangely. "You're due to meet me with your mom… You forgot?"

It completely got out of my head because of all of this. I groaned and hid my face in my hands. Could this day be any worse?

"Calm down, it'll turn out all right." Edward comforted me by stroking my head. This gesture consoled me better than any word could do.

We left the car in front of the gateway and headed up the stairs. Mom seemed to be watching us through a window because as I opened the door, she was already waiting in the hallway. Edward was an embodiment of a true gentleman. He greeted her kissing the back of her hand. The old-fashioned gesture surprised her. She seemed to be struck by it. Then there was a dinner. I was a little worried about my mom complaining of my boyfriend's appetite but to my surprise he ate everything. I could only imagine how hard it was for him to eat human food. He was even politely chatting with my mother! I was becoming more and more confident, to be sure at the end, that she was charmed. She invited him for Saturday's dinner.

When Edward left I was alone with my gloomy thoughts. I went to the bathroom and looked into the mirror. Alice was right. I completely didn't match such an angel. I surely wasn't pretty, even as my complexion had became quite well (probably because of HIS presence. I was in better mood each time I saw him and this is said to improve beauty). My hair was living its own life so it was sticking in every direction. It couldn't decide whether it's straight or curly. I stood on the scales to kill myself with my weight. It wasn't so bad; to tell the truth it was much better. I was consoling myself. However, the anxiety remained.


	6. 15th November: Thursday

**15.11 Thursday**

Finally, Thursday came; the day of the trip. It was cold outside and it would be even colder in Majdanek where we were going. However, it didn't dampen my enthusiasm. I was going to show everyone, especially Alice, how much I matched Edward.

I wore a warm polar sweater but I found it too ugly so I replaced it with a little cooler black one. I made my eyelashes up (what I'd been doing scrupulously for some time) and put on earrings. Instead of the warm coat from Edward, I wore a short, but also warm, (as I thought) jacket. I had a scarf on my neck, but I resigned from a cap; it might ruin my hair that was arranged with great difficulty (I finally managed to straighten it).

Prepared like that, I daringly met my boyfriend, who was waiting for me in the car.

"You look nice." He complimented me as I had sat down. I looked through the window not to let him see a smirk of satisfaction on my face.

We arrived at the place of the meeting perfectly on time. Edward left his car in the parking lot in front of the school; we were going to be back in the night and he promised my mom to get me back home. As we made our way to my classmates, the bus had been already checked by the police and ready for us to get on. We had to sit in the front of the bus because of my occasional and capricious travel sickness. While in our drive we didn't talk much. We shared a pair of earphones listening to music, humming our favorite songs from time to time. The music was what we both loved most.

The driver had turned the heating on so it was getting hotter. I relaxed. I was just falling asleep when I heard Edward groan hardly. I peeked at him. His eyes were dark from thirst, though he apparently had been hunting tonight. "What's wrong?" I asked, worried.

He looked at me and smiled weakly. "In high temperature your scent is more intensive."

I hadn't thought about that. "Should I change my seat? Is it very hard for you?" I asked, concerned.

He snorted. "At such moment you're thinking about me instead of yourself. You're incredible!"

I ignored the sarcasm in his voice. "Should I change my seat?" I repeated.

He shook his head with a smirk. "I can handle it. I should get used to this. Luckily, we didn't sit in the back; it's far hotter back there now."

For the rest of our drive I was peeking at him worriedly from time to time. Slowly, his eyes were brightening. He managed to regain control.

Finally, we arrived at Majdanek. As we went off, I regretted my decision to dress pretty not warm at once. It was cold as hell and the frosty wind was blowing mercilessly. I shuddered. It was Edward this time that peeked worriedly at me. "You okay?" He asked.

"Sure." I answered courageously. I had to show I was worth him, didn't I?

However, the longer we were walking the more I regretted it. I started to get a runny nose. Thankfully, I had a pack of tissues with me, so I could blow my nose discreetly when I thought Edward wasn't looking. Then the shivering started, and I finally lost my voice. By the time we got to the bus I was pretty sure I would pay for this journey with the flu. And because all of this, I hadn't been paying attention to what the guide had been saying at all.

Edward no longer pretended not to notice my illness. He asked the driver if we could stay in the warm bus while the rest of our group would be visiting the castle and the Old Town. He even bought me a warming cup of coffee with rum in the shopping center.

"And what was all this for?" He was shaking his head with disapproval.

In the theatre I barely watched the play. My eyes stung and it wasn't because of my illness. I could hardly restrain tears of bitterness. I met a total defeat. Not only didn't I prove my value but I also made myself look like the very picture of misery because of my own stupidity. However, I tried to get through my anguish with pride. I wasn't going to involuntarily burst into tears and completely waste all my efforts.

On our way back, I didn't notice Edward had any problems with thirst, though it was much hotter (what I subconsciously greeted with gratitude). I thought he was controlling himself that well. I was going to praise him when he suddenly wrinkled his nose. "You smell strangely." He stated pensively.

"Strangely?"

"Somewhat… different."

I didn't ask more. I began to look out of the window instead. It was dark outside and trees were 'moving' fast in front of my eyes. Before I realized, I was sleeping like a child. A cool touch on my cheek woke me up; it was Edward's hand. It turned out that I had been sleeping with my head resting on his shoulder.

"We're almost there." He informed me.

All of a sudden, he frowned and touched my forehead with his palm. It was as cold as ice. "You have a fever!" He hissed. I wondered how he could tell, while he was so cold.

As we arrived, he quickly got me in the car. He drove me home peeking at me worriedly every now and then.

"Take some medicine and go to sleep. Heal until tomorrow!" He shouted at me as I got out.

As I reached my room I collapsed on my bed, not thinking about his recommendation. I partly fulfilled it though; as soon as my head touched the pillow, I fell asleep.

**A/N: So they went to the trip finally. It may not be so interesting but it leads to some consequences... In the next chapter. ;)**

**Wanna some info about Majdanek? **www.majdanek.pl/?lng1

**Now click the 'Go' button below. :)**


	7. 16th November: Friday

**16.11 Friday**

When my alarm rang, I switched it off thoughtlessly. I groaned and nestled my face in the pillow. I didn't completely have the strength to get up yet. I had a headache, a sore throat, a stomach ache, chills and a runny nose. I felt awful. So I just laid there and waited for unconsciousness to come. After a half hour, my mom peeked to check why I wasn't out yet. As she saw me, she didn't say anything. She just went off and came back after a while with a plate of medicines in her hand.

"You stay at home," She told me, as she was leaving for work.

I was glad she didn't get me to go to school. Knowing her, I would have thought she would, caring only about my education. I started to relax, when I heard my favorite song ring in my phone. I checked the display. I didn't know the number. After a while of hesitation I answered.

"Yeah?" Even this short word barely went through my sick throat.

I heard a silent curse on the other side. "I'm on my way," The voice I adored so much told and then the angelic owner hung up.

I was frightened. He was coming here. Could he see me in this condition? No way! I tried to get up but my head spun and I collapsed back on my bed. I felt cold shivers run through my body and I hid in the covers, curling into a ball. I wasn't strong enough yet. I could only hope Edward wouldn't mind my look so much.

Five minutes later, he walked into my room. "I'm sorry that I'm late. There was a traffic jam in the centre," He excused himself for who knew what. He still moved up faster than any normal human could. I only waved my hand carelessly. My throat was burning and I couldn't talk. He came near me and looked at me with worry. "How are you?"

"Awful," I croaked and I instantly started to curse myself in my mind. It was better not to say anything. I was only losing the rest of my dignity this way.

Edward shook his head with disappointment and started to mutter something so quietly and quickly I couldn't understand. I only managed to hear something that sounded like 'fashion revue'. I became sulky. He covered me up with a blanket he found on the bottom of my cupboard. He gave me all medicines and sat on the bed beside me. "Sleep now," He ordered gently. Even without his encouragement I was so sleepy my eyes were trying to shut on their own. I was fighting this feeling for a while not wanting to lose the sight of my angel, but finally the sleep won. I was only able to feel something cold touching my head before I fell into a dreamless sleep.

The rest regained my strength. I felt much better as I awoke. However, I wanted to just lay here a little longer, thinking of nothing. Not opening my eyes, I tried to roll over to a better position when that something cold, which was still touching my forehead, stirred.

"Don't move," Edward muttered. Then I realized that the 'something cold' was his hand. He was making compresses with his own palm!

I opened my eyes and looked at him. I saw a little smirk on his face.

"How are you?" He asked caringly.

"Better," I said proudly. But surprisingly, that statement didn't distort the truth. I could talk again, though my throat was still a little sore. My headache and stomach ache had passed, so had the chills. To tell the truth, I felt quite well. However, I knew it wasn't over yet. Knowing that it would not help, I tried to stand up, but Edward's hand stopped me.

"Don't overdo it." He said in severe voice.

"I feel well already," I tried to convince him of my recent discovery. He just smirked mockingly and pulled me back with one swift motion. He pinned my arms to the bed, leaned over me and gently kissed my forehead. My heart jumped.

"Don't make me tie you down." He muttered with a crooked smile. He stroked my cheek with his palm… and drew away rapidly as if burned. I heard him swear quietly. "I better go now," He growled gloomily while standing up. "Don't get out of your bed!"

"No!" I couldn't resist and screamed. I sat on the bed. I knew I would feel ashamed at my outburst when I felt better, but at the time I was too ill to care. I wanted to have him with me then.

He smiled sadly. "You're overestimating my self-control," He quoted bookish Edward again.

"Don't lie! Your eyes are bright. By the way, you've told me earlier that I smell differently now. It's because of this illness." I knew I was right and he had to admit it!

He sighed, resigned. "You're too intelligent," He whispered, but returned to my bed. However, he didn't lie me down. He moved his cold finger through my face, from temple to chin. I shuddered at his touch, especially while the temperature difference was higher than usual.

"I should have killed you at once… I would have avoided many troubles…" He whispered and leaned over me. His hand held my chin.

I froze. I knew what he wanted to do but I wasn't sure if I wanted this. On the one hand, it was what I had been waiting for all the time; some interest from him, acceptance. What if he was finally giving in to the feelings? It sounded impossible when I thought about what he'd said so many times and about my not-very-attractive appearance. However, recently I'd put the word 'impossible' out of my personal dictionary. And I really wanted to believe. But on the other hand… 'His kiss brings the death'… Was it going to be that final one...? He'd told me million times he only wanted to kill me. It was only a game for him.

"No!" I shouted breaking free from his hand. My fear turned out to be stronger.

Edward froze, surprised by my reaction. I saw sadness in his eyes. "I'm sorry," He whispered. What on Earth was he sorry for?! He stood again to go away.

"Wait!" I called him pleadingly. I had to explain everything to him. I couldn't let him just go! I just wanted him to wait a little… "I… just…"

He stopped with his hand on a knob. He looked at me carefully. I took a deep breath. "I don't wanna die yet…" I whispered weakly with tears in my eyes. I bit my lip. I hadn't wanted it to come out like that. I thought I would be stronger.

The vampire looked surprised. "Why do you suspect I wanted to kill you?"

"Because…" I couldn't express myself. I looked pleadingly at 'Das groβe Buch der Engel' standing on the shelf as if it could jump out of there and explain everything.

Edward also looked at it. Knowing my memories, he caught on to what I was driving at easily. He snorted. "Don't be ridiculous! I'm not the Angel of Death!" He told me off.

I bowed my head so he couldn't see my expression. _For me you are…_ I thought. I felt him move and as I looked up, he was already beside me. I saw amusement in his eyes and some feeling I had never seen there before. He got hold of my face so I would look at him. My heart made a restless somersault.

"Silly girl," He said strangely. "That's exactly the problem! I can't kill you. I don't want to." He stroked my cheek and sighed. "I'm pitiful. Worse than Cullen."

Hundred of questions came to my head. But most of them were connected with one word: why? Why didn't he want to kill me? Why did he hold so much worry in his eyes? Why was he acting so strangely, as if he cared for me? Why did he think he was pitiful? Why...?

Suddenly, he leaned down and his lips touched mine, cutting all my thoughts off. My heart sank. I didn't dare even move. This kiss was gentler than the first he gave me and so… tender. Yeah, this was the unknown feeling I saw in his eyes. Tenderness.

When he broke the kiss, he pulled me tightly to him. "It's all because of you…" He murmured in my hair.

I hadn't ever felt anything like that; my breathing quickened, and my heart was throbbing in my chest. His touch was burning, though he was so cold. Without thinking I clung to him as if it was our last meeting. I never ever wanted to move from there…

All of a sudden, he stiffened and cursed, and then disappeared. I nearly fell on my face. "Edward?" I asked the space in panic.

"I'm not going anywhere," I heard his whisper. "But your mom may not like it…"

I heard the front door open and a rasp in the hallway. After a while, my mother opened the door slightly and peeked into my room. "What's up?" She asked, seeing I wasn't asleep. "How do you feel?"

"Better," I spoke truly. I surprisingly wanted to get out of bed as soon as possible.

"Go to sleep. It's good when you're ill. Have you eaten anything?"

"No. I'm not hungry." I was so excited I didn't think I could swallow anything. Mother looked at me skeptically, but said nothing. She went off, shutting the door behind her.

Suddenly, two strong arms embraced me from behind. "Go to sleep," Edward murmured after my mom. In his lips it sounded like a part of some song.

"I don't want to."

He chuckled quietly. "Be a good girl. You have to heal."

"I feel well already." It was only partly true; my throat still ached and my head started to throb again but I was afraid to go to sleep. I was afraid that as soon as I awoke Edward wouldn't be with me, he would disappear like a beautiful dream. Or his change of attitude would appear as an illusion. He seemed to feel my uncertainty because he stroked my head tenderly.

"Don't worry, I'll be there all the time," His whisper calmed me. I didn't lie down, though. I leaned my back against his chest. I relaxed listening to his unneeded breathing and feeling him still stroking my hair. Before I noticed it, I was sleeping a deep sleep.

**A/N: So here are the consequences. Hope you like it. :D**

**I won't be updating for some time. ****BUT I may update sooner if I get A LOT OF reviews. :P**


	8. 17th November: Saturday

**17.11 Saturday**

I woke up but I didn't open my eyes, so I could remember my beautiful dream. What was it about? Oh, yeah, Edward who had seemed to feel the same way I was feeling. I sighed, comparing my dream vision to the real life. If it could be true…

_Wait, what if it WAS true?_ I opened my eyes rapidly and sat up in my bed. It was dark, so I couldn't see anything at first. As soon as my eyes adjusted to the dark, I saw the vampire sitting on the armchair, glorious as always. My heart twitched.

"What's up?" He smiled at me cheerfully. I was just opening my mouth to answer but he stopped me with a gesture. "Wait, I'll check by myself." In one moment he was beside me, leaning over my neck. He took a deep breath. "Yeah, the scent is becoming normal again," He muttered and unexpectedly pressed me to him. "So appetizing…"

He was holding me in his arms for some time. I was afraid to even say something not to disturb the moment. I even tried to breathe slower. Only my heart was too loud; its sound seemed to fill the whole room. I leaned my head against his shoulder breathing in his exceptional, sweet smell.

The sky behind the window was slowly brightening. Finally, Edward let me out and kissed my forehead. He stood up silently and went to the door.

"Don't go," I begged sounding like a whimsical child.

He chuckled quietly. "You're kinda whiney today," He smiled mischievously. "I'll be back. I'll go hunting, change and return to torment your mother a little with my presence," He joked. As he saw relief on my face, he added with laughter: "You have one hour to put yourself in order, you dying girl!" Then he disappeared behind the door. For a while I was wondering if I should take offence for this 'dying girl' comment, but I realized I wouldn't be able to keep my mouth shut for too long.

I peeked at the clock: it was 9 o'clock a.m. already. I didn't hear any noises from the rest of the apartment; it seemed that everyone was still asleep. It was strange, especially considering that my sister Caroline usually got up at about 7. I went out of my room, grabbing some clothes on my way. I peeked into my sister's room; she was lying on her bed and mumbling something incoherent while manipulating with her dolls. It was nothing unusual for my mom to sleep long while Carol was occupied like that.

I quickly tried to make myself look like a person. After I was done, I looked in the mirror. I didn't look as bad as for someone who was lying in bed with a fever all day. I was just analyzing my reflection when I heard a loud grumble. That strange noise was coming from my stomach. That was when I realized how hungry I was. I hadn't eaten anything for so long! I dashed to the refrigerator to prepare a nourishing meal for myself. I was rummaging about between shelves when my mom came.

"You look much better now," She judged my appearance. "In fact, you look quite healthy."

Instead of answering I sent her a critical look. "You better go dress up." She raised one eyebrow at me. I rolled my eyes. "Edward is probably going to visit me. We didn't see each other yesterday after all…" I twisted the facts just a little. Mother clearly cheered up. She liked him, it was easy to see. And I was very glad it was so. She cheerfully dashed to the bathroom.

I tidied my room biting my sandwiches. I was ready a great deal before the time. I sat on the couch and started to read a book. I wasn't completely able to concentrate, though. I caught myself on reading the same sentence several times. 'The Turks were more interested in the Balkans and conquest of Hungary than in conflict with Poland. They couldn't control plundering raids of their fiefs…' _I can't control my heartbeat when he's near me… _'They couldn't control plundering raids of their fiefs…" _I have an impression Edward plundered all my strong will and stoicism… _'…raids of their fiefs, Crimean Tatars, who were looting Polish lands and abducting the population…' _He's fairly the Tatar, who abducted my heart. _'The Turks were more interested in the Balkans and conquest of Hungary…' _I wonder if he's truly interested in me… Maybe it's only a trick to make me relax my vigilance? _

_Enough!_ I thought, throwing the book. I didn't completely have much of a head for learning history; too many questions and uncertainties were bothering me. I started to walk restlessly back and forth through my room. I peeked at the clock. Edward was late. It was unlike him. I just started to worry when I heard a doorbell. I sprang out of the room like a rocket and opened the door to see my angel standing behind it and smiling cheerfully at me.

"Your steps are softer than a butterfly's dance indeed…" He stated ironically.

I really felt like falling on his neck but I restrained myself. Mostly because of my mom standing behind me like the Shogun's spy.

"Don't stand in the doorway, you're making a draught!" She grumbled instead of greeting and disappeared in her room. She seemed to find herself not pretty enough for his seeing. I must admit I was feeling the same.

We went to my room; me first, then Edward behind me. I didn't hear the door close but after a while I felt his arms sneaking around me from behind in embrace.

"You missed me?" He whispered cheerfully in my ear.

My heart beat harder but I managed to calm myself. I had to ask a few important questions first. "It's some kind of trick, isn't it?"

"What trick?" He seemed surprised.

"How should I know?! Maybe you'll tell me?!" I exploded. "Maybe a ploy that would help you to kill me? Or maybe you just wanna have more fun?"

He turned me around so I would face him and he looked into my eyes. I proudly returned his glance. He looked a little irate.

"How many times should I repeat it to you yet?" He asked with reproach. "I don't feel like killing you now. Do you understand?! Not at all!"

It clashed with all the things he had been intensively persuading me as far as a few days earlier. I didn't hesitate to inform him about it. "But a few days ago you said…"

"It doesn't matter!" He interrupted. "I wasn't sure then. I didn't know what my feelings were. Or rather I didn't want to know. I tried to push them away from me, to protect myself… But I don't care anymore." He cupped my face in his both hands. "Now the only thing I care about is you."

It sounded so sincere but I couldn't believe it. I didn't want to. If he were to lie to me and then leave me I couldn't stand it.

"You don't believe me?" He asked sadly. I lowered my eyes and he sighed. "It's no wonder," He stated gloomily. "The monster that once said that he'll kill you, suddenly declare you his love! No one would believe it."

"You're not a monster!" I protested eagerly, not able to think of any other response. _For me you're an angel…_ I finished off in my head, not daring to say it aloud.

He smiled sadly. "Of course I am. I hunt people. I feed with their blood. I don't even need to do my best: my scent attracts them! Do you remember what Cullen had showed Bella in the round meadow?"

I nodded, I remembered it clearly. The bookish Edward showed his real strength and speed, without any inhibitions, to his beloved.

"Then you know what a monster I am…" 'My' Edward finished off quietly.

"The fact that you're stronger and faster than any normal human doesn't mean that you're a monster!" I showed my displeasure. "Just look at Superman!"

That worked. He burst into a loud laughter and shook his head in astonishment. "I've never heard someone comparing a vampire to Superman!"

I smiled with satisfaction. "See how exceptional I am?" I mocked.

"No doubt to that."

I sighed, resigned. It was time for the most painful part of the conversation. I freed my face from his hands and sat on the coach. He followed looking at me carefully.

'It's a pity you don't match him…' The words had never left my head since my talk with Alice. I knew it even too much. I wasn't worth him; I didn't deserve so much happiness.

"Edward, why do you do all this?"

"What 'all this'?"

"Well… everything." He looked at me questionably. "Oh, this… and that…" He rose one eyebrow up. I gulped. I completely couldn't express myself. Words, which I wanted to say, I hadn't ever used in a conversation. To tell the truth, I wasn't sure if I even knew how to say them. "Well…" I took a deep breath. "You hug me and k-kiss me… You're so… tender… Why?"

"What a stupid question! Because I love you!"

It was the second time I heard those words from a boy, but this time my reaction was much more different. My face turned red (which is not so easy to make), my heart beat faster. He had said it as if it was the most obvious thing in the world…

"But… someone like me?"

He cupped my face again. He looked at me carefully. He guessed what I meant. "For me, you're the most wonderful girl in the world," He said with determination.

My head spun. Did this world go crazy? It didn't make any sense! Oh, irony! The angel fell in love with a frog!

"You still don't believe me?" My angel asked sadly.

"But it's really hard to believe…" I mumbled.

He sighed. "I'll convince you, you'll see!" He warned me.

I couldn't wait to see it.

**A/N:** **People, I want rewievs! Now I have 32. I won't update until I have at least 40. I know I'm evil. :P Constructive criticism appreciated!**

**Everyone, who wait for next chaper to come, make a low bow towards my beta, EVForever! It's really astonishing she still has patience to edit this. It must be annoying to correct such stupid mistakes... And I have to say it probably won't be better... :P So, yeah... Great thanks!**

**Maybe I'll update next chapter this week. But I won't be home next week, so you would have to wait a little for 10th chap. I'm going to a wedding of someone I don't even know personally... / **

**And now leave a piece of your mind for me. Just click the 'go' button below. :)**


	9. 19th November: Monday

**19.11 Monday**

I was already in my full strength. I was walking through the apartment in brisk steps singing quietly. Instead of walking down the stairs, I run. I was in hurry to see Edward. He was already waiting for me in the car, as usual. He gave me a peck on the cheek for a greeting.

"Is this a part of your plan of convincing me?" I asked suspiciously.

"You can say. Why? Not convincing enough?"

"You can say."

He smiled strangely. "Maybe this would convince you," He muttered and crushed my lips with his. As soon as he finished, my pulse was increased and my breath accelerated.

"Well, it's better now," I gasped.

He laughed huskily and kissed me again, this time gently. If every morning with him was going to look like that, I didn't mind if I matched him or not.

"What are we gonna do today?" He asked finally.

"What about Dolce Vita?" It was a confectioner's I liked very much; they had very good coffee.

The vampire looked at me surprised. "You still want to answer my questions?"

"Oh no, my dear," I smiled mischievously at him. "This time I'm asking and you're answering." In fact I knew hardly anything about him and he knew everything (and I mean EVERYTHING) about me. It was so not fair!

He chuckled but said nothing.

In school I was still cheerful. The girls noticed my change at once.

"What happened?" They caught me during a break wanting some sensations.

"Oh, nothing special," I threw my hand in. _Nothing besides that Edward claims that he loves me._

They were pushing me more and more but I was still obstinately refusing to testify.

"Come on, what's the matter?!" Isa got raged. "He asked for your hand or what?!"

"Very funny," I chafed, but in my mind I saw a very vivid image of this happening. Edward on his knee with a little box in his hands… _Stop it, stupid! _I chastised myself. _You're letting your imagination go too far! THIS will never happen!_ I pushed the images out of my head and returned to the conversation with some troubles.

"So what, he confessed his love to you?" White snorted. She probably wouldn't notice that she guessed right if I didn't make a stupid face trying to hide a smile. She rolled her eyes. "Big thing." She lost her interest.

That was easy for her to say; people told her this nearly every day. She had so many worshippers that they would make quite a big harem. But I was completely inexperienced in this area and I didn't know how to react. And what should I do with the fact, in general?

"And what do _you_ feel for him?" Kate suddenly spoke.

I shrugged; I didn't know what to call this feeling. Was it already love, or something else? Was I actually capable of love while I hadn't experienced it in my entire life?

"What do you feel when you're with him?" She investigated further.

I shrugged again. "I don't know how to name it. I feel a lot of things I haven't known so far."

Kate nodded in understanding. "It's love," She diagnosed.

"Are you sure?" I looked at her, unsure.

"Absolutely."

I didn't know if I should have trust in her competences. She had a boyfriend for the longest time of us three though… She should know this…

During all next lessons Kate was whispering to me questions about my feelings. I was dismissing her with semi-words; I wasn't sure if I felt like being analyzed.

"How do you feel when he's near?"

"Strange."

This was more or less the scheme of our talk. I tried not to get irritated, but it was hard to do. It seemed that it was very hard for Kate, too. Finally, she became angry.

"Unless you answer honestly we won't get to anything!" She shouted at me, causing the teacher to look strangely at us. I also looked daggers at her but I tried to answer sensibly to her next questions. I described in details how I reacted to his voice, his sight, how I felt when he touched me. It reminded me of Edward's "interrogations" we had some time ago.

"Have you kissed each other?" Kate asked one of the last questions (as she promised).

"A little."

"Did you like it?"

"It was hard not to."

"Why?"

"… I dunno…" I thought about it. I had used to think of the kiss as something disgusting, but now… My attitude to these kinds of gestures had changed a lot nowadays. But why? Was it because I loved him? Or he was just so good at this?

My friend was looking at my thoughtful face and nodding in understanding.

"So, what's the verdict?" I asked.

"You should know now." She giggled and walked away, waving goodbye.

I was standing on the school quad in consternation for a while. I was more confused than before "the psychological session"! A thing to remember: never go to psychologists. _Will I also make a fool of people like that when I become one?_ I thought, irritated.

I went to the car. Edward again greeted me with a peck, this time on my forehead. He hesitated and repeated it; this time it lasted longer. After a while he looked at me, smiling mischievously.

"Well, well. Do I really affect you that way?"

I cursed my stupidity in my head. During my conversation with Kate, I had completely forgotten about the vampire's unusual ability to read people's memories. By the way, he hadn't done it so openly for a long time. Again, I regretted my stupidity. Instead of answering, I turned my head away. However, Edward gripped my chin and forced me to look into his eyes.

"I guess I have to check it by myself…" He muttered and leant over me. He was slowly bringing his face nearer, his hand stroking my cheek. He kissed me gently, touching my neck with only tips of his fingers. My heart was throbbing. Suddenly, he entwined his fingers into my hair and pulled me closer to him. His other hand was fondling my back. He was crushing my lips, kissing more passionately than ever. I was starting to get light-headed. I involuntarily parted my lips. Edward took advantage of this and deepened the kiss. I wrapped my arms around his neck… and suddenly everything went black.

I woke up in his arms. My heart was pounding in my chest as if it wanted to break free. I was panting loudly, out of breath.

"Isabel?" His voice was worried. "You okay?"

"I'm sorry." I mumbled faintly. "I don't know how to breathe while kissing. To tell the truth, I completely forgot to…"

He chuckled. "So, it's this much…" He brushed my lips with his cold fingers. Then he kissed me shortly and leaned back to his seat. He switched the engine on. "It's a pity Kate didn't answer you; I would also gladly know your feelings." He was hiding his curiosity behind laughter.

We pulled up in front of the confectioner's. Before I could notice I was sitting in a warm inside with my favorite latte macchiato in front of me.

"So, what do you want to ask me about?" Edward started.

I reconsidered which of my long list of questions I should ask first. I decided on the easiest one.

"How old are you?"

"Eternally nineteen." He grinned.

I rolled my eyes. It was supposed to be the easiest question… I was sure he knew what I meant; he was only playing the fool. "Then, in other words, when were you born? In which year?" I rectified so he couldn't say something stupid again.

"1933."

"So, actually, you're now…" I started counting in my head. I was never good at Math.

"74 years old." He prompted, unflinchingly.

"You could be my grandpa." I stated. Though I knew he was old, it still surprised me.

"That bothers you?" He became sulky. Was he actually worrying that I would not want him?!

"Not much. Your soul still seems to belong to a teenager, rather than an old man, so…" I shrugged.

He clearly cheered up. I smiled at him.

"Tell me what you've been doing all this time, then." I suggested.

He got lost in thought. "There wasn't anything interesting, really. I've been traveling across Poland and hunting… I was even known as the Yeti for some time…"

I bulged my eyes at him. "Yeti? The Big Foot?" I haven't ever heard of Yeti from the Tatra Mountains. _It lives only in the Himalayas, how could they think that it's the Yeti HERE?! _

"Do you know any other?" Edward rolled his eyes. "It wasn't long ago, a few years in fact. I was hunting climbers then… And there was also Cracow where I was kidnapping female art students, 'til the local vampires drove me away… They said I was disclosing us too much… But no one saw me, so they shouldn't have made problems. I was traveling practically randomly. I was choosing a town haphazardly. And finally, I arrived at Siedlce… Here I met Cato, who has shown me the right way."

"Who's this Cato?"

"An old vampire, a kind of mentor. He's been living there for some time already. As I arrived, he gave me my name, and he taught me everything I should have known."

"He gave you a name?" I was surprised. I couldn't imagine being without a name. Especially Edward without a name, it seemed just strange. "You hadn't had one earlier?"

He smiled sadly. "I don't remember anything from my previous life, except on the day of my transformation." He sighed and started talking without my pressure. "All I know is that I lived in Olsztyn… On All Soul's Day I went with my friend to the cemetery at night. We wanted to call up the spirits of the dead." He laughed at the memory. "It turned out that this friend of mine was a vampire. You can imagine the rest." He smiled bitterly. Now I understood that he had been previously laughing at the irony of this: he had surely called up the dead. "I woke up after three days of agony at the same cemetery... Remembering nothing." He finished.

I instantly regretted forcing him to tell me his story; I could see it had taken a lot out of him to say it aloud. I laid my hand on his clenched fist in a consoling way. He smiled at me and covered my hand with his, then pulled it to his lips. We were sitting there for a while; I drank up my coffee. I didn't dare to go further with this topic, though I was dying to know everything. I was just too prying.

We went out in silence and got in the car.

"I'm sorry, I spoiled your evening." Edward mumbled finally.

"No, I am sorry. I shouldn't have touched this subject."

He shook his head with a smile. "No, not at all. I'm simply mad that I can't remember anything, no matter how hard I try."

I nodded in understanding. "I feel the same during my History tests."

He laughed resonantly. "You don't like your History teacher, do you?"

"Yeah, she bosses about in our school as if she was some ruler…" I ground my teeth with anger.

I started to complain on my teachers and before I could notice we arrived at my apartment building. We said goodbye to each other and I went home. However, all the time Edward's past was on my mind. I was wondering what his life had been like when he had been human. What had been his name (I couldn't imagine him with another name; the one he had seemed perfect to me). What his eyes had looked like. What had his parents been like? And if he had loved someone then. Even as I was falling asleep I couldn't stop imagining this 'other' Edward. A happy one, without sadness in his ruby eyes.

**A/N: People, you're great! ****I got 40 reviews the same day I updated the 8****th**** chapter! So, thanks to you all (and my beta EVForever of course ;)), you can enjoy this brand new chapter! :D**

**If you give me a lot of revievs (I want to reach at least 55 this time, but I wouldn't mind even 60 :P) I may update 10****th**** chapter 'til 30****th**** June (as a gift for you on my 18****th**** birthday ;)). Otherwise, the next chapter would not be until 13****th**** July. So do your best and leave me a long review! :D**

**For all of you, who like this story, I have a present... A wallpaper with Edward (made by me)! :D You can download it on my profile. ****I would like to know if someone will actually use it (and like it), so please leave me a review if you download it!**


	10. Surprise!

**Not good, not good.You haven't left me ****a ****sufficient number of reviews. But it's okay, 'cause I don't have a new chapter yet. :P**

**But I have something for you. Kinda surprise for my 18****th**** birthday. :P**

**You can say it's a cover for this story. **

**Go to my profile to see it (it's at the bottom). **

**Tell me what you think about it. :D**

**Also, you can still get the wallpaper with Edward on my profile ****in three sizes (1024x786, 800x600, 1280x800).**

**I may update next chapter this week but I'm not promising anything. Maybe some genereal reviews would help? ;) Oh, I know, tell me how would you want this story to end. :D Would you prefer ****a bad or good ending? You can write in details or just choose which concept do you prefer. I haven't decided on any ending yet. And of course you may add some comments on the cover and the wallpaper in your review. :)**


	11. 20th November: Tuesday

**20.11 Tuesday**

As I arrived at school I noticed there was a strange grim air there. I headed to a classroom where I had my first lesson trying to catch something that would explain the mood. I was listening carefully to quiet conversations around me. I didn't have very sensitive ears so I didn't hear much. However, what I heard intrigued me more.

"…she was as white as paper!..."

"…they say that there was no blood in her body…"

"…no fingerprints…"

"…it was a vampire!" Dominica squealed. I was already with my classmates.

"Don't be ridiculous! There's no such thing as vampires." Joanne snorted. I could hardly hide a smirk of knowledge that formed on my face. Little they knew about it, and certainly shouldn't have known.

"It's easy to say for you, you haven't seen this!" Domi showed her displeasure. "It definitely looked like the job of some 'supernatural forces'!"

It sounded like all of them had watched some incredible document or horror movie so far. However, something in their voices bothered me.

"What's going on?" I asked.

The girls didn't answer but pointed at the room 21. I looked in the direction and noticed it was fenced with a white-red police ribbon. Why hadn't I noticed the police's presence at school earlier? _I'm stuck in my own world…_

The door was slightly open. I walked closer and peeked through a chink. Inside, two policemen were leaning over something that was lying on the floor. Something… or someone? I looked closer cursing my short-sight. It took me a while to recognize the shape, but as soon as I did I covered my mouth with my hand in shock. It was my History teacher. Pale as paper, with a terrified grimace on her face, she was lying dead and arched in a strange pose, as if she had been trying to cover herself from something. On her neck was a wound which looked like it was made with very sharp teeth. But there was no trace of dried blood.

All of a sudden, a policeman appeared in front of me. He looked daggers at me and shut the door closed in front of my face, making me spring back with shock. I turned around to the girls.

"Did you see what happened?" I asked Dominica.

She shook her head. "When I came, she was already lying there. Horrible thing. Who could have done something like that?"

Today, all lessons were cancelled. We went away from school in grim moods. Though not many of us used to like that teacher, all of us felt sorry for her. No one wanted to admit it aloud, but we were overpowered by grave fear. The criminal had attacked, the monster. Moreover, he did it in the public place, in school. No one could feel safe anywhere. The murderer wasn't a normal person…

Isa's voice brought me to the Earth. "Oh, another idiot with a rose." She growled with dismay.

I looked around and saw that guy. He was standing beside one of the trees, near a curb, his back facing us. Suddenly, as if he felt our look, he turned around and my heart jumped. It was Edward. He looked so glorious with the red rose in his hands as he smiled happily at me…

"Oops!" White commented on her blunder. "Sorry, Isa."

But I didn't listen to her any more. I didn't even say goodbye; I walked quickly towards my angel. He pecked my cheek as a greeting and gave me the flower. There wasn't any important event this day; the gift was for no occasion. It was so nice of him… I put my nose into the rose; both the flower and my boyfriend smelled incredibly. We immediately got in the car.

"Do you like my gift?" Edward asked.

"It's lovely, thank you." I smiled inside the petals. "It smells wonderfully."

He smiled. "And the other one?"

"Other one?" I was surprised.

Abruptly, I associated the facts. The history teacher! Our conversation yesterday about her… And today her pale body lying on the floor… The mark of teeth on her neck… '…it was a vampire!' I heard Dominica's quiet voice in my head.

"It was you…" I whispered surprised with my discovery.

Edward grinned with satisfaction. However, I was anything but happy. "How could you?!" I shouted at him. He looked shocked at me. "Why have you done this?" I asked accusingly, but in calmer voice.

"You didn't like her, did you?" he muttered.

He'd done it only because of me! He had killed a person for me, as a gift. And it hadn't even been necessary! So I was partly responsible for my teacher's death. Hadn't he thought how would I feel with it?

"It didn't entitle you to take her life!" I growled. "I would never allow you to do such things!"

His face congealed suddenly. "You're not to tell me who I can kill and who not!" he screamed and hit the steering wheel so hard his fist got through it as if it was made of butter. The car jolted. Something hit the hood but Edward didn't stop the vehicle.

"What was that?" I asked, scared.

"Apparently, some idiot had a death wish." The vampire growled. He was looking straight forward at the road, but I was sure he wasn't really looking. His brow was furrowed, he looked extremely angry.

"You're not going to stop?" I was afraid about the life of the person we had hit.

The vampire snorted irritated but said nothing. I didn't insist so as not to irritate him more. It was the first time I saw him so furious; it was frightening me.

He immediately dropped me off at my apartment building and drew away without a goodbye. As I walked to my room no one said a word to me; it was good, otherwise I could leave some corpses. Anger and fear were churning inside of me. I reconsidered phoning Edward and clearing all things up, but finally my anger won over me. If I had phoned I would shout at him and it was the last thing to make the situation better. I sat offended in front of the TV. I was watching stupid programs all evening, only partly thinking about them. No one asked me why I wasn't in school.

**A/N: Ha! Finally, I'm updating a new chapter. You're happy like little kids, aren't you? ;P (changed quote taken from "Hellsing" manga, though I don't know if it looks the way I think in English version)**

**The idea of the teacher's death is my best friend's (White Isa :D). We dislike the teacher so much we killed her in this story. We little psychos... :P **

**There's a poll on my profile, please go and vote! ******** And also a new picture of Isabel and Edward.**

**And now... time for your reviews! :D**


	12. 21st November: Wednesday

**A/N: Why did I receive so ****few reviews? You haven't done your best this time! Remember, reviews motivate me to write more!**

**I'm going to Norway on Tuesday. Actually, it's a bus trip through Denmark, Sweden and Norway. Eight days, nearly all time in a bus... But I shouldn't complain, I don't pay for this. :D It's a gift from my gramdma for my 18th birthday. And she's going with me... I'm not really glad about that, but what can I do? The answer is: nothing. So I will just have to cope with it.**

**Anyway, while I'll be away, leave me some ****reviews, please. ****:)**** And don't forget to vote in my poll on my profile!**

**21.11 Wednesday**

Edward didn't pick me up in the morning. _Coward!_ I was insulting him in my head, though it was certainly what I expected of him after such an event. He was surely still angry at me. However, I didn't see my fault in this; in the end he was the one who had killed the teacher. And I was just trying to explain to him that this, what he'd done, was wrong. But apparently, he didn't want to understand; he wanted to stay bad and independent. To think about it, it was understandable…

I took a bus to the school; the first time for a month. _He was also with me then…_ I thought as I was sitting in the bus; and I reproved myself right away in my mind. In the school, however, my attention was held with something other than my grim thoughts about Edward. White Isa didn't come. It worried me a little so I decided to phone her during the break. Three signals, four…

Just as I decided to give up, someone picked up.

"Isa?" I asked happily.

"No, it's not Isa." A grim voice answered.

"I'm sorry." I was confused and a little suspicious. "Who is it then?"

"I'm her mother. Isa's in the hospital. A car hit her."

The news shocked me. I wasn't prepared for it at all. I was quiet for a while proceeding what I'd heard in my head.

"Well… how does she feel?" I asked finally.

"She's unconscious."

I didn't know what to say; my mind was like a blank sheet of paper.

"It's not so bad. She's only a little bruised." Isa's mom tried to comfort me, but she didn't seem to believe in her own words. Was it this bad or was she simply overreacting, like every mother?

"Do you know who has done this?" I asked. _If I get him in my hands…_

"No, he escaped. But the day I inquire about him would be the last day of his life with both legs, I swear!" the woman exploded.

I didn't say anything. I hung up without a goodbye, too engrossed in my thoughts, too terrified with my newest discovery. The day before, Edward had hit someone with his car and he hadn't stopped. That day, Isa was in hospital, hit by a car and the perpetrator escaped. Such a big coincidence wasn't possible. There wasn't a chance, it couldn't have been.

Huge anger started boiling in me. Maybe if Edward had stopped the car then, my best friend wouldn't have been unconscious now? Maybe everything would have ended better?

I took my things and got out of the school. I didn't want to stay there any longer; I was too restless. I couldn't concentrate on the lessons nor did I want to. Not caring where I was going, I headed straight on. I wasn't even looking at the road; a few times I heard screeches of wheels but I didn't care.

Before I could notice, I was near the lake. There wasn't anyone, probably because of the weather; the sky was clouded, and it looked like it was going to rain soon. I went on the sand and towards the water. Waves attacked my shoes. I looked at the surface, lost in thoughts.

He'd told me he'd loved me, but recently, he'd been doing things, that certainly hadn't proved it! Yes, I hadn't liked the history teacher, but I hadn't wanted her to die! And I had known I might have had someone worse than her. And now my best friend was in the hospital, unconscious, and it was again because of him! He didn't act like he cared! How could I believe that it wasn't a game when he did such opposite things?...

But it was also my fault. I shouldn't have irritated Edward in the car; it was dangerous, especially with his insane way of driving. I felt a slight pinch of guilt, which I thought had died a long time ago. I didn't know what to do. So many emotions were rushing through me: anger, guilt, sadness, loneliness… _Geez, I'm turning into some EMO! _I thought, panicked; it was the last thing I wanted to come out of all of this. I let the anger win over me.

_It's all because of him! All because of him!_ I repeated it in my head like a mantra. And it was right: when he hadn't been with me, my life had been deathly boring. HE was the cause of all changes; bad ones as well as good ones.

I gripped some stone and throw it angrily far away in the water.

"Edward, you moron!" I shouted, but my voice was drowned by the splash of the stone hitting the water surface.

_I was right choosing feminism. Men are simple pigs who care only about their own interests! They completely don't care about women's feelings!_ I was cursing men in my head, which started to hurt from the amount of feelings and thoughts. I needed to calm myself.

I headed towards a path that leaded around the lake. I put my headphones on and turned the music on loudly. My favorite song sounded. The voice, so similar to the one I loved most, sang 'What I've done'. _Exactly, Edward, what have you done?_ My eyes stung. I gritted my teeth to prevent tears from falling and switched to KoRn. Strangely, aggressive tones calmed me.

I was walking forward trying not to think of anything. The trees were painted yellow, orange and brown with leaves. The sky was slowly becoming heavier and finally first drops of rain fell. I looked at my wristwatch; it was already 2 p.m.! I couldn't believe I was there for so long! Willy-nilly, I dragged to my home. I arrived at the same time I would if I was in school, so my mom didn't notice I wasn't there. _This was the first time I played hooky. _I thought sadly as I locked myself up in my room. _I'm falling to rock bottom because of HIM._


	13. 22nd November: Thursday

**A/N: ****Yup, I'm finally back. :) After my trip I was at my grandma's, that's why it took so long. But I've got a new chapter for ya. I'm very tired after the two nights in the bus (I can't sleep in the bus) so cheer me up with some reviews. ;) **

**Tomorrow, I'm going to Hrubieszow, where my dad works. I won't be home for a week so you'll have to wait some time for the next chapter.**

**22.11 Thursday **

Again, Edward didn't come. I had had a faint hope this would be the day we would explain everything to each other, but it looked like it would be impossible. I wasn't going to phone him; in my opinion these kinds of things should be solved face to face. Maybe he didn't want to know me any more?

You may think I would be the one not wanting to meet him, but it was quite the opposite. No matter how angry I was at him I was still very in love with him. And even if he killed hundreds of people for my sake, I probably still would. I doubt I could escape this feeling now…

I went to school by bus. Engrossed in my grim thoughts, I nearly missed my stop. All my class was in front of the school. It surprised me; I didn't know about any trip.

"What's going on?" I asked as I came to them.

The girls looked strangely at me. "Don't you know? It's the History teacher's funeral today."

"I wasn't at school yesterday, I couldn't know." I reminded them. "Everyone from school is going there?"

"Of course not!" Joanne snorted. "There wouldn't be enough space for so many people. Our class was told to go."

I wondered why it was our class that was ordered to go to the funeral; we hadn't even been the History teacher's class. We went to the cemetery on foot. The funeral lasted exceptionally long. Many people wanted to say goodbye to the teacher for the last time with a formal speech; too many for my liking. Besides, these kind of ceremonies always used to bore me. When everybody was crying, I couldn't.

After the ceremony ended, my classmates went in some direction; they had had to plan it earlier. Before I knew it, we were in the hospital. _Isa!_ I thought. I overtook everyone and burst into the room as the first. What I saw froze me, though I had known what I should expect. However, Isa in a hospital… Somehow I couldn't have imagined that.

It was so common; a pale body lying under a starched quilt. A clean bandage on her head, hair spilling on a pillow from underneath it. A calm sleeping face, slightly scratched. A drip's pipe sticking from the bandaged hand. A common hospital picture, and I'd seen many people in hospital; even my mom and great-grandma. However, it was this sight that shocked me the most. I realized with great force that it was my fault that my best friend was lying there, unconscious. Sure, not only and not primarily, but this was enough.

Anger was becoming to overpower me again. Why had this happened? Why had I been bringing everyone bad luck? If I hadn't met Edward all this wouldn't have happened! Why hadn't he just killed me at once? Why had he got angry the day before yesterday? Why did he leave me alone a moment like that?

I felt tears coming to my eyes. I gritted my teeth. I had fairly enough of all of this! I saw Monique sitting on a chair in front of me. She was crying loudly like a small kid, lying on Isa's legs. Pissed off, I kicked her so hard that she fell of the chair. I went out of the room vigorously. The girls were stepping aside to make me space to pass by, terrified.

I wanted to run out of the hospital but I stopped as I saw Isa's ex-boyfriend next to the door. He was arguing with a woman who had to be White's mother. My anger grew bigger.

"What do you want here?!" I screamed at him not paying attention to nurses looking daggers at me. He was a bastard who had betrayed her; he didn't deserve to even lick her shoes clean!

Lukas turned around. He seemed to remember me because he looked pleadingly at me. "I want to see Isa." His voice was trembling.

"Isa's unconscious." I said with malice.

"I know but… I have to apologize to her. I didn't want to… It wouldn't leave me alone… I was driving too fast… I've just received my driving license…"

It took me a while to put this entire chaotic stammer together. And then it hit me. HE was the one who had damaged Isa, not Edward! I felt as if the ice that had been freezing my inside was melting. I was tottering slightly while exiting the building. Not thinking of what I was doing I went to my home by bus. My head was blank, only one thought were bouncing in my brain: _It wasn't Edward, it wasn't Edward._

I entered the apartment half-conscious. I peeked into the kitchen and suddenly anger was back. Edward was sitting beside the table as if nothing had happened! I ran to my room, slamming the door shut without a greeting. I turned around and froze from shock at what I saw in front of me. All inside was filled with red roses: they were on cabinets, on the desk, the coach, the floor… everywhere!

I rather felt than heard that Edward had entered the room. He laid his hands on my shoulders but didn't embrace me.

"I'm sorry." He said quietly. "You were right. I shouldn't have done that."

_It's a pity you realized it so late._ I thought with bitterness.

"Forgive me that I haven't come sooner." He continued. "But… I was afraid you'd reject me."

With this sentence he surprised me. I had thought he hadn't talked to me because he had been mad at me. And so it appeared that he had been thinking exactly the same! I turned around and looked at him; I saw sadness and regret in his eyes.

"And I'm sorry for my burst of anger. I have never been in situation like that before… But this doesn't excuse me. I shouldn't have reacted that way. I'm so sorry." He wasn't looking in my eyes but that was exactly why I knew he was telling the truth.

Anger, relief and joy were still fighting in my head. And finally, anger lost. I lifted my hand up and touched his cold cheek. He looked in my eyes.

"You're forgiven." I smiled at him and he smiled back. Because of this smile, because of these eyes, I couldn't be angry with him.

Gently, uneasily, he took me in his arms and hugged me. "I'm sorry." He whispered suddenly.

He had already apologized for everything he'd done so I guessed he'd read my memories. He felt sorry for me 'cause I worried for Isa. "It's okay." I said resting my head on his shoulder. "She'll pull through it." I was comforting me rather than him. He seemed to notice it because he hugged me tighter.

"Everything will be all right." He whispered in my hair.

We were standing like that for a while, enjoying our closeness and the calmness. But I knew this peacefulness had to end; my mom was coming back home soon.

"So now you have to clear my room of all these roses. Mom wouldn't be very happy to see this 'mess'." Finally, I stated light-heartedly.

Edward burst out with laughter. "Your wish is my command, princess." He said kissing my forehead.

Before I could notice (this vampire speed is very useful, isn't it?), all roses were picked in one huge bunch, which we finally managed to put into slightly-too-small vase. It stood in my room, which started to smell incredibly because of its presence. When Edward left I was just lying there, intoxicated with the scent.

**Review, please. :) And don't forget to vote in the poll on my profile.**


	14. 23rd November: Friday

**23.11. Friday**

As I was walking towards the bus stop, I didn't see Edward's car below the apartment building. This surprised me; we had explained everything to each other after all. _Maybe something has happened?_ I thought. I knew Edward was a vampire and I shouldn't be worried because there probably weren't many things that could really hurt him, but I was always thinking about the worst case scenario at times like this. But before I started to become REALLY worried, I heard a familiar voice calling my name. I turned around and saw my boyfriend leaning nonchalantly against a white Mercedes. I ran happily to him, instantly forgetting about my paranoia.

"You've got a new car!" I said examining the vehicle. It wasn't as exceptional as the Porsche but I liked it.

"The other one is being fixed." Edward explained. It surely had to be fixed; it didn't look so nice with broken steering wheel and a dent in the hood. _Poor pretty car, I contributed to its suffering_, I mourned its beauty as if it was a living thing.

We got into the car and pulled out.

"I want to visit Isa after my classes today." I declared uneasily after a moment of silence. I didn't feel very safe touching the subject connected with our argument in the car. Who knew how he would react this time?

To my great relief, he just smiled at me. "We'll visit her then."

I smiled back at him. I was glad he was going to be with me in the hospital this time. I wasn't sure if I could stand the sight again alone; his presence would calm me.

In school it appeared that I wasn't the only one who was worrying about Isa. Kate and Monique also wanted to see her.

"What about going together then?" I suggested. "And you could meet Edward by the way." During all this time they didn't have a chance to be charmed by my vampire. I almost felt bad for them. Almost.

Monique's eyes twinkled. "With great pleasure!" she squealed bouncing up and down with excitement. She looked like a mentally handicapped five-year-old.

"I can't today." Kate saddened. "Our group is finishing lessons earlier than yours."

I frowned. It wasn't a great pleasure to be accompanied by the weirdo. However, I had to lay it on the line now.

After our classes we went out together. I was doing my best not to let anyone figure out that she was with me. I was dodging in the crowd rushing out of this prison called the school. I noticed Edward and headed quickly toward him leaving Monique far behind. I stood on my tiptoes and pecked his cheek hoping he'd read my memories. My hopes seemed to come true because he chuckled.

The Dustbin Kid joined us after a while. I introduced them to each other; Edward shook her hand with reserve. He frowned, appealed, apparently seeing her memories. She didn't notice it; or didn't want to notice. We got in the car. I was filled with gratitude for the fact that Monique was sitting on backseat, so I didn't have to look at her.

There weren't many people beside Isa's room today; to tell the truth no one even noticed our presence. I entered the room first…

And stopped in half-step, shocked. White was conscious! She was watching some stupid game show on TV and giggling. She noticed me and smiled at me happily. Bandages were almost everywhere on her body but she didn't seem to feel very bad. She waved her hand cheerfully.

"You've woken up!" Monique squeaked in such a high voice I heard ringing in my ears and she bounced at Isa. Terror was mixed with disgust on White's face, matching my own expression. I heard Edward laughing quietly behind me.

"How are you?" I asked matter-of-factly.

"Better," she answered with a smile. A suspicious one. I looked around the room to find a reason of her state, and I didn't miscalculate. On a night table, I saw a red rose in a dirty glass.

"From whom?" I asked suspiciously pointing at the flower.

Isa, who was just greeting with Edward, giggled. "Lukas."

I was so shocked that I was just standing there, immobilized for a while. Finally, I let my anger free. "That bastard was here?! And you let him in?!" Did she want a repeat of the situation from nearly a year ago? I couldn't believe she forgave him so easily, after what he'd done.

"Don't jump into conclusions!" White was indignant.

I snorted. "That he's a nitwit not worth half a second of your attention is a fact stated scientifically! He's hurt you twice already!"

"He didn't want to do that, it was an accident!" she protested energetically.

"When he betrayed you last year, it was an accident too, huh?!"

Isa went crimson.

Edward suddenly grabbed my hand; I didn't even notice he was beside me. "You shouldn't irritate her," he muttered.

"I'm just trying to make her aware that she's making a great mistake forgiving that idiotic blindworm! How many times is she going to allow him to hurt her?!"

"Oh, so you consider there's some limit, right?" White broke in. "Like in this childlike game; you tempt three times and you drop out?"

"You simply act completely unreliably! But well, if you wanna believe in masochistic tendencies…" I shrugged theatrically.

There was an uncomfortable silence for a while. Isa was glaring at me with angry twinkles in her eyes. Monique was peeking uneasily at me and her, as if she was watching some table tennis game. I couldn't see Edward's face because he was standing a step behind me. However, he was squeezing my hand so hard it hurt.

"I only want to find my personal happiness finally." Isa said, drawling. "You're clever, because you've found yours. But if you think you can control me and tell me who I can date and who not, you're completely wrong!"

_What's with people thinking I'm controlling them recently__?! First Edward, now her… _This thought only added fuel to the flames.

"You don't know anything," I growled. "You have no idea what…"

"I know enough to live my life on my own!" she broke in.

I frowned. She jumped to conclusions again; that wasn't what I meant. I was just opening my mouth to explain it but she didn't let me do it.

"You're not my mother, Dammit!" she yelled. Suddenly, she threw a remote control at me; she could have hit if Edward didn't catch it. "Get outta here! And don't ya dare to get in my sight again!"

I boiled with rage. "As your highness wishes," I hissed sarcastically. I turned on my heels and walked out.

I didn't even look back until I was out of the hospital. I stopped there and leant against one of the pillars in the entrance. I sighed resting my head on a cold marble. It seemed it was not my lucky week. _Isa still don't believe in the power of my sub consciousness, but she'll learn her lesson!_ I thought bitterly.But to tell the truth I hoped with all my might for my feelings to be wrong this one time. I just wanted to save her from experiencing last year event all over again; or from something even worse. And because of my stupid caring self I lost a person important to me AGAIN. _Maybe I should stop being so caring?_

I felt Edward laying his hand on my arm comfortingly, but he said nothing. He moved toward the car and I followed, dragging myself there.

"What about Monique?" I asked as we sat in the car.

"She said she'd walk to the bus stop," he said lifelessly turning the engine on. His indifferent tone worried me.

"Are you mad at me?" I questioned him worriedly.

"No," he answered watching the road.

We were driving in silence for some time. Edward didn't look at me even once. I was sure he had lied about not being mad at me, but I had no idea what had irritated him so much. I didn't think he was on Isa's side so much. But what did I know? I didn't know her memories after all. However, I was afraid to ask him what was going on, as not to provoke another unpleasant situation; and another accident.

Before I could notice, we were parking beside my apartment building. Because of Edward's speeding, our car trips had always been short; too short for my liking. This time though, I was glad that we could interrupt the embarrassing silence.

"Will you come tomorrow?" I asked, hoping that he wasn't so mad to refuse.

"If you want me to…" His lifelessness was starting to frighten me.

"So see ya tomorrow." I smiled weakly and got out.

As I came home I couldn't concentrate on anything; I was still worrying about Edward's behavior. I was walking around the apartment trying to set to work, in vain. Finally, I sat in front of my laptop and started to draw with my tablet. I turned my messenger on. An announcement glimmered in the communicator. 'Cucamber is available'. My ex-boyfriend, Jacob. I shook my head with incredulity. Why hadn't I erased his number from my acquaintances here yet? It had already been two years since we talked, after all. Anyway, it didn't matter; he was the one who stopped speaking to me. And I hadn't had any reason to start a talk first.

I reached the pen to erase my ex-boyfriend's number. Suddenly, a conversation window appeared on the screen.

_CUCAMBER:_

_hello_

I blinked a few times, confused, but the window stubbornly didn't want to disappear.

_CUCAMBER:_

_u have some time?_

I froze with my hands over the keyboard, unsure. Suspicious, guesses and doubts were swirling in my head. What had happened to him that he decided to speak to me after so long? Did he have an eye to the main chance or did he suddenly remind himself of my existence? Or maybe he was still anxious for me?

_You won't know until you find out, _I thought to myself and typed an answer.

_ISABELLL:_

_a little_

I didn't have to wait long for his answer.

_CUCAMBER:_

_i wanted to apologize_

_ISABELLL:_

_what for? that you haven't said a word to me for over 2 years?_

_CUCAMBER:_

_yup. I'm sorry_

_ISABELLL:_

_you have any excuse?_

_CUCAMBER:_

_i can only blame irresponsibility :D_

_ISABELLL:_

_and what happened that you chose this day to remind yourself about me?_

I peeked at the calendar; there wasn't any event I had forgotten about.

_CUCAMBER:_

_i simply had no one to talk to :D_

Was he still not likable? He should have changed since that time.

_CUCAMBER:_

_a girl left me. we've been together for 2 years_

Oh. A girl. Who would have thought? Apparently, he had changed a lot. In only half-a-years time.

Jacob was talking more and more. He was telling me about his girlfriend and how much he missed her. He even sent me their photo (I had to admit that he did change A LOT; he grew into a real man and became huge). I let him talk, adding my comments and giving him psychological advice every now and then. Finally, we changed to general topics. I was answering coldly, still suspicious. Jake noticed it and apologized a few more times for his stupidity. I was slowly remembering how good talking with him had been, so free and cheerful. I'd never thought of him as someone more than a best friend. But he WAS my best friend, even now.

Suddenly, in the middle of our talk, the Internet simply stopped working. I pressed the 'fix' option lots of times but it didn't want to work. Unfortunately, this turn of things was common here; the only thing I could do was wait. I didn't think it would work until tomorrow. Willy-nilly, I turned the computer off and went to sleep.

**A/N: I'm currently working on 16th chapter. Maybe someone has some idea what Isabel and Edward could do on Monday after a night in a bar (btw, Isabel has a hangover and her parents are out of the apartment until the next day). I would be very grateful. Lets say, the best idea would get a price :D. (a picture done by me with watever the winner would want me to draw. or anything else I could send by e-mail; go to my gallery - link on my profile - and see what I can do :))**

**Btw, Edward's new car is Mercedes SLR McLaren Coupe. More info and a picture on my profile. **

**You have Jacob in this chapter. Strange, don't ya think? :D Only when I was translating this chapter into English I realized it. XD And I took advantage of it at once... in next chapter. :P**

**Now leave me some reviews, I love to read them. :D And don't forget to vote in my poll, I have only 3 votes now!**


	15. 24th November: Saturday

**A/N: This chapter is the longest I've written so far, and one of my favorites. Hope you'll also like it. :) **

**I'll give some thanks and explanations this time...**

**Thanks to **FinnIrishDancer **for noticing some inaccuracies. These things are obvious to me as an authir so I didn't think someone could not get it right, sorry. First thing I'll explain in one of the next chapters. The second was: "**And if he (Edward) was born in 1933 how could his father been a fan of the twilight saga??" **When Edward was talking about his father liking Twilight (second chap.) I wrote word 'father' in italics. He didn't mean his real father ('cause he didn't remember his past) but the old vampire Cato who had taught him everything and had given him his name.**

**Great thanks to **darkalyria **! One day I logged to my e-mail and saw sooo many reviews, all from her! Geez, so many great reviews... I felt loved in that moment. :P Thanks, Lizzy, you've made my day! :D**

**Thanks to **paygelee, yesi'mleashingmyimagination, bingo1000 **and** legallyxbrunette **for their reviews to my last chapter. Btw, legallyxbrunette, I assure you that Edward had nothing to do with not-working Internet; actually it happens quite often in our apartment building.**

**And of course tkanks to my wonderful beta, **EVForever! **Hogs and kisses for you! :P**

**Oh, and I still need an idea. What would you do with your**** vampire boyfriend after a night in a bar? Please, help me!**

**Songs for this chapter: KoRn – **_**Blind **_**and **_**Freak On A Leash.**_

**24.11 Saturday**

I had a restless sleep: some uneasy visions, which I didn't remember now, were haunting me. However, I could, without a doubt, remember they included Edward and – strangely – Jacob. _Strange things, _I thought as I was standing up in the morning.

Mom peeked into my room; her eyes were gleaming, and her face was flushed with emotions. "We're leaving!" she announced in a cheerful voice.

My parents had been preparing for a trip to SPA for two days. They had received two tickets by mail. It had surprised them; they hadn't entered any competition nor have they some so generous member of their family. They had been searching through all relatives and friends but still had found no clue of who had sent them those tickets. However, as they had confirmed authenticity of them they had became overcome with euphoria. They hadn't went anywhere far together for so long they probably had forgotten what it was like to live just with each other, without a disturbing presence of kids. Well, when you have two children who need constant attention (as my parents seem to think) you don't have _time_ for holidays. You don't have _money_ for them as well.

This time they hadn't hesitated long about using this rare chance to take a rest from me and my little sister. Caroline had been sent to Grandma's. But I, as my mom had said, 'am old enough to survive here for myself these few days'. I was extremely glad about it, for a few reasons. Firstly, I loved to stay home like that. I was feeling kind of free then: no duties, no one to tell me what to do, eating when I was hungry, and sleeping when tired. Besides, I was a lazy person; I liked mostly to just lay and do nothing, and I didn't get to do this much while my parents were around. Secondly, I wouldn't need to be in my sister's presence for some time. As for a six-year-old she used to be very annoying! And last but not least, I wouldn't want to be away from Edward for long. I grew accustomed to his presence in my life. He was like drugs: you think you have everything under control and then you realize that you're addicted. Not that I tried drugs, but anyway.

So, my parents were leaving this morning and I was alone till Monday evening. Relatively alone, in fact.

Just as the blue Opel Astra kombi disappeared around the corner, I heard a quiet knock. I wasn't surprised to see Edward behind the door, though he usually came later. What surprised me was that his strange behavior didn't vanish. In fact it even kind of got stronger. He wore a mask of kindness but his eyes were cold and impenetrable; there was no longer a hypnotizing sea of fire in them.

We sat on my sofa. I decided to talk with him about his recent change in behavior. It still could be dangerous, but this time the only person in danger was me. At least our arguments wouldn't make any damage to someone outside.

"Edward, what's the matter? Since yesterday you've been kinda… out of yourself."

He was looking in space silently but I could bet he wasn't really seeing. He seemed to be lost in thought.

"Edward…?" I tried to focus his attention on me.

"Isabel…" he finally started slowly in a lifeless voice. "How many times do you think one has to tempt to drop out?"

"Huh?" I didn't know what he meant at that moment.

"What's your mistake limit? How many of them till you say 'farewell'?"

Suddenly, I remembered yesterday conversation in the hospital and sentences shouted out by Isa. I was surprised he let such stupidity bother him even a slightest bit. Besides, his mistakes weren't so bad they had to be a death sentence to a relationship; or to our relationship to be precise, for I wasn't sure if there was any other couple as us for real. He wasn't cheating on me, for crying out loud! Or was he…? The thought came to me, too terrifying to consider so I pushed it aside.

"I don't think there's some set limit," I growled while standing up, trying to make myself calm.

He grasped my hand but quickly backed out. "It seems that he hasn't exceeded it yet…" he whispered, more to himself than to me.

I didn't know what he meant at first but then I remembered my talk yesterday with Jake. I don't know why he was bringing my ex in this conversation. He was nothing more than a friend now so 'the limits' didn't involve him. I shrugged. "He apologized."

"I also did," Edward pointed out.

"And who said I still hold something against you?" I was starting to get really irritated. He was just being ridiculous!

He looked carefully at me; his mask disappeared and I saw worry in his eyes. "How many times was it?" he asked.

"What?" I didn't understand, again. I would have to teach him to talk straighter. Who said that men's minds are simple and don't get allusions?!

"How many times did I hurt you?"

_Great, he's going to be difficult. _"I dunno. I didn't count." I shrugged. _Ugh, this came out as if it was a lot of it._

Edward stood up and started walking around the room, his expression hard.

"Let me count." He lifted his fingers to counting; it all looked as if he had planned this conversation. "Firstly, I wanted to kill you." He straightened first finger. I was opening my mouth to break in but he didn't let me get a word edgewise. "But it's not worth mentioning, these thing happen," he chafed. "Then," he unbent his second finger, "I rejected you, causing you pain. I was egoistically minding my own business and I was making this worse. I almost caused your death then!" I remembered when I almost fell from the speeding car. He had been so angry then… "There's also the History teacher matter." He counted three. "Argument in the car." That made four already. "And how many times I've made you sad." He lowered his arms apathetically and shook his head, "I can't even count…"

I was looking at him, mouth open but not able to say a word. He glanced at me sadly. "Tell me how many chances I have left. It will be fairer."

I took a deep breath to make a long speech about how stupid it all was, but words stuck in my throat. So I only shook my head with a heavy sight. He was so silly sometimes, like he couldn't understand that there was nothing wrong with what he was doing; he was a vampire after all, with no human memories moreover, it would surely take some time to work this relationship out.

But Edward understood my gesture wrong. "I see," he whispered and I heard pain in his voice. "I'm sorry."

Before I could say something or even blink, he wasn't there.

There was no sense in shouting after him; I knew he could be far away already. I quickly grabbed my cell phone and typed his number. No one answered. I tried again, with same result. I threw my phone on the sofa angrily. How could he think my patience for him had any limit? Had I ever given him any hint? Why had the one conversation in the hospital sowed such doubts in his mind? And why couldn't he have listened to what I had had to say? He had just run away with his frustrations!

I collapsed on the chair, resigned. First of all, I had to calm down. I switched my laptop on and turned on the music. Jonathan Davis' aggressive but extraordinary voice distracted me and cut me off from the outside world.

_This place inside my mind, a place I like to hide._

_You don't know the chances. What if I should die?!_

_A place inside my brain, another kind of pain._

_You don't know the chances. I'm so blind!_

I went to the place inside MY mind, closing it for a while and making it blank. Thinking only about the music. Focusing on the voice, then each of the instruments alone. I tried to make my breathing match the rhythm of the song.

Suddenly, a conversation window popped out in front of my eyes, snapping me out of my trance.

CUCAMBER:

hey

I sighed. _Fine, maybe I would have some good time meanwhile, before I try to call Edward again_, I thought. This would distract me enough.

ISABELLL:

hi

CUCAMBER:

why did you leave without a goodbye yesterday?

ISABELLL:

internet just cut itself off. it happens sometimes here

CUCAMBER:

too bad

None of us wrote anything for a while. The Windows Player started to play my favorite KoRn song: Freak on a Leash.

CUCAMBER:

whatcha doing?

ISABELLL:

listening to music

CUCAMBER:

still hard sounds? :D

ISABELLL:

that is?

CUCAMBER:

Korn?

ISABELLL:

hell yeah! :D

I was surprised he remembered. I felt ashamed that I knew so little about him, though we had been a couple.

CUCAMBER:

have some time today?

I stiffened. What was going on? He wanted to go on a date or was he just joking?

ISABELLL:

depends on what for

_Diplomacy is the rule_, I thought to myself.

CUCAMBER:

i thought we may meet somewhere in the city centre. if you don't mind of course

ISABELLL:

do you have any concrete idea?

CUCAMBER:

not much. i thought maybe we can walk a little, talk…

I hesitated. Did I want to renew this familiarity that much? What if he still felt something for me? After all I had Edward now; would it be fair towards him? _But what if it's over with Edward? _A quiet voice sounded in my head. _What if he won't want to listen to my explanations? _I shuddered at the thought. _It's impossible! _I said to myself. _He's not like that!_

I peeked at the screen and noticed a new message.

CUCAMBER:

i'll understand if you don't want to

_Nobody said it would be a rerun of the last time_, I thought. _I will give him to understand that we're only friends and it should be okay._

ISABELLL:

when?

CUCAMBER:

what about 4?

ISABELLL:

great. where?

CUCAMBER:

i'll call for you :D see ya

His nickname blinked as unapproachable. I was a little surprised; was it possible that he had been waiting only to make an appointment with me? It seemed so unbelievable. I brushed the thought aside and called Edward again; without success. I was calling every half an hour but he didn't answer. It started getting late and I had to prepare for my 'date' with Jacob.

It was four o'clock exactly when the intercom rung. I rushed out of my apartment grabbing some things on my way and forgetting others. As I came downstairs I was met by a doubtless surprise. Jake really had changed a lot in this two and a half year. As I could say without measuring he was about seven feet tall; with my five feet six inches I had to raise my head pretty much to look in his face. His muscles were nearly as big as ones of a body-builder's and he was very tan. His hair was lighter than I remembered and became reddish; probably because of the sun. He must have been working hard this summer…

"Hey!" he greeted me cheerfully. "You've changed pretty much!"

His smile was so warm I just couldn't help but return it.

"Hi. You too have changed. VERY much in fact."

He laughed. "We better go." He grabbed my hand and pulled me after him. This gesture surprised me; Jake never had been so courageous. His skin was incredibly hot, like he had a fever. I tried to broke my palm free but his hold was too strong. Willy-nilly, I dragged after him. He seemed to be in a rush and I wondered what he had planned for us to do.

We went among the old buildings of the railway station. Memories came. Over five weeks. It was over five weeks since I'd met Edward here. Who would have thought then that I would be alive now?

Suddenly, Jacob stopped. Engrossed in my thoughts I didn't notice it until I hit his back. I took a look at him; he looked as if he was debating about something, hesitating.

"I'm sorry," he said not looking at me. "I don't want this, believe me, but I don't have a choice.

Before I could put his words together, he gagged my mouth with his huge hand, trapped me deadly tight in his arms and carried me to one of the empty buildings. I had never been in this particular one; it had been always closed. However, Jacob didn't care about door; he nimbly jumped through a window frame. He stopped his race only on the last floor, where he let me free.

"What the hell are you doing?!" I yelled as soon as I could talk again.

Jake looked at me gloomily, all his previous cheerfulness gone and forgotten. "Do you realize who your boyfriend is?" he asked crossing his arms on his chest.

A cold shiver ran down my spine. _He knows?!_

"As far as I know he's a student," I said carelessly saving a poker face and thanking my lying abilities. _Nothing good will come of this if he knows._

He shook his head, irritated. "That's not what I mean. How much did he tell you about himself? Did he tell you about his… problems with heart? Do you know about his… diet?"

For someone not initiated, these questions might have sounded innocent, but I knew exactly what the subtle allusions meant.

"Certainly, I know," I hissed through clenched teeth. _He shouldn't know. It's dangerous. For both of them._

He sighed with relief. "Good. So I can be honest with you." He sat on a floor and motioned to me to do the same. I followed unwillingly.

"I'm sorry I have to tell you this way, but… your vampire is going to be liquidated."

I was looking foolishly, not understanding his words. I didn't want to understand. My vampire boyfriend liquidated? Not possible. However, fright and despair were slowly creeping into my heart.

"W-why?" I asked in slightly trembling voice.

"We can't let a bloodsucker be rampant on our territory." Jake growled, clearly disgusted with the fact that I was worrying about a monster. The monster I was in love with. How easy it was to admit this in a crisis situation!

I tried to pull myself together, not letting emotions overwhelm me. Then something in his statement hit me. "On your territory?" I repeated slowly.

He looked at me carefully. He seemed to try to tell me something with his eyes.

"Is it some kind of a gang? Like the Van Hellsing's one?" I asked.

Jacob snorted. "Humans are no real danger for vampires."

"Then… what are you?" My voice trembled. First time of my life I was so afraid. Not about me, really; I somehow knew he didn't want to hurt me. It was Edward who was in great danger.

Jake opened his mouth but closed it immediately, as if words were too big to come through his throat. He shook his head resigned. "You have to know it! What's vampire's greatest enemy? Think!"

Vampire's greatest enemy? Suddenly, all pieces fitted together.

"Werewolf…" I whispered, terrified.

He smiled in relief. But his jaw dropped immediately; he was looking at me with more and more worry. Blood fled from my face, my hands started to shake. I clenched them on my thighs what only caused to move trembling to my arms. Because of fear, I couldn't breathe normally.

"Hey, Isa, what's wrong with you?" Jake asked uneasily. His voice sounded far away for me.

Werewolves. The whole gang. They wanted to destroy Edward. If real werewolves were like the ones in S. Meyer's book, then my boyfriend didn't have a slightest chance.

"You can't… you can't kill him…" I groaned.

"In fact, we can't, indeed. He's already dead."

I laughed hysterically. Quickly, my laugher turned into a sob. I wasn't the kind of always-crying person, really, there wasn't much that could make me cry. I always thought crying is for weaklings. But this time I simply couldn't help myself. The very thought of loosing Edward, in the final meaning of this word, was scaring me to death. I couldn't stand that happening.

Jacob put his hands on my shoulders. "Isa… You're not telling me you're sorry for this monster, are you?"

I sobbed louder.

"He kills people!"

"I don't care!" I shouted tearing myself out of his grasp.

He pressed his lips in straight line. "You don't care? If it was your mother or sister you wouldn't care either?"

"No," I whispered. And it was true. If he killed me I would forgive him still; because it was what was natural to him.

We were sitting in a silence for a while. The only sounds were sobs shaking my body every now and then.

"So I will have nothing to regret," the werewolf muttered finally.

I looked questioningly at him through tear-filled eyes.

"If you're so blinded it will be even better when you'll experience some shock," he hissed. "Maybe it will help you look at the world soberly."

"What shock?" I asked, my voice still shaky.

"You thought I've led you here only to tell you that we had passed the judgment?" he grumbled. "It would have been better to write it in the messenger in that case. I wouldn't have to watch your cries at least."

Ouch. That hurt.

"Then why have you led me here?" Better word would be rather 'kidnapped'.

Jacob shrugged. "You're a lure."

"Lure?" I repeated slowly. I had just enough of asking this one or two-words questions; why couldn't men just say everything that need to be said?!

"Yeah. After all, he's your boyfriend, right? He should call for you soon. We've left a clear trail for him to follow."

I felt such huge relief that I burst out laughing. They were waiting for Edward to come here for me? They would need to be veeeery patient in that case… I was laughing long and still couldn't stop; kind of hysterical reaction. Jake was looking at me as if I was crazy. And maybe I was: crazy with joy. Finally, I managed to calm down.

"What's going on?" he asked suspiciously.

"I'm afraid your plan will fail," I answered cheerfully.

"What? How?"

"Like that." Even I was surprised by my calmness. "Edward's not coming here." _And I could sing to heavens with joy because of this_, I thought. What a luck we had had an argument today of all days! And to think that I was so broken down then! Now there couldn't be any better news for me.

Jacob got pale and jumped on his legs.

"What do you mean by 'not coming here'?!" he yelled.

"He doesn't talk to me," I explained happily, what seemed absurd along with my words. "I don't think he'd care about where I am now…" I trailed off and stiffened looking at my ex, who was now shaking like jelly. His teeth were clenched with anger, eyes throwing thunders. His trembling was increasing. I knew exactly what it meant; after a while he would change into a wolf. Deadly dangerous beast, big as a van, incredibly quick and strong, with huge sharp teeth. Able to defeat a vampire, not to mention crushing a little human like me.

Slowly, I started to crawl backward to a wall behind me. My hand met a piece of glass; I hissed in pain and turned my head to examine the injuries. In that exact moment I heard a loud snap. I looked at Jake, but in the place where he had once been standing was now a huge reddish wolf. The creature roared and headed towards me. I should run away but fright paralyzed me. Besides, I wouldn't have a slightest chance to escape. Hypnotized, I was glaring in wolf's eyes, which were also eyes of my ex-boyfriend and friend. But I couldn't see him there now.

Suddenly, something moving too fast for me to see jumped through a window. It flew at the werewolf throwing him at a wall with so much force the floor trembled. Before I could blink, Edward was beside me. He took me in his arms, like a little child, and hugged. I sighed in contentment and nestled into his shoulder; I suddenly felt very safe. However, he set me down in the furthest corner of the room soon. The furthest from the beast that was just getting up from the floor.

And then, fear shot me again. And this time, just as the first, I didn't fear for myself but for my vampire.

"Edward, it's a trap!"

He smiled comfortingly and stroked my head. "Calm down. There's no trap."

"But there is!" I shouted, desperate. "The rest of the gang of werewolves should be here in no time!"

He shook his head, smile still plastered to his face. "There are no werewolves now. Except for this one."

"But…" I started, but then the realization of the meaning of his words hit me. _There are no werewolves NOW._

Edward smiled wider at me as he saw understanding in my eyes. Then he turned to face Jake. He stood so he could protect me from an attack with his own body.

"Your plan wasn't very wise. All of them were standing near each other, on the wrong side of the building…" He shook his head with disapproval. "It allowed me to kill each one quietly, walking on leeward. It didn't even take me much time. That's what happens when laymen get to work…"

Jacob bared his teeth at these (no doubt insulting for him) words. He attacked so fast I couldn't even shout. However, Edward took it easy; I heard a loud crash and the wolf hit the wall again. The vampire seemed to have great fun. His opponent was on his paws in an instant. This time, though, he was composed; he was observing the pale figure intently, preparing for his next, surely more effective, attack. I had known it earlier but now I realized it for sure as I saw it on my own eyes; they were predators and mortal enemies. Only one of them could make it through this fight alive. I couldn't let it happen.

"Stop!" I shouted, though I wasn't really expecting any of them to resign that easily. I knew I would have to make some play…

They both looked at me surprised.

"You can't fight, it can't be the only way." _Gosh, it sounded like a line from some second-class romance… _

Edward shook his head sadly. "I can't let him live. He wanted to hurt you, he could've even killed you, if I didn't come."

"But he wasn't himself then!" I protested.

"If I don't kill him, he will kill me."

I couldn't argue with the truth of these words. I turned to the other opponent.

"Jake, please!"

The wolf snorted and rolled his eyes. It made me sure I was on a wild-goose chase. I had to try though.

"Oh, you're impossible! _Men_!" I made the last word sound as if it was the worst curse. I stood up and looked daggers at them. Then, I just walked out of the room, pretending to be offended. They were glaring at me, speechless. Ha! They obviously weren't expecting that! Part bring-them-out-of-their-fighting-trance of my plan complete!

"Isabel, you have got to be kidding…" Edward stammered.

"If you want to kill each other, then I don't want to look at either of you!" I shouted as I was walking down the stairs. I hoped they would understand the true meaning of this threat.

I was heading down not looking back and trying not to listen to any sounds from upstairs. I was dizzy from fear, I felt nausea. I was doing my best to concentrate on my breathing. As I reached the last step, I sat and hid my face in my hands. By bringing my plan into action I had deprived myself of opportunity of watching how the situation would develop. As much as I wanted to know what would happen, I was sick to the stomach at the idea of watching them fight to death. _How long shall I sit there shivering with anxiety about their lives?_ I thought.

One of them was a vampire, the other one a werewolf. One was the man of my life, the other an old friend. Though both of them had hurt me, I still cared about them. I couldn't give either of them up. I felt tears streaming down my cheeks. _Damn, again I am crying! Stupid mythical creatures…_

"Isabel…" I heard Edward whispering suddenly behind me.

"Where's Jake?" I asked quickly not looking back at him. I wanted to be over it quickly.

"He went back home."

I turned around and gazed at him, shocked. In fact, I was expecting them to fight no matter what; it seemed just natural. Edward was looking at me sadly, apologetically; he wasn't lying.

"You've reconciled?"

"I would rather call it 'the truce at an indefinite time'." He smiled sourly.

He sat uneasily beside me. Gently, he wiped tears away from my face with his cold fingers. "I'm sorry. I hurt you again. Now I have a debit side." He frowned.

"You should have started to pay off the debt instead of running away. Next time I'll send the tax department after you." I attempted to lighten the mood a little. It worked; he chuckled quietly but then sighed.

"I'm so sorry. I'm such an idiot."

"I won't deny that," I muttered, being too direct again. "I was beside myself and you wouldn't even pick up the phone!"

He became sulky. "I forgot my cell," he mumbled.

"What?!" I stared at him with my eyes wide open. He, a vampire with perfect memory, forgot his cell phone?! Incredible.

"Only as I got home I saw how many unanswered calls I have from you. I realized then that I had had to get something wrong."

"And how did you find me here?" Curiosity was eating me up.

"I returned to your place to apologize but you weren't home. The door wasn't closed and I started to worry." Dang. I was in such a hurry that I forgot to close the door. And to take my phone… I wasn't better than Edward… "I tried to grasp where you had gone. I saw an unclosed message window on the computer screen. I know I shouldn't look at it, I'm sorry, but I was curious and anxious… I read part of a talk with a 'cucamber'." He frowned. "And I knew you had appointed. All I had to do then was find the trace." He shrugged.

"And what about the werewolves?"

He smiled to himself. "They'd made a great mistake assuming that I don't know about their existence. I've met werewolves once, while hunting in the Tatra Mountains, I know their scent. And I know how to easily get rid of them."

"So Jake didn't have the slightest chance against you…" I stated quite sadly staring at my knees. Though I didn't know if I should be sad. If Jacob did have some chance, my boyfriend would probably get hurt and it was the last thing I wanted. But I didn't want my friend to be hurt either. _Why can't life be simpler?_

Edward lifted my chin gently and forced me to look in his eyes. "I won't attack him until he does it first. And he will wait now till the werewolves have predominance again. Don't worry."

I nodded, just to humor him. If they might attack again there certainly was a need to worry. He noticed my uncertainty and closed my face in his hands.

"I don't want to see sadness on your face caused by me again. I promise… I swear I won't hurt you anymore."

I smiled at him comfortingly. I didn't believe he wouldn't hurt me in the future, but I did believe he would try. And it was just enough for me.

"Would you give me… one more chance?" he asked with hope.

"As many as you want."

He answered me with such a happy smile my heart fluttered.

"You said something about paying off the debt…" he muttered playing with a wisp of my hair. His smile was mischievous now, devious sparks glinted in his eyes.

"With interests." I nodded.

"There would be a lot of this." He stroked my cheek with his fingertips. His face seemed to get closer and closer.

"You could pay by installments."

He smiled widely, white teeth glistened. "But firstly, an advance payment…" he murmured in my lips.

Then, he closed them with a long kiss.

**A/N: And now click the 'go' button below. Yeah, this lilac one. Write me what you think of this crap. And when you're done here, go to my profile and vote in my poll. :)**


	16. 25th November: Sunday

17

**A/N: It took me a while to write and translate this one. I have school now, with the most important exam in May, so I won't be able to update often. And I still have no idea for the next chapter, so may someone help me, please?**

**After reading "Midnight Sun" (and influenced by Daughtry's song **_**Crushed**_**) I decided to try to write this story from Edward's point of view. I already have a part of the first chapter (and I have to say that it's far better than this :P). It's actually fun to write, especially while I'm writing it in English, not in Polish with troublesome translation afterwards. Maybe I'll update it here as a new story, of course if anyone would want to read it. :)**

**The song for this chapter is Beseech's **_**Innerlane.**_

**25.11 Sunday**

As I woke up in the morning, I was in an unusually good mood. During the whole previous evening, Edward had been 'paying back his debt' and I could expect him to pay another installement today. I had also managed to avert a quarrel between my current and former boyfriend; a quarrel that might have turned deadly for both of them. It made me very self-satisfied.

I made my daily morning activities humming Beseech's _Innerlane_. I sat in front of my laptop to check if I had any messages on my deviantArt account. Two journals, five deviations, nothing interesting. I was just going to turn off the computer and then...

PING!

The message window appeared with a strange sound.

CUCAMBER:

i'm sorry

_Oh no, my dear. I saved your ungrateful butt and I'm putting an end to this story here. I won't be accommodat__ing to you ever again. It's became too much for a simple apology to settle the matter. _

CUCAMBER:

S

_Huh?_

CUCAMBER:

O

R

R

Y

_On the hedgehog's snout! What an irritating guy_! Yeah, it surely was kinda... nice apology but I was still too much under the influence of the previous day's events to talk with Jacob.

CUCAMBER:

please, forgive me

_Irritating. Ignore._

I turned off the laptop just in time: I heard a quiet knock on the door. Edward greeted me with a happy smile. He looked unbelievably jubilant and his good mood was contagious.

"So what are we gonna do today?" he asked gaily.

It'd been a long time since I saw him like that; I couldn't resist a laugh.

"Let's get drunk, I've never done it before," I said half-jokingly. To tell the truth, I was expecting him to burst out laughing at this flippant request. However, I truly wanted to try this. White had told me about drinking with her friends so many times. Recently, even my old friend, who was always the best, polite student, had gotten drunk after a concert of her dancing group. I was really curious to what it's like. And I had enough of listening about something I know nearly nothing of. _Besides, if I'm going under, I should reach the bottom! _I thought contrarily.

To my astonishment Edward, instead of treating my request as a joke or forbidding it, grinned only. "Good idea for the night, but what are we gonna do till then?"

I was so shocked that I completely lost my track of thought. "I dunno..." I mumbled.

The vampire chuckled gently. "How about a walk?"

"Why not." I shrugged, a little disappointed, 'cause we couldn't do our 'financial matter' in public. Or rather I didn't tolerate such behavior. Those couples kissing on each park bench... No privacy and no respect for innocent people wanting a calm, relaxing walk!

Edward, of course saw my face and chuckled quietly. "I have a surprise for you," he said supposedly casually. He knew exactly what he was doing; my curiosity was being awoken. Now I could even go to Prague on foot, only to get to know what he had prepared for me.

I dressed up warmly (Edward made sure I wore my coat) and we went outside to greet a huge dark cloud and cold wind. At times like this, I didn't know whether I should be glad or the opposite. On the one side, all I wanted to do during such weather was to get back to the warmth and drink some hot tea. But on the other, if it was sunny I couldn't meet with Edward (at least not during the day ;)). Moist mist that was hovering in the air settled down on my hair, making it twist into messy curls. We were walking down a dirty sidewalk hand in hand (this form of showing affection in public I tolerated). Trees were loosing remnants of their leaves, which became golden rustling carpet by our feet. Naked branches were aiming gloomily at the steel-grey sky. _So gloomy... _I thought with dread. The mood started to slowly influence me. I glanced quickly at Edward. He was already looking at me and he smiled happily as our gazes locked. _What a contrast! _My mood instantly brightened and I smiled back. Looking at my vampire instead of the path, I broke the saint rule of all klutzes: Watch your feet. Of course I tripped over the uneven surface. Luckily, my glorious boyfriend caught me by the waist before I fell on my face. He laughed soundly as I caught my balance back.

"It's one more thing that makes you similar to Bella..."

But if I were Bella I would have blushed crimson by now and I didn't do this because my complexion wasn't prone to blushing. Instead, I became outraged. "It was not my fault! The sidewalk attacked me."

The vampire laughed louder as an answer. However, I was too proud of my old ideals to become offended; it was childish and pointless. I noticed that we were heading towards my school instead. I was becoming impatient.

"Where's the surprise?" I sounded like a whining child and Edward snickered again.

"Not much farther."

We crossed the park and I saw a fenced construction site at the edge of it in front of the school. It was about 40 square meters big and it already had a brickwork.

"Here it is. The surprise." Edward smiled and pointed out towards the rectangle.

"Eee..." I stammered not knowing what to say. "And what is it actually?"

"A brickwork so far. And soon to be 'The Eddie's Bar'." He laughed. "During the day it would attend to people, and after dusk to vampires. You will have a place to eat a tasty dinner finally." He winked at me knowingly.

We had a cafeteria at school but meals there were so horrible that I didn't want to eat anything. However, I didn't know if I should be very happy about the current situation. It was obvious that after twilight, the meal would consist of unlucky people who would happen to choose that particular bar to have a drink in. A 'Bloody Mary' would be meant literally there...

Suddenly, my stomach rumbled loudly, betraying that I hadn't eaten any breakfast.

"You seem to be hungry." Edward grinned.

I spread my hands in a 'not-my-fault' gesture. The vampire chuckled, grabbed my hand and pulled me in the direction we had come from. He led me to 'The Gate Café' restaurant and ordered a loosened duck with cranberries without even asking my opinion. I raised an eyebrow at him.

"You and Isa wanted to give it a try, didn't you?" he said innocently.

"Half-jokingly... What if they bring the whole duck?"

"You don't have to eat everything." He shrugged. "Don't worry; you're not the one who's paying for this."

I sighed. A waste is equally as bad when you do it with your money as when you use someone else's.

Thankfully, the duck wasn't whole. But I couldn't fit everything in my not-so-big stomach anyway. None the less, I satisfied my curiosity: never again any ducks. I was working hard on eating the dinner and I didn't even noticed when it got late. I finished my meal in a hurry, not wanting to miss my new soon-to-come drinking experience. When we left the building it was quite dark already. To my surprise a familiar Mercedes was waiting for us in the parking lot. I didn't ask how it had gotten in here. I knew I should get used to these kind of surprises; this was just one of many advantages of having a vampire as a boyfriend.

Edward drove us to the suburbs, to some place I had never been. We stopped in front of a bar. A stag's skull with its antler was hanging over the door, the sign underneath was saying that this was 'The Lieutenant's Bar'. We entered it in silence. I was a little hesitant; I had never been in this kind of place before. The inside was interesting. It was black and green and looked like a forester's house. On the right there was a counter with a TV on it and tall stools beside. On the left, simple tables were surrounded by wooden benches. Show-cases were standing at the walls, full of stuffed animals. Long climbing plants were hanging in the corners. On the opposite side of the entrance was a WC door; a sheet of paper pinned to it was teaching monkeys from a bush some culture ('It's not a jungle on equator, flush the toilet and close the door.').

I choose the table in the corner, as far away as I could from some strange boozers drinking beer. After a while a fat, ugly bartender was making his way among the chairs towards us with some difficulties.

"What?" he asked unpolitely when he succeeded in reaching our table.

I had given the subject of my order a lot of thought, so I answered without hesitation. "Vodka with apple juice, please."

"On the way," the man grunted and walked away.

I took a look at Edward, who was staring at me with a strange smirk.

"What?" I asked innocently.

"As far as I know you haven't drunk," he said, amused.

I shrugged. "White used to say it's good."

The bartender was back with a bottle of a quarter of a liter of transparent fluid and a carton of apple juice, two glasses and two tumblers.

"Drink and bon appetite," he mumbled with a bad accent and quickly went away.

I looked at all these things sceptically. _Is he sure this is the right way to drinking it?_ I used to be certain that vodka and juice should be in one glass... Well, the man was a bartender after all, he should know better than me, shouldn't he?

I brushed any contemplations and inhibitions aside and started to drink. But to tell the truth, I didn't really know how to drink alcohol... So I started quickly, glass after glass. The vampire was looking at me, more and more amused, as if I was some experiment.

"Whatchya lookin' at?" I scolded him, but he only chuckled.

Something started to hum in my head, louder and louder. I felt so weightless that I was sure I could fly in that moment. I opened my mouth to share this thought with my boyfriend, but my lips got out of control. I was babbling and babbling, stopping only to pour another glass of vodka down my throat. I completely couldn't control the words that were coming from me. The bar started to spin strangely in fron of my eyes.

I don't remember much of what happened after that. There are some flashes of images that I can't fit together. For example, I remember that I stated that the gross bartender was as handsome as Brad Pitt and that I just had to get his phone number. Of course, as soon as I was a little more conscious I threw the number, written on an eye-scorching pink napkin, away. Edward only laughed quietly and ordered a Malibu. Another flash is me singing some hit in a duel with a small radio which was standing on a counter. Three second later than the original. And in broken English. This time, my vampire forcefully pulled me to our table, muttering "What a bummer." under his breath.

But the worst started when, after some round, I suddenly felt nauseous. Unthinkingly, I grabbed a hood of a sweatshirt that belonged to the boy sitting next-table and... Whoosh! Let's just say that the huge hood was exactly the size of a loosened duck, Malibu and vodka. Cranberries stuck in my nose, gross. The bald skater started to swear and wanted to attack me. He grasped my arms, his hands like pincers, and then... Whoosh! Puke landed on his feet together with cranberries. Thankfully, Edward intervened in this moment (he was previously outside for a reason unknown to me). He started to apologize to the man and he even gave him 500 zlotys as a compensation for the sweatshirt and shoes. The skate calmed clearly. He took the sweatshirt off and went to the bathroom to clean his shoes.

After the excesses of alcohol left my stomach I was a little more conscious, though I felt awful. The bartender run to us and started to shout something, increasing my headache. The vampire gave him a hundred, took a rag from him and started to clean. All of a sudden, I felt someone's hand on my shoulder. I turned around, almost falling on my face, and saw a tall, anorexic-looking and extremely pale long-haired blonde. She had strange, violet eyes and was dressed with the most fashionable clothes.

"Eddie, I'll take her on the fresh air so she would cool down a little," she told Edward, her voice like bells, but he didn't seem to notice her; he was arguing with the bartender.

The woman led me outside holding me by my elbow. It was quite hard to walk, the floor seemed extremely uneven, and the walls were spinning like crazy. When we were finally in front of the building, I leaned against a wall heavily.

I was just opening my mouth to ask the blonde who she was and how did she know Edward, but instead of words, puke left them: straight on the girl's white sneakers. Luckily, she had better reflex than the bald guy and jumped aside just in time. She shook her head in incredulity.

"It's a shame there's no who-would-puke-on-the-greatest-amount-of-shoes contest. You would surely win. You've completely destroyed Mati's shoes." Though I still wasn't very mentally competent, I managed to join the name 'Mati' with the skate whose sweatshirt and sneakers had been victims of my sickness. I also assumed that he was this girl's boyfriend. "Was it the first time you drank alcohol? Don't you know that you shouldn't mix? When you drink vodka, drink vodka. Not vodka and wine and liquor." She took me all in, from head to toe, with a cinical glance. "Gosh, how old are you?!" she shouted suddenly. "Since when has Eddie liked younger ones? He used to fall for mature women."

_How does she know this?!_ Was bouncing in my head. I wanted to ask her, but again I was stopped by puke. My head spun and I lost my balance stumbling over my own feet and almost landing in the disgusting puddle.

"You're such a klutz, aren't you?" The chick seemed amused. "You probably don't remember how many times you fell tonight. The one when you tumbled onto the bartender carrying a jar of cucumbers was great." She laughed at the memory.

I frowned, but I'm not sure if it was a reaction to her words or acrobatic tricks of my stomach.

"What are you doing to her?!" Edward's voice thundered. He'd just left the pub, probably looking for me.

"Me?" the blondie faked astonishment.

"No, me," the vampire growled caustically making his way toward us quickly.

"No worries, honey-bun, nothing. Anyway, it wasn't me who got her drunk in the first place," she answered with a sarcastic smile.

Edward didn't respond but took me by the elbow instead. Grateful, I put all my weight on him because the sidewalk was just threatening me that it would jump up and attack my face. The boy walked me to his car and sat me on the passenger seat with my legs outside. For a second the world spinned again, my stomach with it. I groaned. The vampire towed me forward forcefully; I was now hanging like a rag doll and if he wasn't holding my arm I would have surely fallen down. I felt his other hand brushing my hair aside and then the cold marble landed gently on my neck. Because of his skin temperature it coud easily replace any ice-bag. I closed my eyes and breathed deeply, begging my stomach not to turn inside out again.

"By the way, Eddie, since when have you been tanking teeny-boppers up?" the girl's voice so near me made me start; she was moving without a sound.

"Shut up, Eve!" Edward growled. "Mind your own business." He sounded so menacingly that even I was a little afraid.

"Easy, honey-bunny, no worries." Eve raised her hands up in surrender but moved closer to me.

My boyfriend stood between us as if he wanted to protect me. _Protect me from what? From this anorexic Barbie?_ "You will regret it, Eve!..." he growled.

That was when 'Mati' walked out of the pub impetuously.

"You're threatening my doll?" The muscle-man got ready to fight. Edward on the other hand, clearly relaxed. Was it possible that this Eve was a greater threat than a hooligan on steroids? Or maybe it was just my alcohol-intoxicated brain playing with me?

"Aren't you too old for playing dolls?" the vampire joked maliciously.

"You... you..." the slaphead stuttered; apparently his IQ was too low for him to even come up with a comeback.

Suddenly, Eve gently laid her hand on his shoulder. "Let's go," she said looking into his eyes.

And the big, tough guy, like a little kitten, followed his mistress. Edward's eyes followed their departure. _Where do they know each other from?_ Was echoing in my head.

The vampire bent over me, looking in my face. "Better?" he asked tenderly. "Can we go or will you ralph up again?"

I was feeling a little better but would it be enough to live through the drive? However, I wanted to get out of that place and be in my warm, soft bed as soon as possible. So I nodded and pushed my inert body fully into the car. I collapsed on the seat, feeling vibrations of the engine being switched on. The last thing I remember is the feeling of Edward's cold lips on my temple.

**Review, please? **

**A poll still on my profile...**


	17. 26th November: Monday

**26.11 Monday**

Actually, I don't know what woke me up. The sleep just left me suddenly and I opened my eyes. It took me a while to recognize where I was, like my brain was working on a low revolution. _I'm in my room, that's for sure, but how did I end up here? _It remained an unsolved mystery for me. I peeked at the clock; it was 11:32. The word 'school' appeared in my mind but I didn't completely know why. _What day is today? Sunday? No, wait… Sunday was yesterday, I think… Why don't I remember it then?_ I tried to recollect yesterday's events, from the very beginning. Jacob's apology on the IM, a walk with Edward, 'the Eddie's Bar'… And then…

Suddenly, my brain clicked into place. 'The Lieutenant's Bar'! The memory of that place was full of black holes that I couldn't fill. However, what I could recall was enough for me to make a decision of not showing myself in public for the rest of my life.

One thing I knew for sure: I was just suffering from a so called 'hangover'. And what's the best hangover cure? Sleep it off! I turned my head to find myself a more comfortable position and immediately groaned loudly. Jolting my skull was an unbelievable pain I hadn't ever felt before. It was like I had been battering my head against a wall methodically all night long. Generally, my whole body hurt, but what was happening with my head… was indescribable.

I tried to rise to search for some painkillers in the kitchen. Instantly, nausea hit me. Fighting the sickness with all my will-power, I slowly, holding the walls for support, moved to find some merciful remedy. Only when I tried to open my mouth did I realize how dry it was. My tongue seemed to be a wooden block and I desperately needed something to drink. No, not just something; something that contained water. _Never again any alcohol!_ I thought to myself, just like probably thousands of people before me. I dragged myself to the table, grabbed a carton of juice and quickly drank up all of its contains. When there wasn't even a drop left, I felt a little better; if you could call 'better' a state of pounding head and shaking limbs. I started to rummage about in the cupboards in search for some corpse reviver, but even after half an hour of hunting, I found nothing. Slightly broken, I got my corpse back up to my room, groaning quietly in pain.

As soon as I walked past the threshold of my sanctuary I noticed how much it stank inside! The smell reminded me of the old men rooting through garbage containers at the housing development. Gross! The worst part was that I was stinky too! I felt my stomach turning in protest and I hurried to open a window, greeting a gust of fresh air with gratitude; it soothed my headache and my rebelling guts. I was standing like that for a while, breathing deeply, feeling the cold wind freezing my lungs. _What luck do I have that my parents aren't home, _I thought with relief. _They would probably kill me if they saw me now…_

When I was so cold that I started to shake, I went to the bathroom to wash yesterday's cover off of me. Deciding to take a long, relaxing bath instead of a simple shower, I reached for the knob. After alternating water temperature I poured a cap of Vanilla and Cream Bath Oil into the tube. I stepped inside as it filled with bubbles. The foaming surface rose quickly, engulfing me almost whole, lulling me into sleepy unconsciousness. However, I couldn't really fall asleep; not with one face constantly haunting my mind. And it wasn't an image of the bald body-builder that had menaced my life after I had destroyed his precious outfit. It was the Barbie at his side that occupied my thoughts.

I couldn't tell exactly what was wrong with her, but there was something about her that was making my stomach turn with a bad feeling. And apparently, she was dangerous; though I still didn't know how that could be. However, it wasn't the hypothetical threat she held over me that bothered me; what was more important was that Edward seemed to know her quite well. Actually, they seemed to have once been together. I was telling myself that I shouldn't worry over something that trivial. After all, my situation was better than my vampire's had been only a few days ago; HE had acted as if he hadn't liked his ex. But after years of feeling self-conscious and unattractive to men it was only a natural reaction on my side, was it not?

Finally deciding to use my usual weapon and ask my boyfriend about it with all the power of honesty I had, I washed myself quickly and stepped out of the tub. Suddenly, I heard a knock on the bathroom door. That took me off guard and I almost landed on my butt, shrieking after slipping on the smooth marble floor, managing to catch the sink at the last moment.

"Isabel?" I heard Edward's voice on the other side of the door. He sounded worried, probably because of the scary noise I'd made. "You okay there?"

"Yeah," I groaned pulling myself to my feet. "I'll be out in a minute," I called and grabbed the towel to dry myself of the dripping water and prevent any other falls. I dressed quickly, made all the other necessary daily activities and rushed out of the room, only to be met with the sight of an angry boyfriend standing next to my bed, which I noticed was already made.

"Why did you have your window open?" he scolded, folding his arms on his chest. "The room was freezing!"

I shrugged. "I needed some fresh air." It felt embarrassing to admit to him that I couldn't have stood the smell; though I knew he would notice it anyway with his annoying power. It was impossible to avoid touching him and every time we made contact, he shamelessly took advantage of the opportunity to read my reminiscences. I just had to deal with the fact that he knew me probably better that I did, considering my poor human memory. And he knew all of me; also physically, I observed. I almost blushed at the thought and quickly pushed it aside not to cause any suspicions with my nervous state.

I had more important matters to discuss now. Taking into consideration Edward's bad temper, I had to be gentle and careful with this, but also sufficiently demanding to force the information out of him. I needed to make him confess._ Do not make him suspicious, _I was making important notes in my head. _Do not irritate him. Do not go straight forward with your theory. He's a man; do not try to dominate him. And the most important: he's a man that can easily take your life; do not give him a chance to. _It sounded like I was preparing to an eye-to-eye confrontation with some dangerous animal; and though my boyfriend certainly wasn't an animal, he was even more dangerous than one.

I smiled innocently at him (at least I hoped it was innocent) and crossed the hall to hug him gently. My headache dismissed as soon as my forehead touched the vampire's cold shirt and I was grateful for that; I could finally think more effectively. He put his arms around me and I felt his cheek at the top of my head.

"Are you really okay? No headache, nausea?" he asked softly.

"A little," I lied smoothly; though not smoothly enough for him because he could probably feel now how I was before he had came here.

He sighed. "I'm sorry for yesterday. I shouldn't have let you drink that much."

My head snapped up instantly and I looked warily into his eyes. "It's not your fault, Edward! It was my own decision to get myself drunk and I am to take full responsibility for that!" He tried to say something but I put my finger to his lips to silence him. "You know that I'm right so please don't argue with me." He said nothing but still looked guilty. I sighed, frustrated.

_However, it may be a perfect time to bring up the main topic of this conversation…_ I thought. "Speaking of yesterday…" I started, nervously playing with a collar of his shirt. "I was thinking… about this girl we met there… Eve was her name, right?" I sneaked a peak at his expression; he looked cautious now. Something was up.

"What about her?" he asked, clearly uncomfortable.

"You seemed to know her well. And I just wondered… who she is." He didn't answer. Looking somewhere on the right, he narrowed his brows and his lips formed a straight line. Not good. But I had to know! I decided to just spill it out. "Is she your ex?"

His head shot in my direction; his eyes were wide, brimmed with shock and slight anger. "What?! Hell, no!!!" he yelled; I winced at his rage. Crap, I broke one of my rules: I irritated him. "What made you think that?!"

"I don't know," I mumbled. "It just seemed to fit. She knew so much about you and… and… she called you honey-bunny…" My voice was getting softer and softer, the last word coming out as a whisper.

I was waiting for some reply from him, for him to tell me I was right all along or just yell at me, but nothing came. Just as I was getting impatient, I felt shaking of his chest next to me. I looked at him and blinked, surprised. He was holding back laughter! When he saw my face, he snapped and burst into laughter. "Oh, Isabel…" he breathed in between chuckles. I pursed my lips and turned away from him; he was laughing at me! Edward just hugged me closer to him, crushing my embarrassed self to his torso. When his fits finally subsided, he put his face in my hair.

"You're so cute when you're jealous," he murmured sweetly in my ear.

_DANG! _I hid my face in the fabric of his shirt in extreme mortification; I felt my cheeks getting hot, though they probably weren't really red. My boyfriend snickered once more and then sighed.

"She's just someone I wish we would never see again," he whispered.

I closed my arms tightly around him and nestled into his shoulder. His last statement was enough for my worries to disappear.

After some time of this cuddling, Edward pulled away. I looked at him questioningly and he grinned. "We can't waste all day like that, can we?" I shrugged at this; I was definitely up for such a waste of time as long as they were his arms holding me. He didn't even kiss me today and he wanted to stop already!

As if on cue, he leaned in and pecked my lips. "If you feel better now, I would like to try something," he said with a mysterious smirk on his face. I nodded hesitantly, not sure what was going on his mind. Was it at all safe to agree to his ideas? But then I saw his smoldering eyes; those two pools of pure fire. When he looked at me like that I could deny him nothing.

Surprisingly, he led me to the kitchen. There were already loads of things on the table and on top of them was lying a red book. The vampire lifted the little volume in his hand to show me the cover.

"A cook book?" I raised an eyebrow at him. "Do you plan on actually cooking in your bar?"

"What's left to do during the time I'm not with you?" He shrugged, still smiling widely. He looked like a little boy about to receive the biggest present of all lying under the Christmas tree, and his childish enthusiasm made me giggle. "But I don't want to set the house on fire, so you have to help me."

"Be rational, Edward! I can't cook! I plus kitchen equals a total disaster! It's more probable for ME to set something on fire!"

"If this 'something' is an oven, then it'll be a good sign." He winked at me, joking.

"No way am I doing this." I shook my head furiously. "Anything I'll make won't be edible. Besides, I'll make a whole lot of mess. And I'll cut myself."

Edward caught my head in his hands to immobilize it and spoke softly: "I wouldn't let that happen." He kissed my forehead. "And any mess made I will clean up in a blink of an eye. You're here only to help me, you won't be making it alone. I'll do most of the job. Your duty is to watch over me so that I'll make everything right." He winked.

The day of apocalypse came… "Okay then…" I sighed, resigned.

The vampire smiled even wider at my answer and kissed my forehead again.

"But let's make something for beginners; I don't want to be in this country tonight if we destroy the kitchen."

"You're just trying to duck out of it 'cause you're chicken," he teased.

"What?! I am not!" I yelled, offended.

"Are too."

"Am not!"

"Are too."

"Am not!!" He was going to continue this childish argument but I cut him short: "And stop acting like a friggin' kid!" That sufficiently closed his mouth. "Okay now, give me that book. I'll choose something reasonable," I growled.

"Actually, I've already chosen a suitable recipe…" My boyfriend smirked and handed me the tome, opened on a specific page. I took it and instantly snorted. It was the Mushroom Ravioli! _I should have guessed!_ I thought, amused. _Oh well, I suppose since I'm Bella in this story, I should also give it a try._

However, as I was reading the recipe my eyes were getting wider and wider. "'1/4 cup of sliced shiitake and oyster mushrooms, 1/2 cup of sliced cremini and white button mushrooms, 2 sliced garlic cloves, 1/4 cup of butter, 1/4 teaspoon of fresh ground black pepper, 1/8 teaspoon of sea salt, 1/4 teaspoon of onion and garlic powder, 1/8 cup of beef broth, 1 tablespoon of olive oil, 1 cup of ricotta cheese, 1/4 cup of parmesan cheese, 1/2 cup of coarsely chopped mixed mushrooms…' Where will we get all that from, now?!"

"I have already bought everything." He tapped the shopping bags, which were lying on the table.

I shook my head with incredulity; he really thought this through. I could do nothing more than go along with his crazy idea. "So we have…" I took a look at the clock, "about three hours before my parents arrive. Let's get this over with and quick!" I rolled my sleeves up to my elbows and we set to work.

The first thing to do was the filling. I turned the oven on and put the suitable amount of butter on the frying pan, luckily not burning myself in the process. When the butter melted, I added olive oil. Then, Edward placed mushrooms on the hot liquid. I peeked into the book.

"Cover them up. We have to wait for them to release their juices."

The entire time the vampire was looking intently on the transparent lid. I decided not to interfere while fire was included; it was a sure way for me to hurt myself so I only gave my boyfriend instructions and watched him cooking. He was concentrated on his task, careful not to miss anything; he looked like the man of the house. Finally, he removed the pan from the fire and I joined him in blending cheese with the mixture after it cooled down.

The funniest part was making dough. We smeared the countertop, the floor and even walls with flour, eggs and the sticky mass. Not to mention ourselves. My clothes were totally ruined, as were Edward's! Not caring about this, we were chasing each other around the table (him at human speed to allow me to win sometimes) and trying to make even more mess, touching our faces and hair until we were all sticky and felt as if we were plastered. The apartment was shaking with our loud irrepressible laughter. Never before in my life had I had so much fun.

It took us some time to finish kneading the dough with our constant jokes, but we finally managed to do it. We were a little hurried then with filling the ravioli; there was only a little time left for us to finish and clean up that disorder before my parents were back. To prevent any problems with spilled blood, the vampire was the one to cut the filled sheets of dough into nice squares.

The finished pieces were waiting on the table, drying, giving us an hour to clean ourselves before cooking. Edward ran to his house to change in some other clothes. I probably shouldn't have, but I worried that despite his vampire speed, someone would see him and cause panic in the city, and consequently put my boyfriend in real danger. I redressed and washed myself quickly, but he was still faster than me; when I went out of the bathroom he was already back, looking refreshed. He smirked at me.

"Now you go watch TV and relax, and I'm going back to the kitchen." He led me to the living room.

"What for?" I was confused. "There's nothing to do, the ravioli's drying now."

"Someone has to tidy up the chaos we made." He chuckled.

_Hol__y shit! I totally forgot about that!_ "I'll help you!" I demanded rather than offered.

"Oh no, my dear. You're staying here." He forced me to sit in the armchair. "I promised to do this and so I will." Then, he disappeared.

I tried to feel comfortable reclining in my seat, but I couldn't. How could I sit there doing nothing while my boyfriend was doing one hell of a job? And the fact that I was the main cause for the need of his work wasn't helping at all!

I didn't have to fidget there too much. It took about fifteen minutes for Edward to get back, still clean and perfect as always. _Well, almost always, _I corrected in my mind reminding myself of his recent state of disarray.

"Don't tell me you're done because I won't believe you." I stood up to check what he'd done. He just shrugged as I passed him heading to the kitchen. As soon as I entered the room my jaw dropped. All was shiny and clean! When I last was there, all was covered in white and creamy spots and splatters, but after just a quarter in his hands it looked like new! This man was unbelievable.

"Wow," was all I managed to stutter.

"I told you I'll do it in a blink of an eye." He sounded offended. "You should have more faith in me."

"I will." I nodded, quite impressed by his housework skills.

It was high time to finish the ravioli. Edward was making some special sauce, which left me alone with the dangerous boiling water. After 15 minutes, I carefully took the ravioli out of the pot with a skimmer and left it to dry; at the same time Edward finished his work.

In the same second, the front door opened and my parents entered the apartment.

"Isabel!" my mother called to check on me like she always did; I rolled my eyes at her predictability.

"Go see them, I'll prepare the meal," Edward whispered to me, smiling. I sighed and rushed to great my parents.

"Hi!" I said smugly, leaning into a wall, waiting for them to hang their coats. They seemed happy and still flush from the emotions their little trip caused. They acted almost like teenagers; I'd never seen them like that.

"Hi! Were there any problems?" my mother tried to go back to her usual annoying parental state.

"No… Should there have been any?" I raised one eyebrow in confusion. I wouldn't want her to know what happened, especially not about missing school because of a hangover. These were the two most delicate topics. She was very touchy when it came to my school; it was connected with something along the lines of 'the care of a child's education' but it didn't change the fact that she was overreacting. And alcohol was even higher on her list of forbidden things. She was always telling me that I have to be careful of this 'devil's creation'; alcoholism was in my genes from my two grandfathers, so in her opinion it was highly probable for me to follow their fates.

She shrugged. "Oh, I don't know. You could have gotten drunk for all I know! You're quite unpredictable sometimes."

Sixth sense, would you call it? Maybe my abilities were also genetically inherited? Sometimes I couldn't help but think that.

"What do you think?! Do I look like some old drunkard with a nose like a cauliflower?!" I called in an offended voice. Lying was one of my many talents. I think I should have actually become an actress with my well-trained skills. I don't know what I'd have done if I was so much like Bella also in this area; my parents would probably want to kill me at least once a week, which would make my already hard life a real torture.

Mom was going to say something unpleasant, judging by her expression, but I cut her short. "Come on, we've made dinner. Hurry up before it gets cold." I marched towards the kitchen, looking over my shoulder to check if they were following me. They glanced at each other, shock evident on their faces. I smirked inwardly. Ha! They obviously hadn't expected me to do anything so extreme while they had been away. But to tell the truth, I wouldn't have either.

The ravioli was waiting for us on the table, artistically decorated with the sauce and some herbs (another thing that made me and Edward fit perfectly – he had an artistic sense). When my parents saw what we made, without destroying the room, their mouths hit the floor. And I'm not exaggerating. Okay, maybe a little.

"You made this?" my dad asked Edward. I knew exactly what he was insinuating.

"WE made it, dad," I said crossing my arms over my chest. I'd done almost as much of the job as Edward, I deserved a bit of respect, dammit! They had so little faith in me!

_Again that scared look! I wouldn't try to give them poisoned food, for god's sake! I'm not stupid! Where would I take money from if I'd killed them?_

The tension in the air was almost tangible as they sat by the table and prepared themselves for 'the dinner of doom'. I couldn't blame them, really; my latest cooking achievements hadn't been fabulous, to say the least. It's a shame to admit, but the only thing I was able to do properly were sandwiches. And even while making those I was sometimes able to cut myself. Yes, I was actually THAT horrible. I was also nervous watching my parents take their first bites of the food; and the fact that I hadn't checked if it was edible wasn't helping at all. So when their expressions changed from hesitant to pleasantly shocked, I breathed with relief.

"It's good!" my father said in disbelief.

"See! And you didn't want to believe it!" I pretended to be offended but had a huge smile on my face which gave me away. I took my own plate and ate it all in a short while. It was REALLY good! Who would have thought that some food I had touched in the making process with my cursed clumsy hands would be THAT good?

When we finished, Edward helped me washing the dishes while my parents went to look through the photos they'd made. I peeked at the clock and my smile faded; it was getting late.

"It's late. I should go," the vampire said as if he could read my mind. Or was it me who was sending a mental message to him? Sometimes I couldn't help but to believe that with the way my thoughts corresponded with others'.

"Don't go yet." I pouted looking at him with the puppy-dog eyes that, according to my friend, Megan, was making me look irresistibly cute.

My boyfriend only chuckled and led me to the hall; or rather dragged me there, because I stubbornly didn't want to move. I wasn't ready for him to go yet. No matter how long he'd be with me, I still didn't have enough of him. I wondered if I ever would. He was the force that held me to the Earth; without him I would loose myself in my mind, close myself in my own world, trapped within the walls of my imagination. I had been already close to that state when he'd found me.

I forgot all about my pouting when he kissed me. It was just a soft series of pecks, but the amount of love behind them made my head swim. Automatically, I put my arms around his neck, before a sudden noise from the living room shook me out of my dazed state, reminding me of my parents, who could catch us any minute making out in the doorway. It would bring no good.

"Let's move it outside," I whispered as I unglued myself from his lips.

I was only answered with his mischievous grin before he pulled me out the door and down the stairs. The whole time, he was holding me steadily in his arms, kissing my face, so I didn't even noticed when we reached the front door of the building. As soon as the realization of what this meant came, I clung to Edward for dear life, clutching him tightly by the waist.

"I'm guessing you won't let me go if I ask nicely," he asked, a smile obvious in his voice.

"Mmhmmm…" I hummed unintelligibly in his shirt as an answer. He laughed but held me tighter to him. He put his face in the crook of my neck, inhaling deeply.

"I think I can wait five more minutes…" he murmured into my throat, his cold breath making me shiver. I sighed when he started trailing feather-light kisses along my neck. Occasionally, I would stand on my tip-toes to leave a few of my own on his skin. I was just wondering if I could make vampire a hickey when I heard someone clearing his throat loudly behind us. I spun around to see my neighbor looking at us with a mix of annoyance, disgust and amusement.

"Would you mind not canoodling on the way out? Some people actually want to walk there."

Oh. My. God. This made me REALLY blush! How could Edward not hear this man coming?! Apparently, he was too preoccupied to pay attention to the surroundings… I should have been pleased that I had this kind of effect on him, but at the time the only thing I was able to think about was the utter mortification. I felt so humiliated that I could have just curled up and die. You would have thought that I would be more worried about the previous night's events, but I didn't remember them much so I didn't actually know what to worry about. Besides, I didn't know the people that had seen me there, and here my own neighbor saw me! My 'no PDA' rule had been just torn to shreds…

The man made his way past us and out the door. As soon as he was out of sight, I banged my head on my boyfriend's chest so hard it actually hurt and hid my tomato-red face in his shirt. He put his hands gently on my shoulders, soothing the stress.

"I'm sorry, I didn't hear him coming," he spoke apologetically. "I wasn't listening. Next time I'll pay more attention."

"There will be no next time," I said strongly, raising my head. I felt him tense and his arms dropped.

"I-I'm really sorry, I…"

"There will be no next time…" I repeated, louder this time to cut his worried babbling, "Because next time we will choose a better place." I looked up in time to see the tension on his face disappear and his mouth forming a small smile. "What did you think I'd meant?" I asked rhetorically, knowing the answer well enough and showing him with my voice that it was stupid of him. I wouldn't want to ditch him for something so silly and meaningless, for all vampires' sakes!

I pecked his lips and quickly pulled away to avoid being caught by another neighbor. That was when I noticed it – a small envelope sticking out of my mail box. I felt a prick of annoyance; couldn't the postman have been more careful?! Anyone could have taken and read that! Grumbling some invectives about Polish Post Office under my breath, I snatched the blue paper out of the box. The series of profanities stopped short as I saw that there was no stamp on the letter; it couldn't have been sent by mail. Someone put it there alone. There was my name written in black swinging letters, slightly too small for my liking, on the top of the envelope. It couldn't have been an anonymous threatening letter; it was handwritten. Hesitantly, I opened it. Inside, there was a piece of blue paper with only two sentences written in the same style as my name on the cover.

_**I've finally found you, my love.**_

_**It's time for me to fulfill my promise.**_

Nothing more, no signature. I turned the sheet but there was nothing to be found.

"What do you have there?" I heard my boyfriend's cheerful voice behind me. Using my bewilderment caused by the strange message to his advantage, he stole the letter from my hands. I let him read it, knowing he'd see it through my memories with his next touch anyway. With him in my life, I would never have much of a personal space so I just had to cope with it, even though it sometimes annoyed the hell out of me.

At that time, I had more important things on my mind that my privacy, or lack thereof. _What was the note supposed to mean? Who was the author and about what promise was he writing? And why the hell did he call me HIS LOVE?!_

I heard Edward's sharp intake of breath and spun around to face him. He was still looking at the blue paper and I noticed shock and incredulity crossing his face.

"Edward…?"

When he lifted his head, his expression was blank, but what I saw in his eyes made my breath hitch and my heart drop. They were completely black, like two coals. I knew this look. It wasn't the bloodlust that caused the change; it was rage.

_Oh, shit. I am in trouble._

* * *

**A/N: Finally, I managed to finish the new chapter. I hope you're all happy and content now. :P**

**With my impending Matura exam I have really little time of my own; I'm only learning and reading books for a speaking part of my Polish exam (I'm going to talk about vampires :D). My mom is very strict when it comes to school, but she's only making it worse, 'cause when she forces me to learn I just want to do the opposite… :P**

**So it will probably take some time for me to write more of this story. Besides, drawing is still my priority (I'm going to try it at the University :)). By the time I was writing this chapter, I managed to make a bunch of new pictures. :D You may see them on my profile. :) There is also an illustration for the first chapter made by me and a few pictures made by my friends for me with the characters from the story. Oh, and I've made a new poll so go and vote now!**

**If you want the next chapter to come quicker, give me reviews! They're like my fuel, even better than blood! Okay, maybe not better… :P While, for a vampire-artist like me, blood is like a full-blown orgasm, a good review (telling me what you liked in the chapter and what not) is like a mini mental orgasm. :D So give me LOTS of reviews and they'll cumulate into a full-blown one! XD stands on a chair and waves her arms like a semaphore X3**


	18. 27th November: Tuesday

**27.11 Tuesday **

Lying on my bed in the morning, I marveled at the miracle that allowed me to return here yesterday alive. For one moment of horror, I had been sure it would have been the last second of my life. After all, I had known all along that it would happen sooner or later, that Edward's control would finally snap. He had wanted to kill me that first day in the demolished building, and the fact that he had claimed to love me some time after that hadn't changed who he was – a vampire. I had always known the image of those creatures in 'Twilight' was too good to be true and for not even a second had I forgotten about what the name of the species really meant. A vampire was supposed to be a deadly monster who fed on human blood without even a slight hint of remorse. In some of the stories about them, they didn't even have a defined personality; all they were capable of thinking was of relieving their eternal thirst, drowning it in the hot, tasty liquid flowing through our veins. Their world was ruled by their bloodlust. The image was all I needed to justify Edward's mood swings and his problems with bad temper. No matter how much he tried to be human, he couldn't become one; just like I couldn't change into a vampire with only a force of my imagination. Although my life with him had became whole and happy (despite our constant problems), there was no doubt in my mind that I would end up dying by his hand; or teeth, for that matter. I considered it a price I had to pay, because for everything in this world, we had to pay sometime.

So when I had seen the look of pure rage in my boyfriend's eyes, I had been sure my death hour had come. I could have sworn he had lost himself! But nothing had prepared me for what he had done next.

_**Flashback**_

_The darkness faded from his face and he laughed loudly, throwing hi__s head back, making me consider him insane. As surprisingly as they started, his fits subsided. _

"_Someone's trying to pick you up, I see." His light tone was forced, it was plain to see. "How can he succeed while I'm here?" He winked at me, attempting to lighten the mood, but failing. I was still looking at him in shock, unable to say anything. Edward's face fell slightly. "Stupid jokes," he almost growled, squashing the letter in his hands into a small ball and tucking it in his pocket. His strong arms wrapped around my waist and he pulled me to him, forcefully claiming my lips with his. It looked like he found a new outlet for his raging anger, and I had to admit, it was much more pleasurable than smashing cars and other objects that were so unlucky to be around – including me. I could still feel all his emotions through the kiss: disbelief, rage, jealousy… desperation?_

_He pulled away, too soon for my liking, and touched his forehead to mine. "Should I worry about this?" Again, I felt desperation radiating from him. He always seemed so sure of himself… but he was not. It made him look so… human._

"_Absolutely not," I rasped, out of breath after our heated kiss._

_His smile was like the sun after a storm; so beautiful and full of hope. "Then I won't." And he dove in for my lips again, this time more gently._

_**End of flashback**_

It had appeared then that Edward had had much more self-control than I had been giving him credit for. _Could he be more perfect?_ I thought. The answer came unwelcomed: yes, yes he could. He could be more like those ideal characters from romance novels; always gentle and caring. Though I was not peerless either, so I wasn't expecting him to be, knowing the world too well to still believe there to be a flawless man out there. Here with him, it would be as close to perfect as I would ever have, and risking my life to have it was a very adequate price.

I stood up to find an excuse note that was justifying my absence in school, written in my mother's handwriting, lying on my desk. I smirked at the similarity; it was just a mystification made by Edward. We both had agreed that my parents shouldn't know about my little 'adventure' and had decided to make up a very probable tale for my teachers. With a bit of luck, my parents would never know about the humiliating story.

After fulfilling my daily routine as quickly as I could, I jumped out of the apartment and down the stairs, taking two steps at a time. No sooner had I walked outside did I realize that there was nothing I should be in hurry for. The sun was out, the sky clear blue with no trace of clouds in sight. The shine was even able to lighten up the gloomy fall landscape, puddles of mud and half-rotten fallen leaves covering the pavement. It was the first beautiful day in a long time. But for me, it was far from beautiful; the good weather meant that I wouldn't meet Edward. There was no way he would show up in public with his skin glistening in the sun in a very inhuman, though exquisite, manner.

My mood instantly fell and my pace changed from brisk to snail slow. I dragged myself through the street with a deep disappointed sigh. Suddenly, a sharp noise of a car horn cut through the silence, causing me to jump in surprise. For a moment I thought that some car was going to crash into me, but when I anxiously looked around I saw that there was no such risk. Instead, I spotted with astonishment a familiar white Mercedes in the parking lot. With my eyes almost popping out of their sockets at my vampire's incredible and stupid bravery, I rushed to the car, closing the door behind me as fast as I could.

"What are you doing here?!" I hissed at my boyfriend, throwing my bag on the backseat.

"It's nice to see you, too," he said bitterly and turned the key in the ignition. I looked at him disapprovingly, not letting his words throw me off the track. He sighed heavily as he took a glimpse of my expression. "I thought you'd be happy to see me…" he muttered.

"I am happy," I confirmed, though my face and harsh words weren't very convincing. "But that doesn't change the fact that this is simply reckless! What if someone sees you glittering?!"

"No one will. I will not go out of the car and into the sun. The windows are tinted so I will not make anyone even a bit suspicious. Don't worry." He was looking through the windshield. I could feel that I killed his mood, but I couldn't help that; someone had to be the responsible one in this relationship. When he continued to stare intently, but unnecessarily at the road in the gloomy silence, I rolled my eyes at him.

"Stop sulking around, Edward. I just don't want you to get in trouble! You should be happy that I worry so much about you!" I said, putting my hand over his on the steering wheel.

"I know." He sighed deeply again and turned towards me with an apologetic smile. "I'm sorry."

I smiled at him and pecked his cheek quickly because we were almost to the school parking lot already.

"I won't be there after your classes today," my boyfriend said while parking the car. "I have some important matter to attend to. And I wouldn't want you to worry too much about me getting caught in the sunlight." The last sentence was only to distract me, I knew that; I didn't let him brainwash me.

"Important matter?" I raised one eyebrow at him with a smirk. His smile widened but he didn't go on with the subject. _How interesting…_ "You know you won't get rid of me easily now after you aroused my interest?"

He chuckled. "I'll tell you when the time comes," he said, kissing my forehead. "Have a nice day, love."

I was pouting when I stepped out of the Mercedes and headed right to the school, not peeking behind me at the car driving off like I'd usually done. _Is he going to cause the death of me, using my extreme nosiness?! That evil creature!_

I never would have expected the calmness that washed over me when I walked in the school building. Recently, so much had been happening in my life that going back to the surrounding of this institution seemed to calm my nerves with its predictability. Just lessons, teachers, tests, classmates… nothing out of ordinary for a few hours.

As I reached my classroom door, I realized how wrong I'd been. _Ordinary, my ass!_ I thought. My life seemed not to want to fit into that category any more. There, among a group of girls, was standing the person that helped to sow a seed of self-consciousness in Edward's heart, the suspected victim of my boyfriend's anger and the cause of my never-ending worry in one tall and tan body. WhiteIsa.

The fact that she was on her feet so soon after the accident surprised me a little, though she probably just hadn't wanted to miss too much school. She had a cast on her right leg, two crutches were supporting her weight. Quickly, so as not to be spotted by her and cause any more damage to our probably already ended friendship, I walked to the open room and took my usual seat by the first table on the right. If she didn't want to know me anymore, she would have to sit elsewhere; I had no intention of moving my lazy ass from this comfortable place where no one bothered me. I wasn't the kind of person to stay angry at my friend very long; I would forgot the whole quarrel if she wanted me to. But I wasn't going to go to her if she didn't want me, either. I knew my place and I had my dignity. I wasn't putting my nose where they obviously weren't happy to see me, to say the least.

I didn't have to wait long for Isa to show up. A minute later, she came through the door to the almost empty classroom. She sat next to me, not looking in my direction, and then became almost completely still, only shifting uncomfortably from time to time. I busied myself with rearranging my things on the desk.

"You were right." I heard her voice and turned abruptly in her direction with shock and disbelief surely visible on my face. It wasn't only the fact that she had spoken to me that surprised me, but also her words. _Has she just admitted that I was right, or am I just hearing things?!_ "You were right," she repeated, seeing the question written in my eyes. "He was no good for me."

I sighed heavily. In moments like that I considered my ability a curse. I knew bad things were bound to happen and I could do nothing about it, even if I tried. Every attempt on acting like a hero always ended up badly, especially for me. "I should probably say 'I told you so' but it wouldn't make any of us happier," I said with bitterness. "What happened?" Isa stiffened and made an expression like she was about to cry. "It's okay, you don't have to tell me," I assured her. _Though if you don't I'll be wondering for nights to come and become a gossip zombie,_ I finished in my mind.

She let out a shaky breath. "He had a child," came her quiet whisper, "with that girl he cheated on me with that time. He had promised to marry her but now he refuses. And she wasn't the first…" She sobbed suddenly. "The rest of them chose abortion. He's been using us!"

I handed her a pack of tissues. I had to force myself not to nod knowingly, but throughout her story, I'd been thinking _Just what I'd thought._ I don't have any idea how I'd known that, I just… had. My 'fortune-telling' was as simple as that.

"I'm sorry about all the horrible things I said back then…" Isa started after wiping her nose clean, but I interrupted.

"Don't apologize. Let's just… forget it ever happened?" I suggested desperately. I wasn't fond of tragic crying scenes with running make up and clumsy hugs, like from the stupid soap operas my mother loved to watch; especially not in public.

My newly returned friend smiled at me happily through her tears and, to my utter horror, fell on my neck, crushing me in a ribs-breaking apologetic embrace. Uncomfortably, I put my arms around her and patted her back. The moment of our reunion should have probably looked more like the ones from the movies: two girls crying, hugging and throwing apologies for everything they could. But I couldn't have even embraced my best friend properly. I felt like some retarded person! I couldn't even say 'I'm sorry' without a mental fight, not to mention showing deeper affection. Love, no matter if it was of the friendly, platonic or passionate kind, was still a taboo for me. You would've thought that I was still a child inside, but I really didn't care about the others' opinions, and that's what makes kids so strange when it comes to feelings. There was something wrong with me, with the way I shut myself inside. After being a very caring and emotional child, I turned into an empty shell, shielding myself from everything that might have hurt me. The one thing that had happened had made me incapable of feeling anything deep inside. While on the outside I claimed to be attached to someone – hell, I knew for sure I was attached! – Inside me there was nothing. And endless wasteland, the only thing in sight, was a broken trust. No, it hadn't been a man that had hurt me, it was far worse than that. The one I had believed with my whole life had made a fool of me, betraying me in the worst way possible. All my childhood had crumbled down to never rise from the ashes again, leaded to the non-existing by _Him_. I knew exactly what I'd become, but I still couldn't destroy the walls that separated my heart from my mind's feelings with after that time. Even if my brain told me I loved somebody, the heart only answered _Pff. That's impossible. There's no such thing as love._ That was how it all went; a circle of distrust and disbelief I couldn't set free from.

Again, I was battling with myself, trying to regain some sort of human feelings and finally act like someone of my kind and not some soulless monster. If I didn't strongly believed that I loved Isa – in a best-friend kind of way – I wouldn't have managed not to run away shouting. Instead, I was holding her, letting her tears stain my shirt while soothingly stroking her back. My rational mind was still working full-force, analyzing her story and trying not to think too much about the uncomfortable position I was in.

"You haven't slept with him, have you?" I chose not the best moment to ask her.

Her head instantly shot up; she wasn't happy with me now. "Of course not! Who do you think I am?!"

"You're Isa?" I shrugged. She opened her mouth with an angry expression, but I didn't let her say a word. "Look, I just want to know where we are and what we should do to win this situation with a poker face. I intended you no offense."

"You're always destroying the mood," she mumbled.

"I'm just being rational," I defended myself, though I knew she'd been right. "Now, should I kick his ass?" An evil smirk must have appeared on my face. I couldn't let some jerk who had hurt my friend walk around unharmed, could I?

Isa snickered. "And what could you do to him?" she mocked. "You'd surely beat the crap out of him!"

"A castration may be a good option, I think." I contemplated the idea in my head. It would restrain him from making any more damage to the society, that's for sure. I felt my smirk widen; my dark side was getting the best of me.

White shook her head with a sigh. "Stop your stupid evil plots. I've taken care of him already!"

_Wow. I wouldn't have expected __that from my good old Isa…_ "You cut his dick off by yourself?!" I asked a little too loudly, my eyes wide.

This caused her to burst into laughter, though I didn't see anything funny in what I'd said. "No, silly!" she uttered in between chuckles. "I made him pay for the accident."

"But that's no fun!" I whined, which made her laugh louder. "He should suffer for what he'd done!" my voice got strong, fire raging under my skin. The monster that had born after the destruction in my heart purred, feeding on my devilment and anger. He was making the hurt almost bearable…

"He won't be hurt physically, but he would surely suffer financial consequences." It was Isa's turn to smile mischievously. "The other girls he'd used contacted me and we're going to make him pay for EVERYTHING. This is gonna cost him a lot!"

A ring of the school-bell stopped us from continuing our discussion, as our classmates entered the room, closely followed by the teacher. The lesson started and everyone stuck their noses in their textbooks or listened to the professor, but I wasn't paying attention.

It was surfacing again. This thing that I'd been keeping locked up to accompany the Hurt was breaking free from its bonds, fed with my anger enough to show up. I didn't know what it was, but it frightened me. It was making me consider the worst things possible in my head, see terrifying images and actually ENJOY it all! It was all I could do not to take a knife and act on some of those crazy bloody fantasies sometimes. There were moments when I thought I lost control over my body! That's how strong those desires were. I hated myself for this afterwards. I hated how my mind was not strong enough to restrain this Monster.

It was the only thing left in my heart beside the Hurt – the Hate. The evil part that was making me sadistic, making me want to CAUSE the suffering. Some time had passed since I last had to deal with it. I'd thought that I had overpowered it completely, crushed it to the microscopic worse part of self that everyone has… but it had been growing stronger ever since. Every argument, every bad word, every scar on my mind was like a stir in its sleep. And now it was waking. It was waking…

I almost sobbed helplessly at this fearful thought. I didn't want to change into some soulless monster walking around and slaughtering everyone in sight, feeding on the blood flowing from their wounds… _I keep the vampire inside me,_ I thought, spotting the analogy that had been with me all along with a sad smile. _Maybe that's why I got so interested in Edward?_ We were so alike. But I was still worse. It was natural for Edward to act on his instincts. I was merely a human, a supposed-to-be prey; I had no right to claim myself to be higher on the food ladder. I didn't even want to.

_I'm a hypocrite, _I thought, hiding my face in my hands and leaning over the desk. _I was angry at Edward for killing the History teacher for me, but I want to do such horrible things myself…_ I could have justified myself that I just wanted a revenge for hurting my best friend… But it would have been a lie. I only wanted to satiate this need deep inside me. Because their suffering soothed my own. The Monster in me growled in agreement.

"Are you okay?" Isa asked with worry written all over her face.

It wasn't until then did I realize I was crying. My cheeks were moist with the tears that were spilling freely. Quickly, I wiped them away with my sleeve, cursing silently. I was NOT weak. I couldn't be. I shouldn't let her see those marks of weakness. I shouldn't have made them in the first place.

"What's going on there?!" the professor shouted at us. _Just great! Come on! Attract more attention to this broken crap of a girl, why not?!_

"Um… Isabel's not feeling well… May I take her out for a while?" Isa asked shyly.

The teacher's expression softened when she saw my face. _Do I really look that bad? _"Of course. Take care of her."

_This is my chance!_ I stood up quickly, almost knocking my chair off in the process, and rushed out of the classroom, leaving my things on the table. I'd take care of them later, now I had to escape the crowd. White followed close behind me. I used her to separate myself from prying eyes of my classmates and successfully emerged from the room, hopefully not seen by anyone in my poor state. As I was finally out of their sights and hear, Isa stopped me and leaned over me.

"Are you okay?" she repeated her previous question.

"Yeah," I grumbled, my voice a little husky from my tears. I felt stupid for showing my weakness like that. Never before had I cracked up in front of people! I also felt bad for involving Isa in this situation and almost using her to get my sorry ass out of the humiliating position I'd been in; caught crying in the classroom. She should have been sitting in class now, absorbing the knowledge, not standing here and worrying about me!

She was looking at me as if she didn't believe me (I hadn't been very convincing, I had to admit). For a moment, I considered telling her everything that was on my mind, but I dismissed it quickly. She was already too deeply involved by simply being my friend; if I was to finally snap, she might be one of my first victims. A shiver of fear crawled down my spine. _Will I really become a savage beast...?_

"I'm alright, really. I just have some… problems," I tried to cease Isa's worry.

"With Edward?" she instantly concluded.

"No, no." I shook my head, too wrapped up in my thoughts to answer properly. I hadn't had any problems with the Hate since primary school… What had changed that now?

"So you get on well together?"

"More or less…" Then it all fell into place. THAT'S what had changed! I hadn't had Edward then! When he'd come into my life, everything had become different. No wonder my heart started changing, too. But why was it transforming in such a strange way? Was it because he was a vampire, the one that was so akin to the Monster inside me...? One mystery solved, another one up.

I took a deep breath and calmed myself, forcing my expression to return to my normal façade. "We can go back to class now," I said with determination after checking my face for any trace of dried tears or smudged make-up.

My friend looked at me in disbelief. "You sure?"

"Absolutely."

She shrugged and leaded the way, but I still felt her unsure glances on me as we walked.

For the rest of the lessons I tried not to think of my 'little inner problem'. I knew that analyzing it further now would only cause me to break down again. I didn't want to lose any more of my dignity. So I tried to act as naturally as I could.

Only a few of my friends had really noticed something wrong had happened, but I diminished their concerns with laughter and a couple of well-chosen words. I didn't like to be in the center of attention, especially not from being accused of failing. Throughout my whole life, I'd taken care of my personal matters just fine alone, thanks.

When the final bell rang I sighed with gratitude. I had enough of those probing looks, checking if I was about to faint or have a breakdown any minute. My only hope was that they would forget the whole thing tomorrow.

I grabbed my coat, threw a reassuring smile at Isa and got out of the school building as quickly as I could. The sun was still shining bright and made me feel a little better, despite Edward's absence. Although someone other than my vampire boyfriend was waiting for me today…

As I was walking across the schoolyard, someone made his way through the crowd of youth to me. Said someone was a quite tall, well-built, blonde man, probably my age. He wasn't a student of my school; I was sure I hadn't seen him there before. The boy stood in may way and put his palms on my shoulders.

"Wha-" I started to say angrily, but was cut short when he pulled me to him into an almost bear hug.

_What the heck?! _My mind screamed. I put my hands on his jacket-clad chest and tried to push him away, only managing to get an almost-arm-long distance between us.

"What the fuck are you doing?!" I yelled at him, drawing some much unneeded attention to us.

"Finally…" he breathed a sigh and tried to hug me again, my blocked arm successfully keeping him in place.

"Who are you and what do you want?" I demanded firmly. He didn't look like some crazy pervert, and if he was one, he shouldn't have assaulted me so shamelessly in the school area; it would be stupid, to say the least.

His face visibly fell and he stopped struggling to reach me, taking a step back. "You don't remember me?" he asked sadly.

I shook my head hesitantly. I should have remembered if I'd met him before… I looked more carefully at his face, cocking my head to the side: blue eyes, straight brows, slightly too big lips and a mark on a left cheek. _Wait, a mark on the cheek?!_

"Thomas...?" I asked with uncertainty and disbelief.

He smiled at me, happy with my right answer. A huge grin appeared on my face. It was Thomas, my childhood friend and my first love. We had always been together, inseparable all through kindergarten, but afterwards I'd never seen him again.

"What are you doing here?" I started to walk, motioning for him to follow me; we were getting too much attention, a few people were even whispering to each other while staring unashamedly at us.

"I was looking for you!" Thomas told me. "After kindergarten I moved with my parents to another city, quite far away. Then they died, leaving me no clue about my past here. When I started searching for you, it took some time to get on the right track. I was looking on the Internet, but you're so hard to find!"

I snickered. "Yeah, I try not to put much information about me on display. There's always a risk of someone finding me in real life, just like you did… Damn, I will have to reduce the amount of details on there again…" I looked at him accusingly and he grinned smugly in return. "Besides, I prefer people not knowing about my real personality. It's enough for me that they know that I'm related to Margaret in this town." I made a face at the thought of my mother.

"Don't exaggerate; your mom's not that bad. I remember her a little."

"You only know what she's like among others. I assure you that at home she's more than bad."

We were walking slowly towards my home, talking about our childhood and what had happened since that time. I was constantly laughing at his funny stories and I didn't even notice when we reached the building. He wouldn't let me go, all the time telling stories and asking me for my own ones. He was so excited that I had to put my hand on his mouth to stop his cheerful rambling.

"Hey, you'll wear your tongue off if you don't stop talking!"

"But I have so much to tell you," he whined.

I couldn't stop laughing at his childish enthusiasm. "We can continue this tomorrow, if you want. Now, I have a lot of homework to do."

His face instantly lit up. "So how about pizza? I'll pick you up from school. What time do your classes end?" he was throwing words with the speed of a machine-gun; I couldn't help but laugh more.

"Pizza is okay and I finish at two."

"I'll be waiting in the schoolyard then." He peeked at his watch. "Oh, shit! I'm gonna miss my train!" He pecked my cheek quickly in a friendly manner and ran in the direction of the railway station, accompanied with the sound of my laughter.

_It's so good to have my friends back,_ I thought, still chuckling, as I climbed up the stairs to my apartment.

* * *

**A/N: It haven't taken much time to post a new chapter this time. :) I was ill for a week and the amount of free time and lack of school enabled me to write. I got past my writer's block too, so there's more to come soon. :D**

**I finally see where I'm going with this story. It's getting a little dark and would be even darker after a bit of fooling around with Thomas. :P I may even have to change the rating soon… My friend, Megan, is very happy with the direction I'm going in with it. When I told her it's getting dark, she said, "Great, dark and erotic, a wild gothic sex!" XD Maybe I'll listen to her. ;) But I dunno if my beta, Elizabeth (thanks for helping, hun! ^^), would like to check lemons… :P Though they wouldn't be strict lemons (if I decide to make any), I'm not that perverted (I think :P). XD**

**The last chapter didn't get the response I expected. I got only two reviews, including the one from my beta! Doesn't anyone read it anymore? Or are you just to lazy to motivate me? I need reviews to post, you know? I can't walk around the town all the time and slaughter people to get the energy! I need the ecologic fuel as well – ad that means MORE REVIEWS! You don't want to risk lives of innocent people, right? :P**

**DEAR READER, LEAVE ME A PIECE OF YOUR MIND IN A REVIEW. HELP SAVE HUMANS FROM CRAZY ARTIST VAMPIRES! :D **

**And don't forget to vote in my poll. ;)**

**P.S. On the Valentine's Day I'll post a short one-shot with Isabel and Edward for all of you as a Valentine gift. :) Look for it on 14****th**** February on my profile. ;)**


	19. 28th November: Wednesday

**A/N: I'm halfway through with my Matura exam. I had Polish on Monday, then English, and today it was Social Knowledge (or whatever it's called in English :P). This Monday I have Biology, then two speaking tests (Polish and English) and then IT WILL BE OVER! And I'll have 4 MONTHS free of school! :D I'll ****be writing then aaaaaaall the tiiiiiime! :D So just wish me luck with my exam so that the stress of not knowing whether I'd get accepted for the university or not would not disturb my writing. ;)**

**And now on with the story. :D**

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**28.11 Wednesday**

A bad feeling woke me up this morning, getting stronger and stronger with each passing second. But no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't place it, couldn't tell what it related to specifically. Frustrated with my incapacity to interpret my fortune-telling ability, I gave finally up. _I should practice more so my fortune telling would be more precise,_ I thought angrily while getting up.

I didn't have to hurry this time due to my early waking. I took my time in the bathroom, calming my nerves with a warm shower. Sitting by the kitchen table and eating my breakfast, my mind drifted off to all the things that had happened recently. I had used to claim my life to be extremely boring, but now so much was going on that I barely had time to think! Truth be told, I missed the old calmness a little. Couldn't I have Edward without all those strange and surprising things happening all the time? Apparently not. If I had to choose between having the predictability back and this crazy life with Edward, I'd still prefer him. Even if he'd bring twice as many unusual events into my existence, I'd still rather be with him. I didn't know if I was really in love with him, but I knew for sure I was utterly attracted to him and couldn't let him go. And even the Monster in my heart wouldn't make me.

In spite of being slow this morning I still went out of the apartment earlier than necessary. I just couldn't stay at home and do nothing; it was only making me more anxious. The bad feeling was increasing in strength and making me pace the room in a desperate attempt to place it. The meaning was always just out of reach. So I just grabbed my bad, threw my coat on and left home in hope of meeting my boyfriend.

The weather went back to the fall gloomy standard. When I stepped outside the building I realized it was raining and I hadn't taken an umbrella. _Just great_, I thought bitterly, rushing down the pavement. Only a moment had passed before I slowed down, coming to the conclusion that no matter how fast I went, I'd be just as wet, if not more. I remembered an episode of 'Myth Busters' when they'd proved that you'd get more soaked when you run. I peeked at my watch; I was ten minutes early. An ugly curse almost left my mouth when I thought that I'd have to wait for my boyfriend to arrive standing under crying clouds. Just as I was considering sending the vampire a message, I spotted his car at the parking lot. Was he waiting for me this early every day?

Although it would get me wetter, I run to the Mercedes. There probably was a huge goofy grin on my face as I was getting in the vehicle. Only when I finally saw my Edward, the most glorious man on the face of Earth with his perfect body and captivating personality did I realize how much I missed him. It didn't matter that I'd seen him yesterday; I felt a huge relief that he was here with me again. Just as if I were addicted to him; I didn't want him to get out of my sight for any longer than really necessary. He seemed to be anxious to see me as well, because as soon as I was inside, he reached out for me and pulled me into his lap. The steering wheel made my position a little uncomfortable, but I just snuggled more into his chest and sneaked my arms around his neck. He pulled me even closer to him and put his face in my hair. My coat was getting in my way and I was just considering taking it off – it was quite warm in the car – when I felt Edward stiffen suddenly. He pulled away, holding me by my arms so he could look into my face. His expression was one of hurt mixed with anger, his irises getting dark. Warily, he searched my eyes for something, seeming to be putting some pieces of information puzzle together. After a while, I saw some sort of realization dawn on him and his jaw clenched, his hands clutching me tight as two pincers.

"It's him!" he hissed.

"What are you talking about?!" I tried in vain to wiggle free from his painful grasp.

He seemed not to hear me, engrossed in his angry thoughts. "Why have you settled a date with him?! Do you want to torture me?! Or maybe it's just a cruel way to break up with me?!"

My eyes got wide at his assumptions but I couldn't respond with anything. I was finally truly afraid of him. Never in our time together had I seen him so angry with me, never had he been this violent, used this much force on me; and I knew in his rage he could easily crush me. I realized now he had never been truly furious with me. Annoyed, yes, but not really angry. All the previous rage was nothing compared to this. He was gripping me so hard I thought he might break some bones. Quick unneeded breaths were filling his lungs; his perfect brows now knitted together, his expression fierce. I saw a hint of hurt in it, getting more prominent with each passing second and making his bottom lip tremble slightly.

He must have taken my lack of answer as a 'yes' and held me even tighter. I thought that the hurt would overpower him completely, but I was wrong; he got even angrier, if that's possible. Suddenly, he threw me on the passenger's seat. I squealed in surprise and fear. Before I could blink, he was hovering over me, holding my hands on either side of my head in a vice-like grip. I was so scared of him now I couldn't even make myself care about the steering wheel crushing my legs.

"I won't let you!" Edward growled. "I won't let you go! You're mine!"

My survival instinct was screaming at me to stop him somehow, to get out of there and save my life. But I couldn't not because I was too afraid to move; my rational part was still working just fine. I'd known it would happen after all. It had taken him some time to build the amount of anger in him to snap, but that moment finally came.

Suddenly, I was calm. No longer was I trembling with fear at the sight of my furious boyfriend. Because he wasn't my boyfriend any more. He was just what he was supposed to be all along – a beast. Not some ridiculous human-wannabe, but a real vampire. The Monster in my heart sighed with gratitude for the upcoming end of its suffering. It would be over now; everything would be over.

_Do I really want it to end like that?_ A small part of me I'd never heard before asked. It was faint and gentle, fragile like a newborn child. But the words were strong as they hit me. _Do I want all the happiness to also come to an end?_

_There was happiness in my life, I can't deny it,_ the Monster argued,_ but isn't losing it worth getting rid of the Hurt? When I die I will finally feel nothing. Isn't that what I wanted all along?_

The voices in my head confused me. I had no idea what to do. Searching for some answers, I looked up. As soon as my gaze met Edward's face, I knew. The emptiness wasn't what I wanted. I just wanted to feel something more than Hurt and Hate. And HE was making me feel it. I knew that if I tried hard I could break free from the walls inside of me and be normal again. And even though after this situation I could probably be with Edward no longer, I could try on my own to feel. He had taught me the first steps; I had to walk on my own from now on.

I struggled again to break free but his hands didn't budge. He was too wrapped up in his animalistic instincts to even notice my attempts; it was probably like a fly's touch to him. I saw him baring his sharp teeth at me. Would he have rather killed me than let me meet with Thomas? Was he that desperate for me to remain his or did he just lose control over himself? How could he have even thought that I would want to date Tom? The boy was only an old friend, for crying out loud!

"You idiot!" I called, not able to hold it inside me any longer.

Edward froze at the sound of my angry voice; it probably shook him out of his own rage reverie. Now, having his full attention, I continued with my speech.

"How could you EVER think of it that way, you moron?! I dated YOU, dammit! I'm not some fucking whore! Have you considered what I feel at all?! You're turning me into a monster, you bastard, and you don't even care!" By that time the vampire had released my arms and I was hitting his chest repeatedly in blind rage, in fact hurting myself rather than him; he could probably barely feel it. He was looking at me wide-eyed, shock overpowering any race of anger on his face. Finally, I calmed a little. Reaching for a doorknob I only told him sharply: "I'm not letting you kill me now. You've taught me how to feel and I'm going to live my life the best I can." I opened the door. "Thank you," I whispered, springing outside and down the street.

I got to school by bus, all the time fearing that Edward would come after me and finish what he had started. But he didn't. When I didn't see his white Mercedes on the school parking lot I felt a little relieved. On the other side, it made me slightly disappointed; I secretly hoped that he would come to apologize and straighten the whole misunderstanding up. But apparently, he shared my opinion on the subject; I shouldn't be with him, he was no good for me. Thinking that this very morning I swore nothing could separate me from him… made me want to cry. Made me want to go back to him and hug him close, apologizing for every blasphemy I said. However, I didn't do any of this; I knew I couldn't. All bridges had been burned. He probably hated me now anyway.

This day in school we were due to make the prom decorations. It occupied me enough to stop thinking again and again about Edward. I was obligated to draw a few dancers on huge sheets of cardboard. With some paint and brushes in hand, headphones on my ears, I set to work. The paint spilled, controlled by swinging motions of my hand that matched the rhythm of the song. I let the music guide me, create the paintings by itself, only speaking through my hands. My eyes closed and I saw a huge ballroom, decorated with gold and red fabric. Women in fancy dresses in every color of the rainbow were standing next to men in black tuxes and suits. Soft tunes played in the background and the couples started to dance, men swaying their partners around and through the room, filling every surface with satin, lace, muslin, silk and velvet. The images twirled in my mind, encouraging me to draw them. And so I did. Thinking about nothing except the dancers in my head, I filled the cardboards with parts of my inner imaginary world.

I was so wrapped up in my imagination that a ring of the school bell made me jump almost a foot in the air. It was time for a Polish lesson. _Just great… An hour of huge boredom…_ I complained internally and dragged myself to the classroom.

Of course, I was right yet again. We were talking about the image of nature in Joseph Conrad's 'The heart of the darkness'. Or rather Evelyn was talking and we were pretending to be listening. She was a girl who surely lost count of time during each visit in solarium. The orangish-brownish skin of her face was covered with tones of make-up and hidden behind long black hair, burnt with constant straightening. She should have used a hairdresser. I found her look terrible, but for many girls in school she was the epitome of real beauty, their authority. For me, such an attack of clones was nothing nice to look at. What's strange, a lot of boys were after her. It was terrifying that they were paying no attention to her face, only concentrating on her shapely body and two little deformities situated on her upper torso, supported with a push-up bra that was making them much bigger than they really were. Males were drooling at the sight of her while non-clone females were curious when her fake boobs would fall off.

Was I jealous of her? For sure I didn't envy her looks. So what was it? The envy of friends? Not likely. The group of clones? I don't think so. Popularity? Yes, that was probably the thing. I'd never been someone with a bunch of worshippers following my every step, and I hadn't longed for it. However, recently I'd come to enjoy the attention. The thought that there's no one who'd show his affection towards me made me sad. My relationship with Edward showed me that being with another person is enjoyable and fascinating, and teaches you something new every day, about the other person as well as yourself. But he belonged to the past now. I had made my decision, no matter how painful it had been. Now, I had Thomas. _That's funny. I have someone. The boy I'd known a long time ago and met only yesterday after so much time, and already I think that I have him. As a friend, but still. Or maybe it would be something more? It would be very interesting to see how the things would progress…_ That was strange. Where did that need to be close to someone came from? Before I had met Edward I hadn't felt it. He had created it in me. No, not created; he had woken it up. I had to have it before, I surely had.

Suddenly, everyone stood up. I looked around, surprised. _Oh, yeah, the bell._ After all, even such a boring lesson has to end. Nothing's eternal. Okay, vampires are but, unlike Polish, they're not dull.

Evelyn slung the hay she called hair over her shoulder chattering to the teacher about her grades. _Oh my, she's so pitiful. I wonder if Tom would like someone of her kind…_ I also wondered why Edward had decided to be with me. Wouldn't it have been better for him to just kill me at once? I had used to crave death from his hands, but now I wanted to live. To feel happiness, sadness, joy, everything that made me human. It felt as if I had been born a second time.

"I would like to close the classroom," the teacher's voice broke me out of my trail of thoughts, making me realize I was the only student left in the room.

"What? Eee… yeah, right! I'm going now, I'm sorry."

I walked past the professor, who was shaking her head, saying to herself silently, "Eh, love…"

After a short visit in the locker room I run out of school, looking around nervously. A thought that Thomas wouldn't be there crossed my mind; to tell the truth, I wouldn't be surprised at all. But then my eyes caught the sight of the blonde man I was looking for and I knew I was terribly wrong. His face lit up as he saw me, too, and he rushed to meet me, holding a flower in his hands. _Do friends usually give each other roses?_ I wondered, confused, as I recognized the plant.

"Hi!" Thomas greeted me with his inseparable enthusiasm, hugging me gently with one hand while holding the flower with the other. Though I felt uncomfortable with the gesture, I returned it.

"Hi." I smiled at him.

"This is for you." He handed me the rose. When I noticed it was pink, I grimaced slightly; it was the one color I truly hated. It reminded me of all those cute plastic girls with strawberry blonde hair, fake boobs, miniskirts and an intelligence of a dinosaur.

Thomas noticed my disgusted expression and furrowed his brows in confusion. "What's wrong?" he asked worriedly.

"Nothing," I mumbled, embarrassed with my foolishness. He was giving me a gift, and here I was, whining like a spoiled brat! I should have acted as if I liked it and not make HIM feel embarrassed thinking that he'd done something wrong. Fighting to regain a happy expression despite the hated thing in my hand I sent him a weak forced smile and tried to make myself at least feign to appreciate his present, to no avail. I just couldn't bring myself to look pleased at the sight of something pink and my face again contorted in slight revulsion. He glanced at me, then at the rose, and his eyes widened as the realization dawned on him. His lips formed a straight line, a determined look on his face.

"I'll be right back," he snapped, snatching the flower from my hand and rushing to the parking lot. A huge silver Harley roared to life and took off, carrying Tom away, leaving me completely shocked on the schoolyard. _What is he going to do?_

A slight sting on my finger broke me out of my surprised state. As I raised my right hand to my face, I saw a tiny red drop on the tip of my thumb. It was glimmering like a coral in the faint light, growing slowly, until it spilled, making a crimson trail on my skin in its wake. Apparently, the rose had liked me too much to leave me and had clung to me for dear life with its sharp thorns. The tiny droplet taunted me and I put it to my lips, sucking the scarlet liquid off. Like every time before, my mind wandered to the taste of my blood. It wasn't the best I'd ever tasted (I find elderly people's blood sweeter and particularly appealing) but it was quite good. The flavor reminded me of a strange mix of iron, lemon and sugar. I sucked it greedily, wanting to exploit the occasion to the end.

_I wonder if it would be as good for Edward as it is for me. Probably even better, after all I'm his singer._ As soon as I caught myself on what I'd been thinking about, my hand fell to my side, forming a fist in self-anger. _Stop thinking about him, you fool! _I chastised myself._ Let him go!_

As I sat on a bench, I looked around to distract myself from the returning thoughts of the vampire. The weather was still gloomy, though the heavy rain was long gone, leaving only a remainder in the shape of muddy puddles and lonely drops of water falling from branches from time to time. The wind was chasing clouds away quickly, so even without my high predicting abilities I could have guessed that it would get better soon. Brown was winning over other colors in the landscape, making everything look dirty and depressing; even my mood. Still, I could not get over the fact that Edward wouldn't be with me anymore. I would not see his beautiful face, hear his musical voice, and feel his icy cold skin. Never again would I get lost in his burning crimson eyes…

For once, the weather matched my mood, for as I was wallowing in self-pity, heavy droplets started to fall again from the leaving clouds. They dampened my hair, curling it and sticking to my face, but I didn't care. I sighed heavily as a trail of moisture dripped down my forehead.

I don't know how long I was sitting there like that, getting wetter and wetter, more and more depressed as the time went by. All of a sudden, a hand on my arm shook me out of my reverie.

"Why are you sitting here like that? You're all wet!"

I looked up through a surprisingly thick screen of water into a fuzzy and misty shocked face of Thomas. His head was covered with a dark hood, hiding his forehead in shadows.

"Are you all right? What happened?" he asked worriedly, leaning over me.

The misty shield before my eyes shivered slightly and a new wave of moisture covered my cheeks, making me finally realize that I was crying. Quickly, I reached my hand to wipe away the traitor tears. "Nothin'," I mumbled, glaring at my damp hands folded now on my lap. Only now my state was fully dawning on me; I was completely drenched, beaten up inside and didn't feel comfortable at all.

Tom snorted. "Yeah, right." He put his hand gently over mine. "Please, tell me."

Sighing, I debated over his plea. _Maybe I would feel better after I tell him?_ "I'm just a bit down… I broke up with my boyfriend today."

"Oh."

Silence that fell then worried me, so I glanced at my friend. An odd expression changed his face, but when he saw me looking at him, he composed himself quickly.

"You had a boyfriend?" he asked blankly.

I blinked, trying to decipher his strange behavior. "Yes… I don't think I told you about him, but we had so little time yesterday. Guess we just didn't reach that stage of my life with our stories." I attempted at smiling, but failed miserably.

Seeing my lips trembling again, just a hairsbreadth to another breakdown, Thomas' expression got hard and serious. He grabbed my hand and tugged me lightly upward.

"Come on, let's get you inside before you catch a cold. You'll tell me everything when you're all dry and comfy."

He pulled me to the parking lot and mounted his Harley, making the machine growl so loudly that a few passers-by turned around to check what had caused the noise. A big round object flew at me and I caught it at the last second, stumbling a bit. It was a black helmet.

"Umm…" I stammered, confused.

"Put it on. I'd prefer you to be safe than sorry, even if there's not even a slight chance for us to crash." Tom winked at me.

Hesitantly, I raised the object and attempted to fit it onto my head, but something inside didn't let me in. Grumbling something unintelligible under my breath with frustration, I peered into the helmet, noticing some kind of strips. _What should I do with those?_

Noticing my confused expression, my friend laughed loudly and took the thing from my hands. He pulled me closer and swiftly attached everything the right way so my head would be protected.

"I assume then that you've never rode a motorcycle before," Thomas said, a smile obvious in his voice, while clasping something under my chin.

"Nope," I agreed. "But I can't wait to try." I grinned wickedly looking at the machine. They'd always fascinated me: so fast, lean and powerful. The boy smiled back widely and showed me how to sit properly in the passenger's place, which was hardly there at all. I didn't feel stable on the backseat; truth be said, I feared a little that I would accidentally fall off the side while turning.

Out of my peripheral vision I saw the blonde man hide something red in a bag attached to the side of the vehicle, before the engine roared like an angry animal, sending violent vibrations through my frame. The machine was much larger than me, a monster rather than an actual motor, and the impression was magnified by the loud noises. I doubted that I would be able to handle this wild beast; it would be the one driving, not me.

"Hang on!" Thomas called over his shoulder.

"To what?!" I tried to shout down the engine.

I faintly heard him laugh before he yelled, "Me!" and the vehicle sprung forward. My predictions nearly come true as I teetered dangerously, but I clutched Tom's jacket desperately at the last moment.

Everything around me was a blur, a green-gray smudge. The speed made my stomach cling to my spine and brought my heart to my throat, the feeling on the verge of fright but not quite yet. I was light-headed, the air ringing in my ears. It reminded me of my first ride with Edward, though this time the sensations were magnified by lack of walls separating me from the wind pressure.

Before I knew it, we were stopping at a parking lot somewhere I didn't recognize. Thomas turned off the Harley and helped me out of the vehicle, reaching then to unclasp the helmet.

"Where are we?" My words were muffled for my head was leant back to help him maneuver under my chin.

"At the hotel I'm staying in."

He reached into the bag on the side of the motor and dug, as I supposed, for the red thing he'd hid there earlier. My assumptions were right yet again: his hand came out with a rose, by any means not pink this time. It was red, with yellowish jagged edges, which was making it look bigger than it really was and more like some wild flower than an actual rose.

"Here," he said, handing me the flower. "I guess this one is better." He smiled and winked at me suggestively, having guessed my hatred for pink, and making me giggle lightly against my will.

We walked into the foyer quickly as it was already starting to rain again. Tom took his keys while I waited by the door, looking around the place. It was large and bright, decorated mostly in wood and white leather. It had to be expensive and I wondered briefly where he had so much money from. Many different possibilities ran through my head, most of which could be considered a crime. My suspicions vanished as soon as I saw my friend coming back with a huge happy grin. He looked so innocent with his slightly childish, soft features and always excited expression, how could he be up to something bad?

He took my hand and pulled me up the stairs and down some corridor. In the passing, I saw a cleaner staring daggers at me and realized that my clothes were all wet and water was dripping from me on the floor. She probably hated me for adding to her work. We came to a halt at a white door with a silver plate with number 65. Tom fumbled with the keys a little and after a while we finally stepped inside. Just like the hall, it was decorated in light yellow wood and white leather. The space was huge, with a massive bed on the right, a small table with an armchair in the middle and some cupboards by the wall. The floor was covered with a giant round plushy carpet, the one you would drown into like in a young high grass. There was another door on the left, a restroom as I assumed.

"Come on, let's get you dry," Tom took the rose out of my hand and tugged on my drenched coat so I took it off, hanging it on a peg by the door.

He put the flower into a vase standing on the table, already filled with white lotus blossoms, before walking to the cupboard and beginning to rummage about in the drawers. Some things were tossed in my direction; I jumped forward to catch them, but they landed on the floor anyway, missing my stretched arms by a hairsbreadth. I heard a quiet chuckle while I was picking up the clothes. It was a huge white T-shirt of Slipknot and a pair of colorful boxer shorts with a recently fashionable Hawaii flowers pattern.

"Why are you throwing your clothes at me?" I asked, confused and irritated.

He laughed louder, clutching his stomach and almost doubling over. "It's for you to change in, silly! You have to take off these wet clothes of yours before you catch a cold."

I didn't like his idea at all. "Nonetheless, I'd prefer a cold. At least it would be mine," I mumbled. My face got hot at the thought of wearing men's clothes, boxers moreover. It would be going against my rules.

I saw Thomas smirk as if he was enjoying my inner struggle. "Don't be embarrassed," he mocked, walking towards me. Then, he just pushed me towards the second door by my shoulders. "Go get a warm shower and change into these. Leave the wet clothes on the radiator to dry; it shouldn't take long."

Sighing with annoyance, I stepped inside the room, which appeared to be a bathroom indeed. It was considerably smaller than the main room but just as bright and quite spacious. There was a huge shower in the corner, with a lot of knobs, half of which I didn't know what to use for. I spotted a radiator over one of the counters, big enough to accommodate all my stuff. Everything was practically shining, making me feel out of place, like a farmer in a castle.

"Towels are in the cabinet by the sink!" a voice yelled from outside.

I took them out, large and fluffy, just like the carpet, and started to undress, looking around uncomfortably, as if something would pop out of nowhere on me. Or as if there was an almost unknown man outside the door that might come inside any moment and do something… unspeakable. _I shouldn't have come here,_ I chanted in my head as I was stepping into the shower. _I'm definitely crossing my line. I'm in a hotel room with a man I barely know, naked in a shower. Like some slut. At least I'm alone here._ I glanced quickly over my shoulder and by the glass door of the shower to make sure of that.

Hot water flowed down my back, soothing my nerves and shivers I hadn't noticed had appeared from the cold. _I'm doing only what I need to, _I argued with myself._ I'm not being a slut when I'm just a responsible person who does not want to get ill. And he would not do something like that to me._ This seemed to disperse my concerns and I was able to finish my shower in peace. I dried myself with the fluffy white towel, almost getting lost in it due to its size, and left one on my hair. I doubted Thomas had a hairdryer so I would have to leave it to Mother Nature to do the job. My undergarments weren't really wet so I decided to wear them underneath the outfit my friend had chosen for me. _This way I'd feel more comfortable._ I smirked smugly. The clothes were far too big for me; I practically drowned in them. The boxers could do as ¾ trousers for me, the shirt fell almost to my knees. I had to roll the sleeves a few times to be able to operate with my hands. I took a glance at myself in the mirror and snorted at how ridiculous I looked. Hesitantly, I stepped out of the bathroom.

Thomas had already changed into dry clothes: a pair of torn jeans and a black shirt, and was lying on the bed with his hands folded under his head, a perfect picture of peace and relaxation. He smiled as he saw me.

"You look cute," he commented. I couldn't tell if he really meant it or was just joking, so I half snorted, looking down in embarrassment. "Sit down, please. Make yourself at home," he said, gesturing towards the bed.

I ignored the suggestion and instead opted for the armchair. Even if my feminist suspicions had been proved wrong so far, I didn't want to get more self-conscious, and consequently more edgy. The leather armchair turned out to be more comfortable than it looked; it was soft and bent deeply while I sat, just like an air mattress.

The blonde boy sighed and sat up, looking at his hands, which he rested on his lap. "So…" he started uneasily, "do you want to talk with me about this… boyfriend of yours?"

I bit the inside of my cheek, thinking of the answer. Did I? Wasn't the topic too fresh for this discussion to be distant and objective? Would I break down again while reminding myself of the man that had been mine no further back than this morning? Or had I shed all the tears that had been left in my tear ducts? I peeked at Tom; he looked at me with concern, curiosity and something else I didn't recognize. I knew he'd understand; he was my old friend, I still remembered how it had used to be when I had known him so well. And even if I did break down, he'd support me, calm me down and then cheer me up with some funny stories. Just like during the good old times.

"We've been together for over a month now. He was the most perfect man I've ever seen." I smiled involuntarily at the memory.

"Then why did you break up," my friend almost sneered. "If he was so perfect?" he spit the word with disgust.

"Umm…" I realized then how hard it would be to explain it to him properly without giving out who Edward was. _I shouldn't have started this._ "He has… a problem with his temper. He gets angry easily and can be… unpredictable at times."

Thomas became alert. "Did he hurt you? Because if he did, I swear…"

"No, no, he didn't hurt me," I cut him off before he could finish his threat; it wasn't like he'd be able to harm Edward anyway. "He cared about me. But he was very jealous… because of you." I glanced at him uneasily, but his face was expressionless. "This morning it just came out of hand. I was really afraid of him this time… so I decided I can't live like that anymore."

There was a deep silence after my words; I could practically hear cars speeding down the street below us and some music playing upstairs. I was fiddling with the hem of the shirt I was wearing, not sure what to say or do now.

"You shouldn't have dated someone like him," Tom's whisper broke the silence. "You deserve better."

"There is no one better," I muttered, not really intending him to hear that, but he did anyway. His face hardened.

"Obviously, there is! He can't be good if he's aggressive towards you! It's not real love!"

It was my turn to become angry, but I forced my lips into a thin line, try to avoid a pointless argument. No matter how much effort I'd make to explain it to him, he would not understand. He would not understand Edward, whose behavior was determined by his nature; there was no point explaining this while I couldn't tell about vampires, it would only get more confusing. We would never come to an agreement on this field. Because he was right; or rather would be if Edward was human.

Again, heavy silence fell over the room. At the beginning, the tension between us was so thick you could probably hang an axe in the air. As the time went, we were slowly calming, the atmosphere cleaning itself with each tick of a clock. Finally, Thomas sighed and, not looking at me, said, "Truth be said, I'm glad you two aren't together anymore."

I glared at him, suddenly angry again. _How could he say something like that while I'm still all miserable and mourning? _The boy I knew in the kindergarten would have not said anything to upset me. Maybe he'd changed more than I'd thought…

"He was a dumbass, who wasn't worth even a slice of hair from your head."

"He's worth much more than that! More than you'd ever know!" I defended. _Oh no, he would NOT offend Edward! Even if I'm not with him anymore I would still not let it pass! Offending my boyfriend (or ex-boyfriend in that case) equals offending me!_

"Yeah, right. Stupid jerk. If he was so great he wouldn't have broken up with you."

"I think you got something wrong," I tried to remain calm despite the burning anger, "it was ME who broke up with HIM!"

"If he didn't want it, he wouldn't have let you go."

Rage was boiling the blood in my veins. He was twisting every word I said and using it against Edward, trying to manipulate me into hating him! It made me sick. And I had thought he would understand me and try to make me feel better! He acted as if… as if he was jealous. The realization stunned me for a moment. I went over his behavior during our meetings. A few times I had noticed him acting strange, and it had only intensified since I'd told him about Edward. Everything fit perfectly. Another man who was obsessively protective of me; definitely not what I needed at the moment.

I tried to make my voice calm and even as I explained. "Edward cared about me. He knew I would be better off without him and so he let me go."

Tom looked at me skeptically with a sarcastic smirk plastered on his face. "Oh really? Or maybe he had some other chick aside and wanted to just get rid of you?"

My mouth opened to argue with him, but I couldn't get a word out. A face appeared in the back of my mind, a face I'd hoped I would never see again, and clouded every other thought. Eve. Was it possible that the way Edward had acted that night at the bar had been only a bluff? Was it possible that he had wanted to cover his affection for her with fake hate and harsh words to blind me, so that I wouldn't feel hurt? Was it possible that he had set up the whole jealousy scene to make me feel convinced that I didn't need him, so that he would not have to ditch me himself? Was it possible that I had been that blind...?

My old friend noticed he'd scored a bull's-eye with his assumption this time and followed that scent, his evil smirk widening. "Very convenient, allowing you to finish the relationship. The coward didn't even have the nerve to tell you the truth. I bet he's with this other girl now, laughing at how easily you were fooled."

Everything in me was screaming at me not to believe him, every fiber of my being was sure Edward was not bad. However, the truth had told a different story many times. There was no denying that the vampire had hurt me more than once. He could have easily lied to me. It would be a child's game for him. _A game…_ _Everything was a game… From the very beginning, that's what he told me then. He just wanted to have fun with his prey…_

"He couldn't… He wouldn't…" I was mumbling, staring at the floor with unseeing eyes. Thomas couldn't be right. He was just speculating, making up a believable story to make me hate Edward and turn to him. HE was the one playing games with me.

I stood up, jutting my chin up high with anger. "You don't know him!" I shouted and rushed to the door, determined to get out of there. If I was to look at Tom's face and listen to his words any longer I'd just hit him square in the face, wiping the stupid smirk out of it with my fist. I didn't care that I was just wearing his T-shirt and boxer shorts, my clothes were all wet, hanging in the bathroom and there was a little over zero Celsius degrees outside – I just wanted to leave.

"Hey there, where are you going? Come back here!" I heard the boy yell after me, a sharp edge in his voice.

I ignored him and reached for a knob. It didn't yield under my pushes. My struggles came to nothing; the door was locked and no key was to be seen. No way to escape. I didn't know what was going on, but I didn't like it at all. But before I could start to panic, I felt a sharp pain jolting my neck and everything went black.

* * *

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